Absent

 

 

 

Thinking and self awareness is wisdom in itself I believe

Tools to give an endless growth of self taught knowledge

Which also spawns the feelings many people leave out

This feeling will be the first that I pick to let out

…

It could set in a room

Where a party is taking place

All noise vanquishes from my ears

And you see me act strange

Eyes open, no expression

With pondering that turns to quite rage

Seeing my unnerving feeling emerge

 

The feeling that

Sometimes

I am content being absent from all types of converse

Completely dislodged

And absent from your universe

 

This enclave in my mind started this overbuilt sense of absence

Some say I’m smart

But I think I just pay attention to reoccurrences

 

It could set in a classroom

Third floor

With grey black tile and wood desk chairs

Ingrained with specks of dirt

That become visible

As kindling noon light

Gets shared by the nine thin windows on the right

A room filled with under sweaty transparent souls

Then this unnerving feeling emerges then grows

 

Even though I have very few

Sometimes

I feel like not having any friends at all

Sometimes I

Want

To be forever alone

Feeling like their is no consequence to what I say

Lots of times

I daydream that everyone

Could just go away

Without any care from me

Without any startle that you may hope to see

I feel sometimes

Content being absent from all types of converse

Completely dislodged

And absent from your universe

 

Reviews

[Ravenskald]

unstructured, but i think it goes with the subject matter
moving from idead to idea , thoughts stopping and starting
with the underlying reason, the uncomprejhension almost disbelief occurs

"Completely dislodged
And absent from your universe"

interesting

R

[linley{luu}]

The way this was structured kind of lost me a bit; I had to go back and read some parts. But it was very emotional, and I can quite relate. Even though I got lost, I got sucked in to being lost. I like works that have the power to do that, and this one certainly did. I enjoyed it.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Hmmm....This was very raw I guess..
Though the plot was interesting but the structure was not lucid :)
I guess, you should work on the structure of this piece..
Though, it was a great work and I enjoyed reading it :)