who i am

I dont remember me asking her to stay, but she took over.

hair's been chopped short.

dyed shades of reds and blues.

shorts being worn.

no jacket.

no glasses on my nose.

no pimples on my face.

a smile, 

glimmers in the light.

Where did I go?

no longer hiding,

sitting,

waiting,

for my life to happen.

not insecure.

or unsure of myself.

Theres nothing to fear,

only to live.

I smile more.

I laugh more.

i get out of the house.

walk around the mall.

this wasnt me.

Where is that 13 year old me?

has it really been so long,

that I've completely changed?

I never noticed,

until today.

right now.

this girl I look at in the mirror,

does she know who she's replaced?

or

have I merely grown up into this girl?

I talk on the phone for hours,

with him.

he's a friend.

who I like.

but he's gay,

so I let it go.

and I go to the moives.

with friends!

friends....

such strange things to suddenly have.

I wonder when I came across them.

I cant quite remember,

only a few.

but not all.

all i know,

is that they like to act,

or sing,

or dance,

or read manga,

or go to comicon.

like me!

and I'm learing ASL.

something I've always wanted to learn.

what once was so hard to learn,

is easy. 

what is this?

this strange life I've come across,

is it me?

I feel like it is.

I want this to be me.

what is it about this new me,

that makes me think the old me,

never was....

Author's Note

um yea....this is how i feel rihgt now