A Light

A man once talked of a light that never went out
It stays lit, no matter how unwanted
The knife twists, rips, leaving a gash long after it is gone.
A painful reminder, a chilling, foreboding omen
Challenging me to leave my shell open to another assault.
And yet, that light will extinguish for no one.

Everything can kill, everything can hurt
Even the most beautiful roses are thorny and harsh.
They sting and scratch the fools who try to pluck them.
As if punishing the brazen arrogance
Of believing that they were worthy of such wonder.
The light, the siren's call, persists nonetheless.

In the minefield of memory, pain comes in waves
A kiss, a whisper, a coo.
Returns a foolish lover to a time when he once had a purpose
Forgotten like a majestic castle of a bygone age.
No less beautiful, but tragic and forlorn for its loss.
But, there is a light in the window
That one persistent light that reminds of joys passed.

So I walk, knife in my side,
Driving it further if I can't remember the sting
As if the need to recall overwhelms the fear of the pain
Like an addict, the cure kills but the need is worse.
As if I would rather feel that pain than the nothingness that awaits
And the light, blood red and faint,
Flickers in its defiance.

I want to go back, but the bridge has been raised, the choice, made.
So on I'll walk
With the light in my eyes,
And the knife in my side.
And I pray to the god I barely believe for an end to the suffering
For another to take your place in my dreams
For the knife to be removed and the light,
Put out forever.