The Capitalizing Nature of Ventursome Vultures

Vultures Jack-o and Zack-o muse over the plight of Humanity, and Citizen's United.

The Capitalizing Nature of Vultures

A large, dark Bird circled the big dead tree, and landed on one of its skeletal branches.

“Hey there, Jack-o.”

Another similar large dark Bird, already napping on another petrified branch of the same tree yawned, and stretching its long, feathery wings said, “Long time no see, Cousin Zack-o. How’s Maggie ?”

“Fine, fine. Maggie’s back at the Nest with our newest Fledglings,” Zack-o answered proudly. “How’s Peg-Leg ?”

“Congratulations on the new Fledglings, Cuz. Peg-Leg’s hoppin’ right along, busy as ever. We just hatched two more young’uns ourselves.”

“Good, good. You here for the Automobile Pile-Up on the highway,

Jack-o ?”

“Yep, yep. Spotted it mid-circle, and thought I’d check it out. Never can tell, sometimes the Human ambulances leave some tasty little morsels behind.” Zack-o smacked his razor sharp beak at the mere thought of rotting road kill.

Cousin Jack-o, clicked his large raptor beak together and said, “Parts is parts.”

Cousin Zack-o chuckled, “You old Buzzard, you.”

Nope, nope. I’m a great American Vulture,” Jack-o replied spreading his black wings out as far as they would stretch.

“An American Vulture, huh ? Well, Humans don’t take kindly to Vultures these days. Particularly if they’re Vulture Capitalists, tee-hee-hee.”

“Vulture Capitalists ?”

“Yep. But I say, someone’s gotta fly in and clean up the messy, stinkin’ carcass after a Critter’s been killed off.”

“What kind of Critters do Vulture Capitalists eat ? “

“Somethin’ the Humans call Companies.”

“Never heard of that Critter before. Sounds big. Is it akin to a Dead Blue Mule or a Dead Red Elephant ?”

“Dunno. Anyway, this Vulture is focused on Capitalizin’ on the auto pile up out yonder. Just take a gander at all of those goose-neckers down there. Can’t keep their eyes off of the blood and gore. The Humans are fascinated by it.

“Did you see what caused the crash, Cousin Zack-o ?

“Sure did. Two great, big eighteen-wheelers, both goin’ opposite directions. The two of ’em just all of a sudden swerved into one another’s lanes, and drove straight at one another. And Ka-bloowie ! They ran head-on right smack dab into one another. Stopped traffic for miles on up the highway. Even caused a few other fender benders and major crashes up and down the highway out there. It was quite a sight,” recounted Cousin Jack-o.

“I spy names painted on the sides of what’s left of both big rigs.” Zack-o mused.

“Yep, one’s named Citizen’s United and the other’s named People/Sheeple Power,” Jack-o observed.

“I heard some Humans discussing somethin’ called Citizen’s United when I was circlin’ overhead not too far from here some time last week,“ Zack-o offered.

“The Human was downright mad ! Woowie ! He was shakin’ his fists in the air and telling’ the other Humans listenin’ to him, that the Nine Judges of Supreme Court of these United States were supposed to be the Wisest and Best Minds of the Land.”

“The Human ranted about how the Nine Judges should have thought their decision all the way through to its logical Cause, Effect and dire Consequences. It’s eventual Outcome.”

“Another one of the Human’s buddies chimed in sayin’ that America’s Democratic Republic had been sold out to the highest bidders - the millionaires, billionaires, trillionaires and zillionaires of the Nation, and the Whole Wide World. That anyone with the right amount of money could buy each and every election now without any Checks or Balances to stop ‘em.”

“Whew ! That’s a worrisome beak full, Cousin Zack-o. Sounds like the Human Supreme Court Judges became a murder of murderous Crows instead of Nine Great American Eagles. Looks like they betrayed America with a decision that will slowly kill that critter you called a Democratic Republic. I sure do feel sorry for that critter. I wouldn’t wanna be sittin’ on its perch right now, cause it’s about to get its wings clipped and get shoved right off of it.”

“Wonder how all of this is gonna affect us, Jack-o ? The group of Humans I heard havin’ this conversation were mighty riled up. Another one of ’em shouted that the Supreme Court had opened the flood gates - allowin’ somethin’ he called a tsunami of nuclear radioactive trash talk and trash funds to come roarin’ into the American Democratic System that would end Democracy as We the People/Sheeple, and Birds of a Feather, know it.” Zack-o paused and winked at his Cousin Jack-o sayin’, “I just thought I’d add us patriotic Birds of a Feather in there, hee-hee.”

“Gotcha’ Cuz, hee-hee.” Jack-o returned his Cousin’s wink.

“Then another one of the Humans got all religious, and claimed that the Thieves and Money-Changers were taking over the Temple, and that there was no one around to overturn their greed laden Tables. Not one thing to stop the onslaught of Corporate Feudalism and Banking Fascism but the Middle Class’ and the Poor Class’ Vote.”

“That’s so, Cuz. The Human was speakin’ the Truth there,” Jack-o agreed.

“Well Cuz, now hold on there, because another one of the Humans said that he was a’feared that State by State, Republican governor, by Republican legislature that We the People’s/Sheeple’s, and Birds of a Feather’s Voting Rights are being stripped naked as Jay Birds, and made useless, and Voiceless.”

“This is America, Zack-o ! How can that be ?”

“Well, this human was somethin’ called a lawyer, and he claimed that the opposin’ team was doin’ it through the Laws of the Land. He went on to say that when some feller by the name of Hitler wanted to destroy the Jews he first attacked them through subverting and perverting the Laws of the Country.”

“The lawyer feller said that this other feller, Hitler, had his Minions create Laws and secret activities prohibiting Jews to Vote - to own their own businesses - to own their own homes - to procreate (that means to have fledglings, Cuz) - to marry outside of their Race - to marry - to Breathe - to Live…”

“This Cat Bird, Hitler stripped the Jews and Immigrants of their Basic Rights, and ability to Vote, just like the Republican Governors and Republican run legislatures are doin’ all over America, in the name of patriotic zeal and love of the Mother/Fatherland.”

“Whew ! That was a awful scarey mouthful, Cuz. You sure you heard all of that right ?”

“Yeah, unfortunately, Cuz, pretty much word for word,” sighed Zack-o.

“All of the Humans were worried and upset, Cuz. Another one of ‘em said that the Murder of Nine Crows were responsible for selling America down the River of No Checks and Balances in a very leaky Vessel. And that they were one of the Systems within the Democratic Republic that was drillin’ holes in the Vessel. Then he yelled, We Blink - We’ll Sink - We’re in the Drink ! Oh say can you See, by the dawn’s early Light the Elitists Schemes and America’s plight !”

“Those are strong words, Cuz.”

“You better believe it, Cuz. I told you, these Humans were rip roarin’ riled up. And that’s not all they yelled about. One of the other Humans who had been pretty quiet up until then said that behind the Mask of Free Enterprise and Good Business Practices, and the falsely machinated Crisis of the National and World Debt by the Mega-Banks, Money-Changing-Wheelers-and-Dealers, Mega Corporations and Elitist Oligarchs, were all conjured up for We the People/Sheeple’s, and Birds of a Feather’s, horror movie propagandized entertainment and fear mongering Worldwide.”

“This Human also claimed that the Oligarchs, the Corporate Feudalistic Lords and Ladies, and Banking Moguls are no longer undermining and enslaving the Middle Class and the Poor in secret and through subterfuge. But that They were doin’ it right out in the open - in the Light of Day, now. And that We the People/Sheeple, and Birds of a Feather, are allowin’ them to do it, because the Elitists - the 1%er’s are wrappin’ their malcontent and slow actin’ venom into We the People’s/Sheeple’s, and Birds of a Feather’s National Flags, Patriotism, Powerful Historical Stories and Heroes, Ideals of Fiscal Responsibility and Accountability connected to Life, Freedom, Liberty, and the ever popular pursuit of Happiness.”

“Why would these 1%er’s do all of this, Zack-o ?”

“They’re doin’ all of this, and have been doin’ it for a very long time, to Manipulate We the People/Sheeple, and Birds of a Feather, into apathetic placation and false expectations. And it’s working,
Cuz. It’s working ! They create the Chaos and Fear, and then step in later on down the road as the indispensable Saviors of the World, and in control of everything, because We the People/Sheeple, and Birds of a Feather, will hand (or wing) it right over to ’em.”

“To think that all of this is hidden behind Men and Women in Suits, and helped right along by a once trusted and revered Murder of Nine Crows,” Zack-o announced disapprovingly. “Incredible ! Down right incredible !”

“Yep, Cousin Jack-o, incredible. The Men and Women in Suits with the Sacred Numerology of the World Banks in their arsenal are Working night and day to do away with Collective Bargaining Rights and Unions - the Voice of the Workers of America and every Nation. They’re slicin’ and dicin’ Public Programs (education, teachers, policemen, firefighters, the health care systems etc…) that benefit the Working Class and the Poor, and Everyone else for that matter. The 1%er’s intend to continue to stagnate wages and earnings for the Middle Class and the Poor, because that, too, keeps the People/Sheeple, and Birds of a Feather, under their suffocating Wings.”

“Heck, the 1%er’s and the Republican party that they’re usin’ for their vehicle in America this time around through the Citizen’s United’s Super Packs, are even stirrin’ up the Religious folks all around the country. Has something’ to do with Contraception.”

“What’s that, Cuz.”

“It’s something’ the Humans do so that they won’t have fledgings. Makes ’em infertile.”

“Why would anyone do that, Cuz ?”

“Somethin’ about a Female’s Freedom of Choice, not havin’ enough money to have ’em and tryin’ to be fiscally responsible to the community or something’ real bad called rape or incest. Reasons like that.”

“That’s way over my bald head, Zack-o.”

“Mine, too, Jack-o. Humans sure a complicated and confusin’ species. In fact, one of the major Church’s leadin’ the charge against a Human Female’s Right to Choose is the Catholic Church.”

“That’s the one that has priests and nuns isn’t it, Zack-o ?”

“Think you’re right about that one, Jack-o.”

“Why, Cousin, priests and nuns aren’t supposed to do anything to have fledglings.”

“Right again, Cuz. Now, I call that Philosophical/Theological Contraception, hee-hee.”

How so, Cuz ?” Jack-o asked, clearly perplexed.

“ ’Cause, if you’re not Doin’ It, you’re not Havin’ It, Cuz. Just that simple. Egg before the Vulture, Jack-o. That’s just a little Vulture Philosophy. No little squigglies scrootchin’ up to any little Eggs, and no one’s getting’ little vultures with flappin’ little wings and wrinkled little legs. Haw- haw !”

“Haw ! That’s a good one, Cuz That’s what they should tell all of their congregations. Then the Contraception thing won’t be any big deal at all. Just have all of the Catholics and Religious folks practice Philosophical/Theological Contraception. Is there another shorter word for all of that, Cuz “

“Sure is, Cuz. It’s called Celibacy.”

“Sounds reasonable to me. Then all of the arguments about birthin’ will stop.”

“Maybe, Cuz, maybe. Somethin’ tells me that in this case that what’s good for the Goose is not always good for the Gander. Haw !”

“Guess it’s about time to mosey on back to the nest, Cuz. ‘Ole Maggie will be screechin’ for me. The Citizen’s - oops - the Billionaire’s United and People/Sheeple Power’s leftovers will just have wait for another day.”

“You’re right about that, Cuz. My Peg-Leg will have my tail-feathers if I don’t get back to the Nest with some sort of vittles for those new fledglings of ours. That wreck was so big, it’ll take the Humans quite some time to clean it up.”

“I think the I saw the bloated carcass of some unlucky cow in a pasture not too far from here. Wanna check it out ? Like you, I hate to go home empty beaked. I’ll never hear the end of it from sweet Maggie.”

‘I’m right behind ya, Zack-o.”

“Tally-ho, and away We Venturing United Birds of a Feather go, Jack-o.”

With a whoosh of their great wings, the two dark birds flew away toward the setting sun leaving the Human wreckage, and the skeletal dead tree behind. Vultures, who would eventually capitalize on the rotten leftovers - the tasty morsels of Citizen’s (Millionaires-Billionaires) United’s and People/Sheeple Power’s devastatingly explosive Collision at another time.