Frickin', Frackin', Let's Get Crackin' !

A quick and satirical overview (and underview) of the process of Fracking for natural gas.

Frickin’, Frackin’

Let’s Get Crackin’ !

 

Yo, Yo ! Heave Ho ! It’s off to Frack We go ! We’ll blow a Hole to Make some dough ! Yo, Yo ! Heave Ho !

 

Yes, a handful of Global Mega-Corp Moguls will run away hand-in-hand with the Global Mega-Banks, and with America’s “fruitful plains” Future, while trickle down (drip-dry) economics takes care of the tiny and meager Needs of America’s Peasants, Serfs, Slaves and other Sheeple. And they’ll call Crackin’ and Frackin’ America in half while destroying the fragile Balance/ImBalance of Our Tectonic Plates (cups and saucers), and poisoning Our underwater resources and reserves a “good and profitable thing for America” - a “good deal for short-term, but much needed jobs“, and short-term gains.

 

However, They’re all forgetting to Mention the long-term toxic and IrReplaceable losses.

 

What happened to America’s Farsighted Vision and EnVisioning ?

 

What in the Frick is Fracking ? A good question.

 

It’s a process in which a Well is drilled vertically to a desired (but undesirable) depth, and then takes a tricky 90 degree turn in order to continue horizontally for several thousand feet. The drill creating the venomous serpentine Well then sniffs out (while tearing up the Earth’s Crust for) Shale, which is rock believed to contain trapped Natural Gas.

 

How do the Mega-Corps and Mega-Banks get the Natural Gas out of the Shale ?

 

Their hardWorking Sheeple create a Toxic Mix of various Chemicals, Sand and Water, and then pump the Frickin’, Frackin’ Mixture into the Well at a very high pressure in order to create UnNatural Fissures in the Shale through which the Natural Gas escapes (hisssss !).

Then the UnNaturally and destructively obtained Natural Gas is drawn back up the Well to the Earth’s surface where it’s processed, refined and finally gets shipped out to Market.

 

The WasteWater (that’s right, there’s something that flows back and produced that’s called WasteWater) returns to the Earth’s Surface after the Frickin’ Frackin’ Process is completed. That is, unless some of the Toxic WasteWater gets trapped in the Rock surrounding the holey (not holy) Well Pipe and accidentally contaminates and poisons any existing underground Water resources and reserves (Ooops !).

 

In some locations the WasteWater is contained in steel tanks until the Toxic Mixture can be stored long-term (we Hope) by deep injection into existing Oil and Gas Waste Wells.

Isn’t that comforting and reassuring ?

 

During this Frickin’ Frackin’ Process drinking Water is poisoned, Air is polluted, Animals mysteriously die, and occasional industrial disasters and explosions sometimes occur. But We’re told that these mishaps are nothing to worry about (and perhaps imaginary), and should not hold Us back from creating Frickin’ Frackin’ Wells everywhere around the Globe. After all, We, the Sheeple, don’t want to stand (or bleat) in the way of Progress. Cha-Ching !

Frickin’ Frackin’ Wells go thousands of feet deeper into the Earth than traditional Gas Wells. Now, that’s impressive (as well as digestive - of the Earth’s precious Crust and Natural Resources, that is).

 

Also, the Process of creating Frickin’ Frackin’ Wells requires between two and five million gallons of local FreshWater per Well. But, never Fear, because that’s only 100 times more FreshWater than Our old traditional extraction methods required.

 

What’s wrong with Giving more in order to receive much less ?

 

How can We, the Sheeple, complain about the waste of our FreshWater being converted into Frickin’ Frackin’ WasteWater when We get paid to help Make it ?

 

Why should We, the Sheeple, complain or be concerned about the fact that the Toxic Frickin’ Frackin’ WasteWater Mix is filled with formaldehyde, acetic acids, citric acids, boric acids and 100’s of other contaminants, when there is so much money for the Mega-Corps and Mega-Banks to Make and Take from Us (for the Use of Their Frickin’ Frackin’ UnNaturally and Destructively begotten Natural Gases) ?

 

After all, Globally, All of Us are addicted to Oil and Natural Gas.

 

All of Us have Chosen not to Change over to, and Create, other types of Alternative Energies which We could All Use to more positively and productively Move and Shape the World We All Live in differently.

 

We have All Chosen to follow the Global Puppet Masters and their Greed and Need for more and more Power and Mooh-la.

 

The Puppet Masters (and Mistresses) cry and tantrum. They play manipulative Local, National and Global Psychological, Sociological, Political, Judicial, Religious and Economic Games in order to get Their Way. And We, the Sheeple, give into Their Wills and Machinations on a fairly consistent basis.

 

Wake Up !

 

Frickin’, Crackin’ let’s Stop Frackin’ !