"It's Against My Personal Beliefs"

Persoanl Beliefs can be complicated things leading to complicated situations.

“What a Beautiful Day it is !  Do you Hear the Song of that Mockingbird up there in the broad Oak Tree ?  He’s Singin’ his Heart out !  Did you know that the Mockingbird can Create up to 1,000 Songs a day to Sing ?”  Cheyenne asked her Sister, Liza.

“I don’t care about that ‘ole Mockingbird,”  Liza answered grumpily.  The State of Texas has left you Crippled.”

  

The Insurance Company that was supposed to be Responsible for Fixing you hired a better lawyer than the Worker’s Compensation System was able to help you with, and they gobbled you up and spit you out like yesterday’s stale bread and rotten meat,”  Liza continued.

“They played Game after Game with you, because they didn’t want to pay for the expensive Surgeries and Treatments your injured hip and back needed and still need, and you just gave up after six years of fightin’ with them, and walked away,” Liza said accusingly.

“Then on top of that you refused to sue the Guardians of the Student who injured you, because it went Against Your Personal Beliefs.  You refused to sue the School District you got Crippled doing your job at, because it went Against Your Personal Beliefs.  You refused to sue that worthless Worker’s Compensation System, because it went Against Your Personal Beliefs.  You refused to sue the dastardly Insurance Company who fought Healing you every step of the way. Although some days you got so upset you actually listened to your Family and the People who Care about you, and we almost had you talked into suing them.  But in the end, you refused to, because it was Against Your Personal Beliefs !”  Liza almost shouted aloud at her Sister, Cheyenne.

“And to top it off, you Live in a State that is Mis-Guided by a group of Red, tusked and harumphing people who are refusing the Affordable Care Act. Refusing to expand Medi-Caid, so that people like you who have been impoverished by our Culture’s Crazy and Dys-Functionally Greedy and Amoral Systems due to your Health, can actually Afford to buy Health Insurance so that you can get to a Doctor !”

“It’s Crazy, Cheyenne !  You still cannot Afford HealthCare Insurance, and so you haven’t been to a Doctor for anything for over three years now, and you’re getting worse and worse !”

“I know, I know, you tried to go into a doctor without Insurance and the office visit alone was $125.00 out of pocket for fifteen minutes of the Doctor‘s time.  Then they ordered over a thousand dollars worth in Tests that you couldn’t afford, before they would even begin Treating you for anything for even more money !  It’s obscene !  You’re sick !  You need help and you live in the Greatest Nation in the World, and you can’t get it, because you don’t have enough money to pay for it !  God must look down on us from Heaven and just want to hocker and spit !”

“And what’s even more ridiculous is that you still Support and Praise President Obama, and all of his efforts to get HealthCare for Everyone against incredible, well moneyed and well-connected odds, while you are worsening - deteriorating more and more every day, and your Life Span is being shortened by the constant Pain you’re in !”

“And instead of going on Dis-ability like everyone who Cares about you wants you to, you insist on continuing to Work to Support your impoverished and Crippled self, because you don’t want to take money away from people who have lost their legs and arms in War or other accidents, because you can still hobble around under your own steam, however painful it may be.  And  because you don’t want to be labeled Dis-Abled.  And all because it’s Against Your Personal Beliefs !”

“You make me want to pull my hair out, Cheyenne !”  Liza said exasperatedly.  “John Boehner, the Speaker of the House of Representatives is planning on Suing President Obama for Doing his Job, because the Republicans in Congress won’t do theirs, because they want Egg all over Obama’s Face.  And, as a result, they’re turning America into one, huge Scrambled Egg !”

“But you - oh no, you, won’t even sue the Sick and Mean-Spirited Systems that have left you Crippled !  Left you Sick !  Left you with a radically altered Life !  You make no Sense !”

“I make no Sense ?  Perhaps it’s the Dis-eased and Dys-functional Systems Americans have Chosen to Allow to spring up all around them without Questioning them, that make no Sense,”  Cheyenne said with a slight smile.

“Finally, I gotta’ little Life out of you,”  Liza proclaimed.

“Liza, I am well aware of my predicament and failing Health at every level of my Life.  It takes a tremendous amount of Energy and Will Power to have to deal with unending, constant Pain all day and all night long.”

“I don’t want to be this way.  I hate it.  You’re right, my whole Life has been dramatically altered.  I miss doing the physical things I used to do, took for granted, and can no longer do, because of my injuries.”  

“But this is my Reality, now.  I do not want to spend years of my Life in and out of Court in vengeful lawsuits, and playing the twisted Games that Sick and Dys-functional Systems want to play.  I just don’t want to Do it.  Even trying to Do it, especially since it is Against My Personal Beliefs, would truly drive me Crazy, and eventually turn me into someone I don’t want to Be.”

“But look at you now, Cheyenne.  You’re already who and what you don’t want to Be - a Cripple.  You don’t do anything you used to do, because you can’t or you don’t have the Energy left after Work to do it.”

“Liza, I have to save my Energy for the folks who Need me at Work.  And I’m teaching myself to use Meditation to control my Pain.  I’m even trying to use Meditation Practices to try and manipulate my muscles and bones back into their proper places.  So far, I’ve only been able to make my hip bone pop every now and then.  But, I’m not giving up.  Who knows, maybe I can help to Heal myself.”

“Meditation !  Are you kidding me ?”  Liza said sarcastically.

“Yes, Meditation, and 2,200 milligrams of Ibuprophen a day, along with Garlic, Tumeric, Ginger Root, Milk Thistle, Liver Aid, Glucosamine Chondroitin, Aloe Vera Juice and Krill Oil,”  Cheyenne answered matter-of-factly.

“Yes, you are kidding me,”  Liza announced.

“Maybe.  Maybe not. But this is the way that it is.  I have to Accept the way I am now.  The way my Life is now, and move forward.  Being forced to slow down, has had some advantages.  I’m Writing again.  And things about the World come to me during my Meditation times.”

“I have to Focus on keeping my Attitude as Positive as possible, so that I can take Care of myself, and other folks that I’m Responsible for, and not BeCome a drain on Others or the rest of Society for as long as possible.”

Cheyenne pointed into the air unexpectedly and said excitedly, ”Did you see that beautiful little Hummingbird zip by that orange and black Butterfly over by the bird feeders ?  It’s feathers were an opalescent emerald green.  And look at those cotton ball clouds drifting across that bright Blue Sky.  What a truly Amazing World we Live in !”

“You really do want me to pull my hair out !”  Liza blurted out.  “But hurting myself goes Against My Personal Beliefs.  Oh God !  Did I just say that ?”

“Alright, you win.  Yes, I see the Hummingbird, the Butterfly and the Clouds in the bright Blue Sky.  I am now ready to give them my full attention,”  Liza conceded.

“Did you know that the Hummingbird symbolizes Ecstatic Joy in some Cultures, and that the Butterfly symbolizes Transformation in others ?”  Cheyenne asked.

“Yes, I do !  How could I not when I have you around to remind me,”  Liza said with false enthusiasm.  “Can I watch the Hummingbirds and Butterflies flit and float around under the Bright Blue Skies while pulling my hair out ?”

“That’s up to you.”

“You make me Crazy, Cheyenne.”

“We’re all a little Crazy, Liza.”

“Of course, you’d say that.”

“I aim to please,”  Cheyenne answered cheerily.

“Maybe that’s the problem.”

“What ?  That everyone’s just a little Crazy in one way or another or that everyone aims to please in one way or another, but to no avail.”

“I’ve decided that I’m gonna’ sit here amongst the Birds and the Butterflies and quietly pluck the hair out of my legs instead of my head,”  Liza said while examining her right leg.

“Ha !  Now that’s more like it.  Liza, if it helps you to know, every day that drag my Pain ridden carcass out of bed I Choose to Hear the Songs of the Mockingbirds and to See the flight of the Hummingbirds and Butterflies in the bright Blue sky.  That, and many other wonderful things, are what keep me Moving - keep me Contributing to Life and the People around me.”

“You wanna’ help me pluck the hair out of my legs ?”  Liza queried.

“I love you, Liza, but not enough to help you pluck the hair out of your legs.  I’m afraid that you’re all on your own with that task,”  Cheyenne chuckled.

“Let me guess.  It’s Against Your Personal Beliefs.”

“Ha !  Something like that.  I love you, Sis.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.  I know.  I love you, too Big Sister.  And luckily that’s the most powerful part of both of our Personal Beliefs,”  Liza admitted.

“Sister Power !”  Cheyenne and Liza shouted out together while slapping one another’s hands in sync high over their heads.  “Forever !”  They both exclaimed and broke out together into relieving and familiar Laughter.  “Forever !"