One More Minute, Please

I woke up to your touch. Your fingers were gently caressing my cheek and your eyes were smiling just as softly. The warmth of the sheets along with the sensations of your calloused hand was hypnotizing, and I felt myself dozing off again. 

You said my name, but I was so comfortable that all I could manage was a slight raise of my eyebrows and a strange, muffled sound that suggested I was listening. I loved you, but I loved sleep too. 

My breathing was just starting to slow back into a steady pace when you spoke again.

"It's Sunday." 

My eyes shot open. Has it already been two weeks? Surely we had a couple more days together.... But one look at your face was all the confirmation I needed. Your eyes had the same pain that must have been in mine. You were leaving. Again. 

I watched as you reluctantly pulled away, swinging your legs over to the side of the bed so your back faced me. My eyes fell on the tattoo between your shoulder blades - my hand followed. You looked over at the unexpected touch of my hand, but didn't move otherwise. I traced the inked wings of the eagle down to the gun and the trident it was carrying - the SEAL Trident. You wore it proudly, and it looked beautiful, but it made me sad. 

You turned around as you felt my fingers lingering and I fought the urge to cry. I hated crying in front of you whenever you had to leave like this. We both knew that your passion for the Navy SEALs would eventually become more than just an aspiration, and that it would leave little time for us. We were both prepared. I respected your decision despite the sacrifices. I respected your honor, your courage, your commitment. I respected your comrades that you'd come home telling me about - the funny stories and the sad ones... 

 "You're so strong," I heard you say. 

I felt something wet hit my arm, followed by your thumb wiping away a line of tears I had been trying so desperately to hold back. 

"I'm a mess," I responded, swatting at your hand. 

You chuckled and shook your head. "You're beautiful." 

I let out a silly giggle I saved only for you and took your face in my hands. You still had a boyish face, but your eyes reflected the maturity of the young man and soldier you were. I kissed you softly, just grazing your lips. 

I wanted to be selfish. I wanted to keep you here in our bed, safe, away from the war and the inevitable injuries. I wanted to continue to wake up to your face every morning. I wanted to make you dinner and watch TV cuddled on the couch. 

Instead, I would pour you a bowl of cereal, drive you to the airport, and say goodbye once again. I would watch your flight leave, drive myself back home, wash your bowl, and continue living a life with it's daily struggles and routines.

But before that, I took one more minute of your time to enjoy your scent and embrace - to allow myself one more minute of sleep before I had to open my eyes again.