Those Cotton Pickin' Drug Wars - Drug Games !

Ma and Pa Mockingbird teach their son Chick about the peculiar ways of Humans and their uses and misusages of Drugs.

“Chick, Chick ! Come quick !” Ma Mockingbird squawked at her eldest son, Chick Mockingbird.

“What is it, Ma ?”

“It’s Pa ! It’s your Pa ! Someone threw him on a smoker or he’s goin’ up in flames by spontaneous combustion !”

Pa Mockingbird coughed on thick smoke swirling from his wide open beak. “Hold onto your tail-feathers, Ma. I am not spontaneously combustin’, and I am the smoker. I’m smoking’ grapevine.”

“What ?” Ma Mockingbird exclaimed. “Grapevine ?! And just where did you get the fire to light that dad burn grapevine with, Pa ?”

“Why from some human young’uns down below. They were smokin’ grapevine and got caught by some older human. Sounded like their Pa. The older human yelled at the young’uns, and told them to get straight home, and go to their rooms. He grounded ’em. Those young’uns won’t be flyin’ out of the Nest any time soon,” Pa Mockingbird chuckled and choked.

“If the Pa human told the young’uns that smokin’ grapevine’s no good for ‘em, then why are you smoking’ that vine ?” Ma Mockingbird demanded. “Why are you behaving’ like a bird-brain ?”

“I’m no run of the mill bird-brain, Ma. I’m experimentin’. I wanna know what all the fuss is about. (wheeze, cough) I wanna know why the Humans are so willin’ to get into so much trouble over somethin’ everyone says is so bad for ’em. (cough, wheeze) Where’s that hollowed out pecan shell I was drinkin’ water out of ? It’s getting’ so smokey my eyes are tearin’ up. I can barely see a thing.”

“You old Fool,” Ma Mockingbird sputtered, as she winged Pa’s water over to him. “What are you teachin’ your son ?”

“Curiosity is a good thing, Ma,” Pa Mockingbird retorted. “I’m teachin’ Chick not to fear his Curiosity or his adventurous thirst for Knowledge. (cough, wheeze)”

“I agree with those Life Lessons, but willingly fillin’ your lungs with smoke is not a Life‘s Lesson I would choose to teach him. We’ve been caught in wild fires before, Pa. I didn’t notice you stickin’ around to inhale your Curiosity then,” Ma Mockingbird said sarcastically. “Why are you so Curious about what Humans smoke anyway ?”

Chick Mockingbird was wisely keeping his beak shut. He knew better than to get between his Ma and Pa’s arguing.

Pa Mockingbird, coughed out his last puff of smoke. “Alright, alright, Ma. I’m done smokin’ that stinkin’ weed anyway. As for why I was Curious about it, you can blame the Humans.

“Are you gonna blame the Humans for everything, Pa ?’ Ma Mockingbird harrumphed.

“No, not everything. Anyhow, I overheard the Human Dominoes Gang talkin’ about the Drug Wars. They were arguin’ about all of the Cotton Pickin’ Drugs that Humans consume, and the Drug Games all of the Humans play with one another so that they can ‘get high‘ on Drugs, Money and Power.”

“How do Humans consume these things called Drugs, Money and Power, Pa? Other than smokin’ and chokin’ themselves silly, “ Ma Mockingbird queried.

“Well, Ma, I recollect that the Humans drink a Drug they call Alcohol, they smoke somethin’ called Tobacco, Mary Jane, and Crack, they inject Horse, snort Coke, and oh yeah, they even eat some of their Drugs. They eat Mary Jane in chocolate brownies and munch on Cow Patty Mushrooms.”

“Cow Patty Mushrooms ?” Ma Mockingbird wrinkled her beak in distaste.

“Yep, you heard me right, Ma.”

“Why do these strange Drugs cause War ?”

“Well, it appears that the folks along the southern border states of America are at War with somethin’ they call Drug Cartels from different countries down further South. The Human Dominoes Gang is really upset about these Drug Cartels sneakin’ Drugs illegally into some place they called ‘the rest of America and the World’.”

“Pa, what’s wrong with you ? Your eyes just crossed and your wobblin’ all around on your limb. If you’re not careful you’ll fall right off of your perch.” Chick interjected.

“Why Chick, I think I’m experiencin’ what the Humans call “a high”.

“Well, Pa, yes, we are high up in this old pecan tree, but we’re Mockingbirds. We’re almost always perched high,” Chick offered.

No, son, I mean high off of this grapevine I’ve been huffin’ and puffin’ on. Lord knows, I’ll never do that again. I feel downright dizzy and queasy. In fact, I feel those grub worms I ate for breakfast this mornin’ crawlin’ back up my craw.”

“I think I’ll just lean against the bark of this ‘ole pecan tree while we chew the fat.” Pa Mockingbird stumbled from his perch, and staggered into the trunk of the tree landing soundly on his bottom with his legs straddled wide.

“Why are the Drug Cartels so bad, Pa ?” Ma Mockingbird persisted.

“Because according to the Human Dominoes Gang they’re violent, Ma. Mean, violent and greedy. Hungry for somethin’ they call Power. Power they buy with little pieces of paper called Money. And they’ll do whatever they feel they have to, to get it and hang onto it.” Pa Mockingbird got up onto his feet and leaned against the pecan tree. “There, that’s better.”

“The Human Dominoes Gang said that the Drug Cartels shoot and blow other Humans to smithereens. They even chop Human heads off of their corpses to scare the feathers off of other Humans. Just like the Hunters do to the coyotes in these parts to send a message.”

“Humans don’t have feathers, Pa.” Ma Mockingbird sighed. “They’re mammals. They’re covered with hair.”

“Well, excuse me.” Pa quipped querulously. “I stand corrected. They chop the heads, and other body parts, off of Humans to scare the hair right off of the hide of other Humans who might want to tattle on ’em or stand against them.”

“Let’s get back to this Drug Cartel War thing you heard the Human Dominoes Gang talkin’ about, Pa.”

“Oh there’s more than just Drug Cartels, Ma. There’s Drug Pushers and Drug Users as well. Human Society is at War with all of ‘em.” Pa Mockingbird declared.

“But I see lots of Humans drinkin’ somethin’ they call Beer and smokin’ fire sticks they call Cigarettes all of the time, Pa.”

“Well, now, Ma, Alcohol and Cigarettes are called Legal Drugs. It appears that Humans have decided that some Drugs are Legal and others are not.”

“Why, that’s just ridiculous ! What’s the difference between them and all of the other Drugs you mentioned ? They’re all Drugs that can do harm to Others aren’t they ?”

“Got me, Ma. But that’s the way the Humans look at it.”

“Humans certainly are a peculiar species of animal. They are truly some very strange and perplexin’ creatures,“ Ma Mockingbird shook her head in questioning disbelief.

“That’s a Fact Exactual, Ma,” Pa Mockingbird agreed.

“From what I’ve observed, Pa, all of the Drugs used by the Humans can do harm Physically, Psychologically and Socially when they’re not used in Moderation.”

“Moderation is the Key. Why, if I flew around eatin’ big, fat, earthworms all day long, I’d be so fat I couldn’t get my rear off of the ground. I’d be grounded. I’d be fair game for every Predator in these woods. Drug Cartels sound like Predators to me.”

“Yes, Moderation or Abstinence are the Keys to everything we Do in Life - Bird and Human alike. That’s just plain Common Sense.”

“Why, it’s just pure hypocrisy to declare one Drug Legal over another one. They’re all potentially very dangerous and destructive.”

“Why do Humans say that one Drug is more Legal than another Drug, Pa ?”

Well, Ma, once again it’s all about that thing they call EmPowerment and the Money that they think buys it. The Humans in Power decide where the Money is going to be spent. They tell other Humans in Power which Drugs are Legal and which are not, and pay them off in different ways in order to make sure that they see things their way.”

“The Human Dominoes Gang said that the Alcohol and Cigarette Empowered and Monied Humans lobby other Humans who work in a Big White House to make sure that their Drugs are the only Legal Drugs, because they don‘t like something called Competition with the other Drugs.”

“The Alcohol and Cigarette Drug Humans don’t want the other Drugs to be made Legal, because they’ll have to share and lose Money and Power.”

“The Alcohol and Cigarette Drug Humans Tax and Sell the Legal Drugs in Legal Stores all over America. But the Drug Cartels and Pushers sell Illegal Drugs on the sly creatin’ something called a Black Market or a’ Underground Market.”

“Inside this Black Market that‘s Underground, that all of the Humans are aware of and agree exists, the Humans make, move, push, sell and use all of their Illegal Drugs to their Hearts and Pocketbooks delight.”

“And the Court Systems, Legal Systems and Prison Systems get rich and profit off of the poor Drug Users who get caught, because the Drug Usin’ Humans are transformed into Criminals the minute they smoke, sniff, snort, inject or eat the Illegal Drugs that everyone knows exist and move in and out of the country like ticks on the back of a’ ole’ hound dog.”

“Are you sure you heard the Humans right, Pa ?”

“Sure am, Ma.”

“Then it appears to me that the most common sensical thing to do is for the Humans to do a better job of teaching their young Fledglings about the dangers and realities of Drugs.”

“The Human Parents, Schools, Churches and Leaders need to teach their Children better Self Control and Self Worth. Teach them about Moderation Self Restraint and Self and Social Responsibility.”

“Then take the things they call Power and Money out of the Drug Cartels and Drug Business by Legalizing all Drugs. Sell all Drugs in the Legal Stores. Tax all of the Drugs so that the Money and Power from Drug Use and Drug Users benefits Society at large, pays for all of the Healthcare issues the Drugs will probably create for some of the Humans, and makes Money for and EmPowers all of Human Society as a Whole.”

“Instead of Making Drug Users Social Outcasts and Failures, and the Drug Makers and Drug Pushers wealthy and powerful Businessmen, they should EmPower all Humans by allowing them to have the Freedom and Liberty to make their own decisions about what they do with their Minds, Bodies and Lives.”

“After a while the mean and violent Drug Cartels will just fizzle out, and have to figure out how to do Decent Work for a Decent Wage.”

“Yep, just Legalize them all and Hope for the best. Teach their Human Children Morals and Ethics. Give their Human Children the Gift of Strength of Character and Sound Decision Making. Give ‘em an Ethical Compass and Backbone. Then Hope for Good Choices, and the Use of just Good Common Sense and Self Discipline.”

“And Chick, if I ever catch you smokin’ grapevine like your Pa just did, I’ll pluck your tail feathers. Understand me, young Fledgling ?”

“Understood, Ma. I Choose to keep my tail feathers and my Dignity,” Chick acknowledged.

“Well, I don’t know about y’all, but I’m ready to get high,” declared Pa Mockingbird.

“What do you mean ‘get high’, Pa ? Didn’t you hear a word I just said about those cotton pickin’ Drug Wars and Drug Games ?”

“Sure did, Ma. That’s why I suggest we settle for a natural high. Let’s spread our wings and fly high into that bright blue Texas sky sparklin’ before our very eyes !”

With that said, the Mockingbird Family burst happily from the top of the ole’ pecan tree singing “Off we go over the wide, blue yonder…”