Primary Issues In the Land of the Golden Calf

Just how important is a little Ching and Bling ?!

“Sir, are you running for President,” the Cub Reporter asked ?

“You bet’cha’ ”

“Then, sir, what alternative Agreement would you have formed with Iran ?  How would you deal with the Middle East ?”

“Because of Citizen’s United, my Super Pacs, and my own personal cronies and cohorts Corporate and Banking wealth, I now have 44 billion dollars to spend on this presidential race.  With that kind of wealth and clout, I will surely win.”

The Reporter approached another candidate.  “Excuse me, Ma’am, Are you running for President /’

“Yes, precisely so.

“Then Ma’am, how will you work our Economy in order to help more Americans find Living Wage Employment ?”

“Because of Citizen’s United, my Super Pacs, my own personal wealth, and the Wealth of all of my very wealthy and powerful Friends, I now have 48 billion dollars to spend on this Presidential race.  With that kind of money and clout, I will surely win.”

The Reporter approached yet another candidate,  “Excuse me sir, are you, too, running for president ?

“You got that right, kiddo !”

“Then sir, how will you settle the Immigration Problem ?  How would you secure the Borders ?”

“I am already a very successful Billionaire.  But now, because of my Celebrity and Fame, my money-making and publicity hounding expertise, my vast numbers of Friends and Fans, the Super Pacs, the Supreme Court’s decision regarding Citizen’s United which has unleashed dark monies and the Will of the Wealthy, and stymied the Loser Masses of the Sheeple, I am now worth 100 billion dollars.”

“Face it, young Reporter, and everybody around here.  You’re all Losers.  I have already won the Presidency.  Where’s my Crown ?”

“Tissues,” the 100 Billion Dollar Man asked incredulously ?  “What do you mean ,when will I really seriously, thoughtfully and wisely address the Tissues facing America and the World ?”

“Oh, my bad, you asked about the Issues facing any President of our great nation.”

“I’ll show you Issues, young Reporter.  The main Issue right now is the placement of my Crown !  And watch the hairdo, will ya’ !  Now, get out of my face, you Loser.  There’s no room for Losers in the Winner’s Circle.”

“Hey, watch it, Bozo !  I told all of you Losers to watch out for the hairdo…..”