Fence Hopping

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. But only one man leaps over greatness like the tiny, plastic fence of a toy dollhouse.

Fence Hopping

            Once upon a time there was a wee little orphan boy who was used as a child slave.  One day, as he passed a storefront on his way to pick mushrooms in the forest, he caught a glimpse of the television within.  On the screen was a happy family drinking Ovaltine.  Just when he was about to sulk away, as is typical of poor little enslaved orphan boys, the Olympics came on.  He saw the athletes jumping high up into the sky, and it was simply breathtaking.

            Henceforth, jumping was all he could think about.  He practiced all day, dreaming of being in the Olympics himself.  Within a few years, he could jump two and a half meters in the air.  But if he got a running start (wink), he could go even higher.

            When he turned eighteen, he was no longer to be used for slavery as he was an adult.  He decided to go leaping for joy, hopping about, shouting never before heard profanities, and being his own man.  He discovered that jumping over fences was all he ever wanted to do. 

            One day he saw a very large fence, and felt compelled to jump from one side of the fence to the other.  The fence was very, very tall (wink) and had barbed wire spirals around the top.  He felt that his entire life was leading up to the this moment when he would become… THE ULTIMATE FENCE HOPPER!

            He stood back a hundred meters from the fence and got a running start.  Using perfect form, he sprinted closer and closer and leapt, flying majestically, and soaring over the fence.

            Upon landing, he saw humongous feet approaching him.  He looked up to see a rather large muscular man wearing inmate clothing standing in front of him. 

            Fence Hopper was not afraid.  He stood tall and knew that if he took a swing at him, he could just hop over him like a fence.  The man, however, looked menacingly at him and said, “’Sup, foo’?”

            “Why nothing at all, dawg.”

            “I’m not yo’ dawg, foo’!  I’ma beat you fo’ dat!” The man brought his arm back to punch Fence Hopper.  However, with a mighty leap, he soared over the man and landed gracefully behind him.

            “I say, you are quite the passionate fellow!  You know, you could use that passion toward something productive,” Fence Hopper told him.

            “Whatchyou talkin’ ‘bout?” the man asked, turning around.

            “If you really applied yourself, you could be quite successful.”

            The man burst into tears.  “No one’s ever told me dat before,” he said through his sobs.

            Fence Hopper placed a calming hand on the man’s shuddering shoulder.  The man grabbed him up in a great bear hug, soaking him in tears and nearly suffocating him.  Fence Hopper, having spent years as a child slave (wink), was not deterred by this unpleasantness. 

            The man introduced himself as Free Willy.  Fence Hopper and Free Willy sat and had an in-depth, emotional discussion about the future and Willy’s potential.  Fence Hopper told him that it was possible for him to achieve his life-long dream, which was to become a florist.

            Soon a group of other inmates approached them aggressively.  There were twisted scowls on their faces and their every step was a stomp.  “Who dat?” the leader inquired.

            Willy stood and towered over them as he eagerly replied, “M’ new home slice!”

            Bemused, Fence Hopper smirked at his new bodyguard. 

            The gang glared threateningly and made killing motions toward Fence Hopper, ignoring Willy.  “Let’s take him out, homies.  He don’t belong here.  I ain’t had fresh meat in ages.”

            Free Willy, the whale of a man he was, reared back and tackled three men at once.  The he got up and took the remaining out like bowling pins.  Then he stood over them, preparing to stomp their skulls in. 

            “Willy!  Flowery dreams are not achieved with blood and guts!” Fence Hopper interjected.  Willy stopped in his tracks.

            “Thank you!” a man gasped from the ground. 

            “’Tis not a problem.  Have you ever considered that you might be able to acquire more gang members if you were a little more friendly to newcomers?” asked Fence Hopper.

            “I guess I never thought of it that way.  You pretty smart, man.  You wanna join?”

            “Oh, no, I couldn’t.  I’m not really gang material, you see.  Besides I will be leaving shortly.”

ONE MONTH LATER

            “Alright, we’ve made a lot of progress today.  And Crusher, it was so brave of you to open up like that.  But that’s all for today.  Have a great night!”  Fence Hopper got up, dismissing the men sitting cross-legged in a circle around him.

            “Yo, wait up, man!” someone called to him from behind.  He turned to see a man named Jimmy the Strangler running toward him.

            “Yes, Jimmy?”

            “Uh, I thought maybe you could talk with me private.  I don’t like talkin’ in front of all them people.”

            “Yes, of course, Jimmy.  Let us go forth and chat beneath yonder oak,” Fence Hopper said, leading him to the tree.  He was used to requests like this, as he had become something of a prison yard therapist over the past month.  No one, not even the guards, minded his presence, as he helped everyone with their problems.

            They sat beneath the tree.  “What was it you wanted to talk about, Jimmy?”

            “I just… I’m sick of bein’ called Jimmy the Strangler.  I haven’t strangled nobody in years!”

            “But why does the name bother you?  Surely it’s more than just inaccuracy that’s troubling you.”

            “I guess… maybe I want people to know me for more than just strangling.  I… I’m not proud of that part of my life no more.”

            “But you used to be proud of it?”

            “I… no.  No, I was never proud.  Even when I was doin’ it I wasn’t proud.”

            “So why did you do it?”

            “I guess… I didn’t know what else to do.  Them people was makin’ me mad, so I just strangled ‘em. I was just a kid.  I didn’t really know what I was doin’.  And I grew up in a ‘hood where stuff like that happened all the time.  But I ain’t proud.  I wish someone had stopped me.”

            “You wish…” Fence Hopper trailed off in thought for a moment.  The he finished his discussion with Jimmy, who thanked him and ran off in tears, but Fence Hopper remained under the oak tree. 

            He looked around the yard.  So much had changed since he had arrived.  The number of fights was at an all-time low.  Gangs were less hostile toward each other.  And it seemed that everyone was working toward a dream of theirs, like how Stabby Joe had switched his knives for some paint brushes, hoping to one day become a professional artist. 

These people didn’t need him anymore.  There were so many more people in the world who needed help.  He could go stop kids like Jimmy from making the biggest mistakes of their lives.  And he could save the lives of their potential victims.

Fence Hopper got up and left the shade of the oak tree.  He walked around the yard saying his goodbyes.  Many tears were shed, and Fence Hopper promised to come visit.  When he reached Free Willy, he was wrapped up in another bone crushing hug.  Then Willy finally let go, giving Fence Hopper a bouquet of flowers he had picked.

“Thank you, Willy,” he said.  “They’re lovely.”  He was surprised to find himself getting choked up as he faced the crowd of prisoners and guards.  “Thank you, everyone.  I have learned something from each one of you.  Goodbye.” 

Everyone shouted goodbye and waved as Fence Hopper soared over the prison fence. 

Once he landed outside, he looked back at the fence.  He would miss that place.  But there was so much work for him to do elsewhere.

Fence Hopper jumped away, eager to see what other adventures awaited him.

 

THE END (wink)

                       

Author's Note

Another masterpiece by TheMostSplendiferous and Selkietales.

Reviews

[Hester Vane]

Very cool idea! And of course love the wink at the end!

[selkietales]

Yes! I love the ending wink ;)