The Prosperity Preacher Man

prosperity, wealth, poverty, religion and politics, contraception, choice

 

 Welcome, young lady, welcome. So glad to meet you. What can I do for you today ?

Yes, Yes, I’m the Prosperity Preacher Man. But I wear this mantle with true humility, and thank God for his favor.

Well, by favor, I do not mean to suggest that God loves me more than any of his other children….

Well, yes, God, and my generous Church members, have helped me earn millions, and build a mansion, and several other homes around the United States. But, as I tell all my congregants, God wants all of his Children to Prosper. God wants all of his Children to live off of the Fat of Land - the Milk and Honey of the Land. He wants all of his Children to have a big piece of the Golden Calf. That’s why we built this huge cathedral - this auspicious House of God. In heavens name, God wants all of his followers to thrive and prosper in the Land of the Golden Calf.

Why no, most of my congregants are Middle Class or the Poor. But all they have to do is Pray more, and Do more for the Church, and for God, and they too, can and will enjoy the Bounties of the Lord’s Favor. Just as I do. I’m certain of it.

What’s that ? Why, yes, Moses did get very angry when he saw that his followers had created, and were worshipping the Golden Calf, while he was up on the Mount receiving God’s Ten Commandments.

Yes, you’re right again, young lady, he did get so crossways about his People cavorting and worshipping the Golden Calf that he broke the first Ten Commandments out of anger, and had to tramp right back up the Mount to get a second set of Ten Commandments from God.

Yes, yes, it’s true that God says that We shall have no other gods before Him. Yes, some might consider the ever consuming acquisition of lots of money, lots of material goods, things and toys, and constant self indulgence and self adulation idolizing the Golden Calf. But God wants us to Prosper…

Yes, I always keep my Bible with me, young woman. Why ?

Yes, I’m familiar with the Book of Mark. What chapter ? What verses ?
Chapter ten. and Verses: twenty-four through twenty-five and forty-two through forty-five ?

Yes, I can read God’s word aloud, “24 …Children, how hard is it for them that trust in riches to enter into the kingdom of God ! 25 It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. 42…Jesus called them (his disciples) and said to them, “ You know that among the Gentiles those whom they recognize as their Rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. 43 But it is not so among you; but whosoever wishes to become great among you must be your Servant, 44 and whosoever wishes to be First among you must be Slave of All. 45 For the son of Man came not to be Served but to Serve, and to give his Life as Ransom for Many.

Yes, I am the Church’s Leader. Yes, my congregants are my flock of sheep.

What do you mean by that, young lady ? Are you trying to insult me ? To cast aspersions on my good name ? To dishonor a Man of God ? A Preacher of Prosperity ?

Yes, my mansion honors me and my family. Yes, my bank accounts honor me and mine. Yes, my many homes and vacations honor me and my family. No, all of my riches, worldly goods and prosperity do not honor or uplift my Flock - my congregants, but God made me prosper. I had nothing to do with it. Praise be to God ! I am the Prosperity Preacher Man ! I am his Favored One. His Chosen One. I deserve everything God has given to me !

I Serve my congregants. How ? I Preach and Inspire them to Do Good Works, to Prosper, to vote Conservatively, and to be good Christians. Our Church feeds and gives some monies and temporary shelter to the poor and needy.

Why temporarily ? Well, We don’t want them taking advantage of Us. We don’t want them becoming dependent on Us.

Where do they go when they leave Us if their lot in Life does not improve ? Why to the Salvation Army or elsewhere. Those establishments have soup lines and warehouses for the poor and needy to sleep in for a while.

My congregants Faithfully follow my guidance - my ideologies. They read my books, listen to my audio-tapes, and view my cd’s. Everything I do is in God’s name. They know that, and because of that, they Serve me and my Church well. Excuse me, I meant to say that they Serve their Prosperity Preacher Man, their Church, and God well.

What ? Why are you asking the Prosperity Preacher Man about Equal and Fair Health Care for everyone in America ? What does that have to do with my Prosperity or my Message of Prosperity ?

Yes, yes, I am Pro-Life ! No, I do not believe that the Federal Government should be telling any Christian employer of Good Conscience that they must purchase Health Insurance for Women’s contraception. It violates our First Amendment Right. It violates Freedom of Religion.

Yes, I know where the Book of Luke is in my Bible. Chapter thirteen ? Verses ten through seventeen ? Alright, “10 And He was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. 11 And, behold, there was a woman which had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no wise lift up herself. 12 And when Jesus saw her, he called her to him, and said unto her, Woman thou art loosed from thine infirmity. 13 And He laid His hands on her and immediately she was made straight, and glorified God. 14 And the ruler of the synagogue answered with indignation, because that Jesus had healed on the Sabbath day, and said unto the people. There are six days in which men ought to work: in them therefore come and be healed, and not on the Sabbath day. 15 The Lord then answered him, and said, Thou hypocrite, doth not each one of you on the Sabbath loose his ox or his a*s from the stall, and lead him away to watering ? 16 And ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan hath bound, lo, these eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the Sabbath day ? 17 And when He had said these things, all his adversaries were ashamed: and all the people rejoiced for all the glorious things that were done by him.”

And your point is, young lady ?

What do you mean that manmade rules made by the Church do not take precedence over the Gifts of Healing and Compassionate Action ?

What do you mean that the Church needs to reconsider its views regarding a Woman’s right to Choose what happens to her Body - her Mind - her Life - her overall Health ? That like the ruler in the synagogue men like me are standing in the way of Women’s Healing and Health ?

How is preventing a Woman from taking contraceptives standing in the way of her Healing and Health ?

No, my wife and I would not have had six children if we could not have afforded to feed, clothe, shelter and educate them. That would have been IrResponsible and would have lacked Social Accountability.

What has this got to do with anything ? Your point is completely eluding me, young lady. God wants us to protect Life.

What do mean, then why do I support sending our Children - our sons and daughters off to War ? And why don’t I adopt one of the many unwanted, unloved and homeless orphans already existing in the World ? What do any of those things have to do with Contraception ?

Really, young lady, you make no sense, and I have had just about enough of this fruitless and confusing conversation.

My advice to you young Woman is that you Prosper and Multiply ! That’s what God, and the Church, would have you do. Amen and Halleluiah !