Lock 'n Load Overload !

What are the functions of gun laws ?

“ Hey, Billy Bob !  Long time no see !  How’re Peg and the kids ?”  Tommy

Jim called out to his old friend good naturedly.

“Ornery as ever, Tommy Jim.  But I wouldn’t have ’em any other way.  Heck, we all know that I out ornery ’em all, “  Billy Bob laughed as he rolled his grocery cart toward Tommy Jim’s.

“Looks like Peg has got you out shoppin’ for her and the kids, just like my Verlynn has got me out pushin’ a grocery cart for her and my brood,” Tommy Jim grinned knowingly.

“Aww, I don’t mind too much.  It’s the only time I get to slip things into the cart that Peg keeps tellin’ me I shouldn’t have, heh, heh,”  Billy Bob admitted.

“I know what you mean, Pard.  It’s got to where every time I hear Verlynn mention my goin’ into the doctor for a check up, I find a reason to postpone it.  Women take what those doctor’s have to say way too seriously,”  Tommy Jim said shaking his head from side to side.

“Speakin’ of serious matters,”  Billy Bob interjected.  “You and the missus goin’ to the NRA Convention this month up in Nashville, Tennessee ?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Billy Bob.  We’ll be stayin’ with one of Verlynn’s brothers.  He and his family have lived in Nashville for a few years now.  ’Ole Clem is excited about all of the money the convention is gonna’ be bringin’ into Nashville.  He owns a night club up there, and is already countin’ all the extra cash he expects to drag in durin’ the week of the NRA Convention,”  Tommy Jim answered.

“I take it that you and Peg are gonna’ be there as well,”  Tommy Jim added.  “We’ll have to stay in touch with one another by Smart phone, and hook up for some of the events.  I really like playin‘ around with my new GPS app.”

“Sounds good to me,”  Billy Bob agreed.  “You takin’ any of your Firearms with you ?  The Tennessee legislature has been workin’ overtime to make sure that it’s legal to carry guns everywhere in Public Places.  They say that local governments that want to leave their “No Guns Allowed” signs up everywhere can, but that licensed Gun Owners have the Right to legally ignore them if they so choose.”

“They even went so far as to pass a bill sayin’ that it’s a Misdemeanor to have a Play Squirt Gun within 150 feet of schools and other public places, but they made sure that all of us Second Amendment folks can open carry real guns in all of those places.  They’re really goin’ gang-busters to make the NRA and all of their supporters feel comfortable in Tennessee,”  Billy Bob announced.

“Ha !  That handful of measly democrats in the Tennessee legislature put up a bill sayin’ that if guns were goin’ to be allowed in all public places, then they should be allowed in the Capital Building of Tennessee as well.  Can you imagine that ?”  asked Billy Bob ?

“What were they thinkin’,” Tommy Jim said in disbelief.  “Of all of the c**k-a-mamey ideas.”  

“You know, I’ve been thinkin’ about it, Billy Bob.  It isn’t every day a man can walk into a public place to hear speeches from the likes of Republican men like Jeb Bush, Rick Perry, Mike Huckabee, Ted Cruz, Scott Walker, Marco Rubio, Rick Santorum, Larry Graham and Donald Trump with a fully loaded, open-carry Pistol strapped to your hip,”  Tommy Jim said proudly.

“Don’t see as how a man who is as fond of Firearms and the Second Amendment as I am can pass an opportunity like that by,”  Tommy Jim added.

“Peg said she won’t go if I carry any of my pistols or rifles to the Convention.  She also said that she won’t go to any of the speeches given by the Republican politicians thinkin‘ about runnin‘ for president, even though she really wants to hear what they have to say, as long as folks can carry guns into the Grand Ballroom where the speeches are bein’ made,”  Billy Bob sighed.

“What ?  That doesn’t sound like Peg.  Why, she’s a better shot than I am,”  Tommy Jim said in disbelief.  “Who stuck a burr under her saddle ?”

“The NRA did.  She says that they’re a bunch of hypocrites.  She says that they don’t mind tellin’ everyone that they’ll have to remove the firin’ pins from their guns before the go to any of the NRA events, like the Alan Jackson or Foxworthy performances, but they sure don’t mind folks who are there to drink, eat and have a good time gettin’ loaded on alcohol, and then locked and loaded with fully functionin’ firearms to run over to the Grand Ballroom where the political speeches are bein’ held, creatin’ who knows what kind of dangerous mischief,”  Billy Bob explained.  “I gotta’ admit, Peg’s got a point.”

“Do me a favor, Billy Bob, and don’t let Peg talk to Verlynn about any of this until we’re all already tucked into our hotel rooms in Nashville,”  Tommy Jim suggested.

“Since when can I stop Peg from doin’ anything she sets her mind to do, Tommy Jim.  You’re all on your own on the this one,” Billy Bob said.

“I may have to sneak the battery out of Verlynn’s phone, and tell her it’s on the fritz, and has to be taken to the shop to be fixed,”  Tommy Jim said resignedly.

“You’d really try and get by with somethin’ like that, Tommy Jim ?”  Billy Bob asked.

“When it comes to the sanctity of the NRA, a man’s Firearms and the Second Amendment, a man’s gotta’ take a stand,”  Tommy Jim proclaimed.

“Well, this man has gotta’ take a stand in the cashier’s line.  My homemade Blue Bell ice cream is gonna’ be a milk drink by the time I get home with it and the rest of these groceries.  Good luck with that phone battery escapade.  You’ll have to give me a call and let me know how all of that works out for you, Pard,”  Billy Bob said with a grin.

“You bet I will, but I’m gonna’ hide all of the guns around my place, just in case it doesn’t work out as planned,”  Tommy Jim insisted.

Laughing out loud, the two old friends rolled their grocery carts up to the nearest check-out stand.