Militias of Conspiracy

Paid for War Games versus Voluntary War Games......

“Tommy Ray, what are you doin’ walkin’ into my kitchen with granddaddy’s ‘ole twelve gauge Shot Gun ?  You, and the Boys goin’ on a Huntin’ Trip you forgot to inform me of ?”

“No, Peggy Sue, me and the Boys are part of the Possum Creek Militia.  You know that.”

“And…”

“We have been called up with the rest of the Texas State Guard Boys and Girls, by none other than Governor Greg Abbot to keep an eye out on Obama’s military operations takin’ place in Bastrop County.”

“What’s this all about, Tommy Ray.  You know as well as I do that they’ve held those military exercises in Bastrop County before.  In fact, the city looked forward to it, ‘cause it brought more Business their way.”

“Well, the times are different now, Peggy Sue.  For all we know, that Muslim Tyrant is sneakin’ in some of those dad burned Islamic State Militants to subdue the population of Texas, and these United States of America.”

“Tommy Ray, have you started drinkin’ early in the day again ?”

“I have not been drinkin’, Peggy Sue.  I am stone cold sober.  Or is that sober as a cold stone ?  Anyways, you know as well as I do that the Federal Government is our enemy.  El Supremo Speedy Limberger and Con Hand Dandy, and the leaders in the National Rifle’s Association, have been warnin’ us for years about the Feds Spying on us to gather Intelligence..”

“Did I hear you say Intelligence ?”

“Don’t get sassy with me Peggy Sue.  This is serious Business.  They want to confiscate our Guns, and our Property and run Psychological Tests on us like the extraterrestials….”

“So, now we’re bein’ invaded by E. T. ?  Really, Tommy Ray !  Do you hear yourself ?  Do you understand what you’re sayin’ ?  More importantly, do you really believe what you’re sayin’ to me ?  You know you don’t have to make up stories just to get out for a weekend hunt with the boys.  I’ll get our two Boys to handle the chores around here, that you’re not here for.  It’ll do Chad and Zeke good to get off of those computers and c**k-a-mamey phones they’re always fidgetin’ around on.”

“Peggy Sue, I’m not makin’ up anything.  I’m telling’ you the gol durned Truth.  You need to listen to me.”

“I’m listenin’ to you Tommy Ray.  I’m just not believing’ what I’m

hearin’.  Have you and the Boys lost your minds ?  I’m callin’ all of the wives, and askin’ the Girls about this….”

“Don’t do that Peggy Sue !  Don’t you humiliate me like that in front of everyone.  I’m telling’ you the Truth, woman.  You need to hear me out.”

“Alright, I’m still listenin’.  Good thing our boys are so Lost in Space on those fancy phones of theirs, ‘cause I sure don’t want ‘em to hear their Father soundin’ like some lunatic.”

“I am not crazy, Peggy Sue.  I am a Possum Creek Militia Man who has been asked by his Governor and his Commander, Major General Gerald Betty, to help them keep an eye on Federal military forces invadin’ our great Lone Star State for questionable purposes.”

“Tommy Ray, this invadin’ military you’re talkin’ about is comin’ down here for a couple of months to play around with their War Games, so they’ll be better prepared to confront any real enemies of America.  I do not want you and your huntin’ buddies, some of ‘em bein’ disgruntled Vets who did not get proper care from the VA hospitals when they got back home, to wind up shot or blown to pieces over some misunderstandin’ or the other !  Why can’t you see that ?  Why am I standin’ here havin to try and talk some sense into you ?”

“And anyways, I’ve heard of Gerald Betty.  He’s a retired military man himself.  The Texas State Guard is a purely Volunteer Militia.  None of y’all are gettin’ paid for doin’ anything.  Certainly not bein’ paid to go out and risk your lives on this nonsense…”

“The Possum Creek Militia is not nonsense, Peggy Sue !  The Texas State Guard is not nonsense ! We have been officially sanctioned by the Governor and the National Rifles Association.”

“You know as well as anybody, Tommy Ray, that I’m a gal who likes to go out target shootin’ or huntin’ from time to time, but the NRA is gettin’ a little tyrannical and looney toons itself if you ask me.  I don’t see any of them or their Family Members puttin’ their lives on the line.  But they sure don’t mind stirrin’ all of y’all up to go out and get yourselves shot.  Or worse.  Outright dead !”

“Governor Greg Abbott, himself, came out with a big speech just the other day tellin’ everyone about the Texas State Guard watchin’ out for the Citizens of Texas.  He told everybody that he, and the Texas State Guard would keep Texans safe.  That we’d Protect their Constitutional Rights, their Property Rights, their Second Amendment Gun Rights.  He said that he, and the Texas State Guard would make sure that their Civil Liberties would not be infringed upon, and that they would make doubly sure that the Helm 15 military group did not place Bastrop County or any other part of Texas, under Martial Law !”

“Martial Law ?!  Martial Law ?!  Are you sure he said all of that, Tommy Ray ?  What in tarnation is goin’ on around here ?!  Tommy Ray, you and the Possum Creek Boys have gone plumb loco !”

“The Possum Creek Boys and I are proud to be Texas State Guard Militia Men, especially in the Open-Carry State of Texas !”

“Tommy Ray, you’ll have to excuse me.  I think I’m gonna’ get Chad or Zeke to play one of their Games with me on the phone.  It’s about time I learned how to interact with them in their world.  ’Cause I’m sure not happy with the Games bein’ played in the World I’m livin’ in.”

And with that, Peggy Sue turned and walked out of the kitchen.  Leaving Tommy Ray standing all alone within his Armageddon World, and tightly gripping his granddaddy’s twelve gauge Shot Gun.