Zach and Marie's Pleasure Penthouse

It was as though they had been waiting for me to arrive. I saw them there sitting on the couch. Marie looking poised and perfect in her pencil skirt and blouse, sitting with her hands in her lap. Zach looking burley and kind and awkward with his big a*s beard and horn rim glasses and his blazer, and I thought ‘Oh god what have I done this time? What new sin had they cooked up for me? Did Marie find my sock? Am I a pervert now?’

“Sit down James, we need to talk to you.”

“Oh come on guys this is stupid. Yeah sure I don't go to mass, but I never signed up for this s**t when I moved in! Does drinking on the weekend offend you that much Marie?”

“JAMES SIT!”

“Alright.” Zach didn't like me talking down to Marie.

“Well why are we all here today then? Did you find an empty baggie, or a beer bottle? Did you find a franga in the toilet bowl? is that what it is? Am I a pervert now?”

Marie started to cry.

“Oh come on Marie. You know I know you guys are just looking out for me. Please don't cry.”

Zach started to talk and then stopped.

“Come on Zach, spit it out.”

“I don’t know if I can, this was a mistake. You know what forget about it.”

“Well I cant forget about it now can I? Come on, tell me what I’ve done, I swear I’ll never do it here again.”

“It’s always f*****g about you isn't it James!” I’d never heard Marie swear before.

The living room was even more quiet and sterile than before.

“You know what? F**k this, you guys are too weird. When I rented the room I wanted a place to live, maybe even some new friends to drink a beer with on the weekend. I shouldn't have to feel bad about bringing girls home or drinking a beer just because I don't meet your standards. I’ll move my s**t out as soon as I find a new place. Jesus Christ. Oh and one other thing. Don't you think its weird that she stays over all the time but doesn't ‘live’ here Zach? I mean do you think the big guy is looking for a technical distinction? Do you think he cares if you're on the lease Marie? He’s talking about f*****g, Zach. About you two, f*****g. You guys are unbelievable.’

I stormed upstairs and out onto the balcony and started to think of an apology. I never loose my temper like that, and at Zach and Marie too, I felt like I’d just punched a puppy. What had I done to make her cry like that? I tried the hardest I had ever tried in a share house to be courteous and mind myself. Always washed the dishes. Never late on rent. Always be friendly (except when they’d sit me down for our little chats). Never too noisey. I really liked them, but these interventions to save my soul were so goddamn, so goddamn f*****g retarded.

Zach walked into my room out onto the balcony and asked me for a cigarette.

‘You’ve got to be kidding me. What are you gonna do with a cigarette?’

‘I’m going to smoke it. Marie’s pregnant man. We don't know what to do, we don't know who to tell. God I’m not even sure if I love her. Give me the cigarette, please.’

Reviews

[David R Gonzalez]

This is a captivating story. The ending is kind of given away when Zach says "It’s always f*****g about you isn't it James." Still it keeps the reader engaged throughout.

[Edward Matheson]

Thanks David, I know what you mean. For me it was a choice between making the story deliberately obscure or a little bit obvious. But glad you enjoyed it!