Life to those in which i've lost

a poem to a short story of mine and i need help in titling

On darkest nights I fear I am alone
Lost without companion, without home.
I fear I am to always be no great man.
To lose myself as others so often do,
In society's rather boring normalities,

Where work is sought to provide,
For one�s most loveliest of brides.
But alas mine has perished all to soon
Leaving me the complete buffoon,
In drinks of ale to calm my loon.

As for when the tap has been dried up
I�m left with my mind on the brink
Of those who think I�m a fink,
And I must agree to their notions
That I�m a man of lost proportions

Searching to be so much more
Than a mere mortal man of bore.
So run with my mind this I shall do,
And let it be not a further ado,
For this life I live without my wife

Shall be a one only to ruse,
And hide it best that one can.
For without my lovely wife,
My true love, and my best of friend
I am lost to the very end.

Author's Note

I need help in titleing this poem. it goes with a short story of mine and i can't really continue until i get a title... thanks. - Ed

Reviews

[Misa]

Well, l agree with Kara's comments regarding the punctuation - it just requires a bit of a re-read, l think, to find those tiny errors & typos. As for the write itself, l love the images of older Renaissance (bloody hell lc an't spell) times you wove throughout this. Had a very melancholy - but still alive - feel to it. l don't have any advice for a title, but the story itself is quite...lovely, l think.

[blue2u]

I am such a romantic and I must admit the first title that cmae to mind also was "Searching" or "Enduring"
You are going to get the right title for this piece because this just seems like to good of write not for it to happen for.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

i love titles :)

do you mind if i do a little editing, too? i'm assuming you're open to it.

"On darkest nights I fear I am alone
Lost without companion, without home.
I fear I am to always be no great man.
To lose myself as others so often do,
In society's rather boring normalities, "

I fixed some grammar/typing mistakes. I loved the first two lines. and the third was fantastic. and the final two were just such a great statement. all in all, the first verse really reeled me in.

"Where work is sought to provide,
For one's most loveliest of brides.
But, alas, mine has perished all to soon
Leaving me the complete buffoon,
In drinks of ale to calm my loon."

I like how the story develops here.

"As for when the tap has been dried up
I'm left with my mind on the brink
Of those who think I'm a fink,
And I must agree to their notions,
That I'm a man of lost proportions."

What a unique way of stating this. I'm not use to reading such story-like poems, or ones that are so obvious. But I'm really liking what you''re saying here.

"Searching to be so much more
Than a mere mortal man of bore.
So run with my mind this I shall do,
And let it be not a further ado,
For this life I live without my wife"

The "run with my mind" line is a little awkward. I'm not really sure what you're trying to say with that.

"Shall be a one only to ruse,
And hide it best that one can.
For without my lovely wife,
My true love, and my best of friend
I am lost to the very end."

Good ending. The story concludes nicely.

As for a title.... hmm.....
"Refusing Complacency"
?
or ... "Searching" or "To That Which I Have Lost"

Hehe, I'm not sure which way you're really trying to go with it, so there's some that came to mind. If I can be of any help, you can always bounce ideas off of me. :)

Hope you didn't mind my going line by line through your piece, lol. I do that ever so occasionally. lucky you lol

[E. M. Murren]

This is a sad work but gracefully written. There is beauty in melancholy like this. As for a title... the only thing that comes to mind is Lost. I am into one word titles. LOL I hope you find a good one. Cheers.

[Lia]

Great piece. Really like it. I'm bad with titles, sorry lol xx