Chapter Seven: Confidante

Sounds and smells blurred around me, changing frequencies and altering their path. I found myself surrounded by everything and anything. Words and unmistakeable sounds reached my ears, filling me with joy and curiosity - what was this place? Where was I? Amongst this, I could smell the antiseptic in the air, the food which passed my nose and the perfume which lingered on the bed sheets I had draped over my limp form.

This was a hospital. The sound of a monitor beeping in time with the pace of my heart could be heard to my left, and the almost silent sound of squeaky shoes passing me by as doctors and nurses alike rushed to help others filtered into my ears. Further ahead, perhaps not too far from where I lay, was the sound of someone coughing, their body shuddering with the shock of carrying out such an instinctive action. Snores, moans and sighs filled my head, alongside the sound of conversation fluttering around me.

A familiar perfume wafted into my nose, and it gave me the courage to peel open my eyes, revealing the soft white of the ceiling above me. Bright lights beamed down from above, blinding me as I gazed upon them. My pupils turned to pinpoints at the introduction to such a harsh light, and I averted my gaze towards the machine by my side, a strange wire weaving amongst all the others and moving underneath my clothing and onto my chest, monitoring my heart rate.

I breathed in a shaky breath and scanned the remainder of the cubicle I was in. The blue curtains were drawn around me, surrounding me in my own quiet world - no one permitted to enter this sacred place of recovery. A lazy small formed on my pink lips, and my eyes half-closed at the thought of being left alone. All my life I had been surrounded by strangers and friends, everyone wanting to encourage me out of the shell I had withdrawn into. Now, I was finally left alone, my own self granted rest and privacy - a word I had yet to understand.

My bright blue eyes focused on the sheets drawn over me, encompassing me in a cocoon of warmth and relaxation. My toes pointed at the ends, and I stretched my long body, relishing the feel of my muscles complying with one simple command. The smile stretched wider into a grin, and I glanced over to the empty chair positioned next to my head, where someone would have filled it. A sweet fragrance filled my nose as I softly inhaled near the chair, and my smile faded as quickly as it had come.

Jane had been here sometime during the time I was unconscious. Her perfume was one I could never mistake for someone else's, and it worried me that she had known where to find me. Which aroused another question inside of me: How had I managed to wake up here, when I had last been in the woods? The memory of that night was foggy and out-of-focus; too hard to look back onto such a horrific night and truly recall the images and sounds which filled my head.

Kiera had been there. I remembered her cold, heartless face as she gazed angrily into my eyes. Her face was so much like mine, excluding the dark green of her emerald eyes, and the way her hair contained streaks I had never noticed before. She was enhanced in a way that was inhuman, and when my eyes had settled on the wings attached to her back, it had filled me with awe and horror. If Kiera wasn't human, then it was safe to assume that neither was I.

My chest rose and fell in deep, long breaths as I contemplated what had happened. Images and sounds raced through my head; moments I wished I could ignore suddenly demanding my attention. I wanted none of it. I wanted to forget everything that had happened during the night - it scared me to know that I was separated from my friends and family by DNA I didn't want. It was absurd to assume that I was a descendant of a race known as the Fade - a race that had gotten to my sister's mind and tainted her memories in nothing but shadow. She was just as much a victim of their plan as I was, and like the children we had been, we had ignored the danger lurking in the background, and focused on using what we had.

And that had cost my sister her life.

The blue curtains suddenly drew back violently, and I jumped in surprise, my eyes immediately closing for some unknown reason. The reaction was like the clap of thunder - I protected myself by closing my eyes and acting as if I wasn't conscious. My eyelids slammed shut of their own accord, and my breathing regulated into slower breaths rather than the rapid intakes I had been running through moments before.

Footsteps echoed around the small cubicle as I heard someone walk around the bed. A faint bump roused my attention, and I found myself wondering who was here and why. No one I could think of would come here - as far as I knew, no one even knew I was here at all. For all anyone else knew, I had been taken ill by a cold and was subjected to endure the boring colours of my bedroom walls. No one would have thought anything of it - and why should they? This was a reasonably normal town, where nothing ever happened.

The light weight which was resting on the cover began to move, trailing up from the edge of the bed and coming to rest just next to my hand. There, I felt someone else's warm hand clasp my own, tightly and comfortingly. A small sob choked out of my company's lips, and it was then that I realised who my visitor was.

Jane was here. She had come back to see how I was doing - she would never leave my side. She would never abandon me.

"Please wake up," sniffed Jane, her voice croaky and heavy with tears. I was sure this was not the first time she had uttered those words. It was as if they were her own mantra, and by somehow uttering them again and again, she could make me open my eyes and speak.

A burning desire raged inside of me as I battled my inner thoughts. Part of me was arguing against this charade - how could I merely lie here and listen to the agonised weeping of my friend? She had been with me all these years, and to not respond when it was evident I was awake was...cruel. But I was too afraid to set my eyes upon hers, and to know the pain I had caused. I didn't want to stare into her green eyes - so much like my sister's - and recognise the same faint look of betrayal floating in the depths.

"Terra," rasped Jane, her voice lower and more urgent. "You know you can talk to me about what truly happened. This isn't like you."

Agony tore through me. My eyes flickered underneath the lids, and I heard Jane's light intake of breath as she dared to believe what she had seen. But I did not stir. I did not grant her that wish and open my eyes to gaze upon her beautiful face. No matter how desperate I was to reassure her that everything was fine, I knew she had her doubts and questions burning on the tip of her tongue. And who wouldn't? No doubt I looked as if I had been crushed and forced to the edge of the earth; my body battered and bruised, cuts and broken bones adorning my pale white body. Jane would have woven a believable lie for my other friends to fall into - doubt her they would not.

But Jane would have her suspicions. She would always know when something was bothering me. After having watched me endure the most horrific of events, and after having held me close like I was her sibling, Jane would always know when things were heading south. My broken body currently lying limp on the hospital bed was evidence enough of where things were headed: Danger.

"Talk to me," she begged, her hand tightening in my own as she dared me to awaken and look into her eyes. Her hold on me was firm, and had I not been under pain-killers, I was sure her hold would have been bone-crushingly painful. As it was, everything was a numb wreck of activity, the pain swirling and coiling underneath my skin, yet I was too drugged to know about it yet.

Save me.

A flash of my sister's childhood face flooded my mind, and I felt a stab of pain jolt into me. For a second, I swore I heard a falter in the machine's constant beeping, yet when I concentrated further for another fault, nothing happened. Jane mustn't have heard it - her weeping was too loud for her to hear anything above such a sound. And I was content to leave her that way. Though tears did nothing but feed the anxiety and doubts inside your head, it also gave you some solace to know that there could be a brighter side. Tears fed the rebellion inside of you - I was sure.

I felt myself drifting as the seconds ticked away, and time passed smoothly by. Jane was a constant fixture in my room, and whenever a doctor or nurse happened to hear her pleaful sobs, they would attempt to convince her to leave me be. Often enough they would remind her of how my body was heavily sedated so I wouldn't awaken for some time - of course, none of them had anticipated that their patient wasn't exactly human. The reminder was another jab to my innards, and I wished I was a normal patient. I wished I had never encountered Kiera in the woods, or that I had ever discovered my ability to conjure magic from my fingertips.

Darkness surrounded me in a cocoon of doubts and pain. My body was too far adapted to give way to such feeble drugs, and when I was on the brink of breaking through the barrier blocking me from truly experiencing such agony, I was dragged back under into another world.

Warmth flooded through my body as I floated in this strange world. Images of my past floated by, records of time flooding across my mind, and each one of them beckoned to me. I felt myself drifting towards nowhere in particular, the darkness stretching out like an infinite cloak shrouding the light from view and tainting everything. My eyes strained for some sort of light to liberate me from this hellish place, yet it did not come. I was forced to remain in this dark prison for eternity, wandering aimlessly and crying out for some sort of justice.

Time seemed meaningless as the world resting above me cried out. It was like I was submerged in water, the waves lapping against me and forcing me further away from civilisation. I tumbled over and under, spiralling out of control, my mouth dropping open in a dazed panic. My hands lashed out and attempted to clutch onto something, yet all I grabbed was water, and such a substance could not be held on to or relied upon.

No hand plunged into this water to latch onto mine and haul me away. Help never came to those who required it. In fact - help didn't ever come to people like me. The ones who had done no wrong and yet were forced to endure the worst.

Up above me, I could hear the muffled sounds of people talking. I couldn't make out what words were used or the tones - it was all just a mumble of music threaded together to make one long and endless tune. Jane was most likely murmuring something to me - perhaps attempting to bring me out of the water I had inevitably fallen into. Her words couldn't save me, nor would they bring me any solace.

Save me.

That had been Kiera's final words to me. She had begged for me to save her from the cruel fate she was forced to endure. Because she could hear and see everything she did, and she could no doubt feel every surge of emotion the Fade permitted her to feel. Yet she could not break free of the heavy chains dragging her down and planting her safely out of reach in that hollow body. She was forced to think otherwise and view me as someone to exact her revenge on. The Fade wanted her to attack and destroy me, in the hope that I would lash out in order to defend myself - ending the two of us.

More time sped by, and it was a blur of activity above. There was a small pinpoint of a hole revealing the world above - a world I could barely focus on. Jane's body was out of view, and I wondered if she had abandoned me like she promised to never do. No rush of emotions came to my aid to further convince me of the case. There was nothing left for me to feel but the bone-crushing realisation that this was my world now. I was subjected to endure an eternity of darkness and loneliness.

Save me.

I somehow wished I had kept the promise I had unknowingly made to my twin. She didn't deserve to be corrupt and tainted for the remainder of her days; forced to remain a loyal servant to the ones who possessed her. It was a cruel fate and one that wasn't meant for her. If Kiera was to remain for eternity like we were forced to, surely something else awaited her. Surely something else awaited us somewhere ahead.

No! I would not permit Kiera to fade into black. This was not how it came to end. Our lives were not yet concluded. Too many things awaited us in the future for this to be our final struggle. Kiera and I had suffered and endured too much for this to be our final stand. If we were going to go down, it would not be because we were resigned. It would not be because we had trapped ourselves in their hands.

The Fade could not and would not kill us. The bond that strengthened us was not about to be broken by another species. If they wanted us to destroy one another, they'd have to do a lot more than plan and pray. Though Kiera was trapped and unsure of what was right and wrong, she needed to remember the moment when we had been reunited. She needed to remember what Mother and Father had told us.

Staying strong and working together was our only hope at this point. And by God - I was not going down just yet!

My arms and legs kicked out as I surged upwards to meet the world. The water which had been holding me back and tumbling me into the abyss was fading out of view. Bubbles burst around my arms and legs as I forced my muscles to work. I was forcing myself out of the darkness I had cocooned myself into.

The sound of my heart thudding could be heard, and not too far off was the beeping of that damn machine. But it was a good sound to flood my ears, and as I surged upwards - my arms working arrogantly and my legs kicking below - I had never felt more alive; more determined to wake up and face the danger heading my way. Being outnumbered and weak had always been a struggle I had encountered in my years, but it had never slowed me down or prevented me from getting what I wanted. And it certainly wasn't about to begin now.

Water clung to my body and attempted to drag me back down as the world came into focus. The pale white ceiling was rapidly coming to meet me as I lashed out. Still, the water wound around my ankles and wrists, desperately attempting to heave me back into the abyss of pain and torment. It wanted me out of the fight. It wanted me to succumb to resignation and just wait for the moment when they would find me.

My mouth opened into a wide O of surprise, and I reached out to touch the world above. My fingertips just barely grazed life, and as it did so, I felt the water recede and the hands to loosen. The world below me fell out of focus, and the one above sped up to greet me. I closed my eyes as I felt air stir against my cheek, and a chorus of noise to hammer into my ears. Warmth encompassed me, and a small smile tugged against the corners of my lips.

This was my world. And I wasn't about to leave it any time soon.

A cry of surprise suddenly sounded beside me as I peeled open my eyes, revealing the pale white of the ceiling. The ceiling I had viewed from an entirely different perspective only moments before. "You're awake!" gasped Jane, and her hands immediately clutched onto my own.

My head turned to face the beauty sitting beside me, and my smile widened in relief. Her green orbs shined with unshed tears as she gazed upon my face, and a grateful smile formed on her pink lips. There were dark shadows under her eyes from lack of sleep, and I briefly wondered how long I had been unconscious. The dark abyss I had been forced into hadn't provided me with time. It had felt like only a few minutes I had been under, yet the look on Jane's face begged to differ.

"Are you alright?" continued my friend, her eyes roving over the contours of my face, carefully scrutinising every bruise painted onto my skin. Her eyes tightened at the edges as she wavered on something near my jaw-line, and a faint flicker of curiosity rose inside of me, before Jane said, "I was so worried for you. I'd never seen such wounds on anyone before, and when I first saw you...I thought-" She immediately cut herself off and closed her eyes, bowing her head as the tears leaked out, silently trailing down her crimson-flushed cheeks.

"Shhh," I murmured, untangling one of my hands from a tube attached to my left hand. It looked overly large, and a sick, nauseous feeling tugged at the pit of my stomach, begging me to release everything I had eaten the day prior to the attack. "I'm fine, Jane. There's no need to worry for me. I'm here, aren't I?"

The mass of curling red hair obscured her face from view, but I could only imagine the torment occupying her face. Considering I couldn't see what I looked like, I had to take her silence as description of what I looked like. I wondered how badly Kiera had beaten me when she had finally gotten her hands on me again. Something warned me that asking about the amount of injuries would only cause more distress to Jane, and so I refrained from asking.

"How did you get hurt?" whispered Jane, her voice muffled by her hair acting as a veil.

Upon my hesitation to answer the question, Jane lifted her head so that her eyes were focused wholly on me. No one disturbed us as the silence stretched out, and I averted my gaze from her probing eyes, afraid to glance into them and greet the pain obviously tormenting her.

"Terra?" continued Jane, her tone softer and more...understanding? "You know I would never tell anyone else what happened. And besides, if you can't tell me this, then what can you tell me?"

A sigh left my lips, and my head once again rested against the soft of the pillows. My eyes closed at the memory of that night, and a rush of emotions came to meet me. Pain, horror, anger and fright were my primary emotions, and I just wished they would all go away and leave me to sleep.

More silence stretched out, in which time I took it upon myself to make a face at the tubes attached to my body. The one I avoided at all costs was the one dug into my left hand. The shape of it was indescribable, and could only be seen as a tap-like object. There was a hole at the top of the small nozzle-thing which was where liquids were no doubt injected into my veins. The image was less than kind, and I shuddered at the thought of permitting someone to inject something into my veins, let alone attach that strange object to my hand.

"Terra, please!" begged Jane, her hand clutching mine in a painfully tight hold. My left hand throbbed as the drugs wore off, and I was suddenly thankful that Jane wasn't gripping that one as tightly as she was the other.

My eyes swivelled to Jane's pleading gaze, taking note of the way she shook every now and then - tremors running down her spine as she focused on the machine placed to my left. Until now, I had forgotten that it was responsible for focusing on my heart, but now the beeping sound filled my head like a clock. The sound was amplified, and I shoved it to the back of my mind, squelching the panic rising inside of me.

Tell or lie?

Jane sat back in her chair, a look of defeat on her face, her curling red hair blocking her eyes from view, further damaging me on the inside. Every time I denied Jane the truth of things, another slap would be delivered to my face, sending me into fits of agony. Yet it was nothing compared to what she would have to endure, and I attempted to place myself in her shoes, wondering what I would feel like if someone were to hide the truth from me.

Would I know they were protecting me? Or would I just feel horrified that they couldn't trust me enough to tell me the truth?

After all Jane had done for me - constantly standing by my side and comforting me, was it so right for me to deny her the truth she so rightly deserved? Did I have the right to constantly lie to her when she had held me in times of need?

After all the times Jane had confided in me and built an unbreakable bond between us - one that rivalled Kiera's and my own - could I lie to her again? Knowing that this time could shatter our friendship yet keep her alive.

The Fade would not hesitate in killing her if it came to that, and if I told Jane everything - including the Fade - there was no guarantee what would become of it.

"We all have our secrets," croaked Jane, her voice weaker than I had ever heard it - like she had screamed in an empty room until her voice could take no more. "But sometimes we have to rely on others to hold us when we're too weak." Her head lifted to meet my eyes, and a warm smile formed on her lips. "Let me be the one to carry you."

I shook my head, fighting what was right and what was needed. "I don't want to see you get hurt," I responded weakly, averting my gaze.

"Have I ever needed your protection before?" demanded Jane, her tone amused and yet frightened at the same time. She was confused, I knew it.

Another shake of the head.

"There you have it!" she declared, clapping her hands together and leaning forwards in her chair. "I don't need you to keep me safe or dive in front of a bullet for me. All I need you to do is confide in me and let me know that our friendship can survive the limits."

"You'd never believe me if I told you," I said anxiously. My hands had detached themselves from Jane's firm hold, and now clasped one another, my thumbs twiddling with one another like a game.

Jane laughed lightly, the sound like a ray of sunshine on a shadowed piece of land: Breathtaking. "Try me."

And so it came out. Not all of it - there were some things I could never reveal to Jane. It was better if she never knew about the true dangers out there, or of the Fade and what had happened so many years ago. Some things were just meant to be left in the dark so that they could collect dust and eventually be forgotten. Leaving them untouched was better than removing them from their place and being faced with questions you couldn't handle.

I told Jane about the occurrence during the fire which had claimed the lives of my parents. I told her about how there were times when I felt...inhuman. I told her everything that needed to be told, dancing over the topic of the Fade and anything else that could get her harmed.

Kiera's name popped out as I continued relaying the story as I saw it, and Jane's eyes grew wider and wider as she listened to the tale. I was unsure of what she was thinking or of what she felt, and I just prayed she wouldn't run screaming from the room in a dazed panic. Jane had always been there for me, yet there was a wad of information she had yet to pick up on. My past was shrouded in pain and misery, and Jane would never get to know the half of it. Perhaps this was for the best.

I made sure to include my abilities and how I had shared that with Kiera, yet I refrained from going into further detail. The Fade would have to be included if I delved deeper, and so I avoided the topic of Kiera's demise, or of how I had come to know some of the things I did.

I included the reunion with my deceased family, and took extra care of what I voiced, aware of some of the words used in that particular memory. A heavy wave of emotion formed in my chest as I mentioned the departure of my parents, and a few tears streaked down my cheeks as the idea of them leaving me came to form. Jane's eyes were just as wet as my own, and she hastily wiped at them, perhaps remembering all the great times we had had together. She had been as much a part of my family as Kiera, and I often saw Jane as another fellow sibling.

Once I was done relaying everything and anything needed, silence stretched out again. I didn't bother to comfort her or slather the truth with something sweet. Jane was capable of drinking this in without a small lie to soften the load.

After a while, Jane's green eyes locked with my blue ones, and a frown formed in between her brows, creating a crease on her forehead. She bit at her lip for a few seconds, silently contemplating something, and then said three words which liberated me from the fear I had been weighed down with. "I believe you."

Relief flooded through me, cancelling out the previous lies and torment I had been forced to endure during her silence. My eyes softened and a sigh of relief left my lips, a smile of understanding blooming on my pale face. My chest rose and fell in long, grateful breaths, and my hand searched for one of Jane's, desperately fighting the desire to break down and cry and just hold her hand - to know that she was always going to be there for me.

Her words acted like balm on an open wound, soothing it and eventually healing the damage caused. Jane's trust in me had not wavered, and had only strengthened with the wad of information I had given her. And if Jane had had any doubts on what I had fed her, she didn't mention it or show it.

"Thank you," I breathed. My hand clutched Jane's in an unbreakable hold, and I leaned back against the pillows with more ease. The pressure and strain of the secrets I had kept were gone, a lighter load now resting upon my shoulders. A load I refused to hand over to Jane.

My friend smiled in acknowledgement. "I know there's more you have to tell me. But I won't pry and demand to know what it is." I sent her a questioning look, not fully comprehending what she meant and her reason for saying so. Jane continued and said, "We all have our secrets. Some need to be shared so as to make the load lighter. Whereas others need to be kept hidden because of the depth of the truth and the effect it can have on the holder and the listener."

I nodded, a smaller smile replacing the one before. "Since when did you become so wise?" I teased.

Jane laughed lightly. "Since you forced me to wake up at around one in the morning and find you out of bed!" Her green eyes were alight with humour, and I could tell that she hadn't enjoyed waking at such a time.

"What made you wake up so early?" I demanded, turning my head to face hers, lessening the strain on my eyes as I did so. The bed creaked under the small amount of movement.

"The police phoned me and said you had been found lying unconscious in the woods." The smile faded from her countenance, and her eyes darkened at the memory. A memory I would never fully understand, but still saw from my own perspective. "Apparently an anonymous tipper had called the police and informed them of the situation. They then proceeded to investigate and called me afterwards."

I winced at the idea of rousing too much attention, knowing that in a small town such as this one, an incident would no doubt gain a lot of publicity. "Does anyone else know?"

Jane shook her head. "A lot of people asked questions on how you were doing and such, and there were a few who asked what had happened. I just deflected the questions and gave them a small lie." The sly smile on her face had me frowning in suspicion, wondering what excuse she had concocted to exact her revenge on me for not having told her sooner.

"What exactly did you tell them?" I asked carefully, staring at her with wide eyes at the thought. She could have told them anything, and that was less than comforting.

As if to further unsettle me, Jane flashed me a smug grin, one that had me backpedalling. "I told them you were sleep-walking and you'd probably walked into more than one tree along the way." She winked as my jaw dropped open, horror dawning on me. "I believe I painted a humorous picture that will remain there to the end of their days."

"Who did you tell that to?" I found myself demanding, my jaw regaining its usual composure, and now clenching in anger.

Jane chuckled at my expression, no doubt relishing this. "The blabber-mouths."

A groan of resignation left my lips, and I collapsed against the bed, a sigh of horror puffing out from my mouth. It was too late to do anything. I'd just have to endure the jesting for the next few years or so. By now, the whole town would know, and I'd be subjected to the story for the rest of my life.

Jane might have well have slept with one eye open - there was going to be Hell to pay for this.