Primal Joy

I've forgotten

Whilst starving through opaque consequence

I've forgotten

As I steadily continue my endless battle towards aspiration

Any sort to scavenge, I desperately throw my reach to grasp

Unsuccessful, I chance, my soul, my gambling chip

I've forgotten

My childhood, the good times of past

I've forgotten lost full bloom happiness

 

Ugh; the beauteous bliss

Bare as I indulge

 

The feeling coincides with empty obligation

True sight within perfect memory, without complication

That atmosphere, remember?

       Trees sway away from blankets of breeze

       Rolling in waves through long grass and stalks of corn

       Complimenting the toasty dusk sun

       As it sets, breath is to seize

 

This feeling has been seen to harvest itself when their is ample attention

Namely sex

It must be some sort of complex

        Adrenaline pride

        Sewer musk refills your lungs

        Alone with hunger

        Depression it sings

 

This feeling coincides along with romance and is hard to miss

Dormant then awaken from another or even the mere thought of another

It could be hidden however it could also be unleashed from even the smallest kiss...

         Trapped in childhood

         Full grown reliving friendships

         Adventures in green

         A thimble, the remembrance totem

         A life to redeem

 

Ohh, can you see it? Feel it?

Everlasting youth, a primal joy?

Giddy beyond depression

A way out of our self-inscribed ploy

The consequence razored on your stomach

Which banishes the freedom to gratify your own senses

 

Ohh hmm...I've forgotten...

This feeling of happiness

Ive forgotten

The most magnificent, nostalgic, vividly magnetic joy

 

Ironically it reincarnated when I was submitted and immersed into the deepest blackness of mind

I; lost and aging

It must have been a present from pity

It must have been mercy

Must've been a last resort or perhaps a last defense

Before all happiness died

This...

It lasted only ten minutes...

 

Veins bulging in eyelids

Blank face and eyes in space

On my knees, death of thought

Fears own anxiety

Me, Alzheimer's Disease