The Harumphing and Garumphing Red Elephants are Stampeding !

What are the Republican/Tea partyin'/Conservative/Libertarian Red Elephants stampeding about ?

Jubilation Boys and Girls ! Jubilation !

This’ll stop all of this Gun Control, Immigration and Affordable Healthcare (For One and All) NonSense dead in their tracks ! Ha ! Ha ! Hee-Hee !

This’ll set our Republican Party’s Red Elephants harrumphing and garumphing and stampedin’ !

You gotta love that word Scandal ! The deliciously sumptuous Power of it ! Folks, just love a grand and terrible Scandal, as long as it’s not their own, that is, Hee-Hee ! Someone else’s Scandal - someone else’s Fall from Grace draws Folks like flies to Donkey dung. It’s unavoidable and totally manipulatable.

Yes, Boys and Girls, we’re gonna squeeze every ounce of corrosive Juice from these well timed Scandals ! Let me hear you obsessively chant, Benghazi ! IRS ! And let’s not forget the American Press ! Ha ! Ha ! Hee-Hee !

That’s right, Republican/Tea Partin’/conservative, Libertarian Boys and Girls, we gotta keep America Distracted from the Nations most important issue - Creatin’ Jobs !

No Creatin’ Jobs ! We wanna get back into Power in 2014 and 2016 so we can maintain the predominant Status Quo of Creatin’ Jobs that Benefit the Elitists, the Mega-Corporations (whom Citizen’s United deemed to be People so that they can throw as much money as they want to at organizations they help to form with their donations in order to get the politicians and judiciary officials elected that they want to have in place to do their bidding) and the (still too Big to Fail and Prosecute for UnEthical, Immoral and Illegal Economic hijinx and out-and-out Theft) Mega-Banks that we’re all already busy Seedin’ and Creatin’ !

We gotta continue to perpetuate Low Payin’, Socially Stagnatin’ and EnSlavin’ Jobs. The Elitists, Mega-Corporations (whom Citizen United deemed to People) and (still too Big to Fail) Mega-Banks need Chattel Cattle and Sheeple People to maintain and operate their festooning avariciously Self-Aggrandizing National and Global Feudal Corporate Kingdoms.

So, we gotta keep the Chattel Cattle/Sheeple People with their heads hung down low into the Feeding Troughs bawlin’ and suqawlin’ for Feed only We can Supply to ’em. That’ll keep ’em in line. That’ll keep ’em hungrily compliant and doin’ things Our Way ! Mooooooo! Baaaaaaa ! Ha ! Ha ! Hee-Hee ! Harumph ! Garumph !

Scandal ! We gotta spend the next three years Destroyin’ Obama’s presidency with Scandal !

We gotta get that Uppity Purple Man out of the White House ! We gotta keep telling’ Folks that he’s one of the Others ! That he’s a Muslim ! He’s a Socialist ! He’s a Marxist ! He’s a Kenyan ! He’s an Illegitimate Immigrant who sneaked his way into Power !

He’s a Purple Man ! We did not Free the Purples to be ruled by them ! America is Ruled by White Men in a White House !

Now, the Journalists are up-in-arms over the American Press Fiasco. We gotta’ make them believe that Obama and his People were behind it all !

That it was an Un-American Black Helicopter conspiracy !

Yes, I know, We Republican/Tea Partying’/Conservative/ Libertarian Red Elephants are primarily the ones who publically demanded that the Obama People find out who was leakin’ information to the Press that was endangerin’ our Spys, our International Collaborators, and our National Interests. But folks have short memories and they’re not gonna’ Re-member that fact.

So, we’re gonna’ finally get Eric Holder’s resignation, because he’s such a pain in our sides, and he’s another Purple Person given Power that really belongs to you know who.

We’re gonna’ fry his fish in boilin’ oil by blamin’ him entirely on Usin’ his Office to Overreach, by casting such a wide net down upon the press offices, journalists and an editor that they suspected of the leaks, because they had decided to secretly gather all of their phone calls goin’ in and out for a period of time to check for fishy information or numbers during their investigations.

Yes, we know that he says that he recused himself of the investigation. Yes, we know that they interviewed over 500 people and looked over thousands of papers before they grabbed and screened all of AP’s phone information, but that’s all unimportant for our Needs. We’re interested in the Scandal and making the American Public and International Public view The Purple Man, Obama suspiciously. We want to de-fraud The Purple

Man ! We want to ruin Obama’s reputation !

We need our Constituents to believe that Obama is tryin’ to Destroy the Freedom of the Press and Free Speech First and Gun Totin’ Second Amendments of the Constitution ! That’s what We Need ! Sometimes pre-varicatin’ and tweakin’ the Truth here and there has just got to be done to Win ! And we intend to Win Big in 2014 and 2016 !

Re-Member ! We’re the harrumphing and garumphing stampedin’ Red Elephants ! So, we Need to Focus on the noisy and Distractin’ harrumphing and garumphing !

Then, there’s Benghazi ! Four Americans killed by Terrorists ! Terrorists ! And our American Embassy burned to the ground ! Why and how could this happen to Americans ? Where was the State Department’s Protective Services ? Where was Hillary Clinton ? We’ve been Scandalized !

We gotta use this Scandal, my Republican/Tea Partyin’/Conservative/ Libertarian Red Elephants to taint Hillary Clinton’s reputation, because we don’t want her runnin’ for President. Or if she does run for the Presidency, we want her so crippled by Benghazi that she won’t stand a chance against our Presidential Candidate ! Harumph ! Garumph ! Red Elephants !

So, whatever you do, don’t mention the fact that we Red Elephant Republican/Tea Partyin’/Conservative/ Libertarians led the charge in Congress to cut the State Departments Security Budget for our American Embassies everywhere abroad. Don’t you do it ! We Need that important piece of information to lie dormant and un-spoken. Mum’s the Word !

‘Cause we don’t want to Fix this problem by giving the State Department the monies it would need to better Protect all of its Embassies and its People.

But the Red Elephants want the Weapons Makin’, Sellin‘, and Buyin’, and Surveillance Machinery, Militia and Troops Makin’, Sellin’ and Buyin’ Companies to be able to Use and Abuse, and Make lots of War Mongerin’ Profits off of the Wars We direct our Chattel Cattle/Sheeple People to fight and die for ! Ching ! Ching ! Bling ! Bling !

Re-Member We are the Red Elephant Self Aggrandizin’ Government Killin‘, Filibusterin‘, Gerrymanderin’, Vote Squelchin’, Obstructionists and Nay-Saying Governmental Nihilists !

We’re not here to Work to Fix things to help Benefit Americans lives for the Better as a Whole ! Oh no ! We’re here to keep anything Beneficial from happening for the American People during Obama’s Presidency ! Harumph ! Garumph !

But the IRS Debacle is the Best of All ! Everybody hates the Tax Man ! We will use that already existing hatred, resentment, suspicion, and fear of the IRS to our manipulative benefit !

We’ll make our Constituents, and others if we can, believe that Obama and his People (not just some overTaxed IRS bureaucrats who were probably looking for shortcuts to complete all of the paperwork they had to weed through, because they had lost a lot of folks in their offices due to Congressional budget Cuts), had the IRS target Only Red Elephant/Conservative/Tea Partyin‘/Republican/Libertarian Patriots !

We do not want to call attention to the fact that the IRS has been Mis-Used in America’s historic past to target Others, like the Gangsters of the 1930’s who were threatenin’ the overall Social and Economic stability America.

Nor do We want to mention the fact that the War Powers grabbed by former President Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld for all Presidents thereafter to Use, and probably at times Abuse, in the Congressionally approved Patriot Act sort of set this Scandal up to even occur ! That the Patriot Act is one of the biggest pieces of Overreach and Overgrab Americans have ever allowed themselves to be placed beneath, because of their Re-active Fear of the Great Big Boogie Man - Terrorism - after 9/11, and so willingly gave up many of their Privacy Rights.

No, don’t say a word about there being over 500 New Red Elephant Republican/Tea Partying/ Conservatives/Libertarians applying for Tax Exempt Status since Obama got Voted into office.

Why ? Because they are Rightfully and Redly angry and upset about that Muslim, Socialist, Marxist, Kenyan, Purlple Man, Obama bein’ in the White House !

No don’t say a word about all of our groups seekin’ 501C4 Non-Profit Social Welfare Organization standin’ really bein’ Fund Rasin’ organizations for Our Political Purposes.

Besides, the new Law of the Land, Citizen’s United tells Us that all Corporations are People. So, Tax evading’, Political Fund raisin’ machines and organizations who say that they’re workin’ “primarily” (instead of “Exclusively”, because in the 1950’s the IRS decided to change the wording to the original Law to “primarily“) in order to Benefit the overall Social Welfare are just People.

So, all of those funds raised for those “primarily” (not “Exclusively”) Social Welfare Organizations (tax exempted 501c4’s) can just siphon those Funds over to their favorite Political Party (in this case the over 500 new and burgeonin’ Red Elephant/Tea Partyin’/Republican/Conservative/Libertarian Patriots) and buy Political Ads all over America’s airwaves, roadways, televisions and computers tearin’ down and tearin’ up every Democrat citywide, statewide and nationwide that they can sink their rabid teeth and predatory shreddin’ Fangs into ! Harumph ! Garumph !

Yes ! We are Predatory Red Elephants who know how to trumpet and pray for Prey !

Yes, We know that all this could be Fixed by Repealin’ the Ill Considered and ultimately UnEthical Citizen’s United Law, and by returnin’ the Word “Exclusively” for Social Welfare Organizations not politically motivated or affiliated thusly to the IRS Laws and Guidelines.

But, we don’t want any of these Fixes. We don’t want to Fix the disparity of Our Economy. We want the Corporate Kingdoms to Win the Day ! We want to bury the Uppity Purple Man and the Blue Brayin’ Donkeys with all of these perfectly Fixable Problems, which We will refuse to allow to be Fixed, through further Nihilistic Obstructionism.

Instead, We want to Overrun, drown the Nation in ruinous Scandal Sewage and flush the Blue Sputterin’ Donkeys and their Uppity Purple, Muslim (not really. He’s a Christian. In fact he actually Behaves in much more Intelligent, Ethical and Grace-filled Christian Ways than many of Our so called Red Elephants do), Socialist (not really), Marxist (not really), Kenyan (not really) Man !

So, now you have some of Our highest Priorities and Strategies to Use against the Obama Administration ! Distract all Americans from knowin’ that the Government can help the Nation out of its Economic Doldums more quickly by Focusing on Creatin’ Jobs ! We want them Focused on Scandals that we’re pilin’ all of the Negative Energies into that We can ! Harumph ! Garumph !

Distract all Americans from the fact that the Affordable Care Act has already lowered Healthcare costs across the board, and that these savings are a part of why the deficit is also going down more quickly than first projected ! Harumph ! Garumph !

Distract Americans with the key words, Benghazi Scandal ! American Press Scandal ! IRS Scandal ! And we’ll come up with any other sort of Scandals we can along the way to keep America flounderin’ until We get into office and can get the Elitists, Mega-Corporations and Mega-Banks budding Kingdoms more firmly situated for our own Big Pay Day ! Hurray !

It’s a Jubilation conflagration, Boys and Girls ! The Red Elephants are harrumphing, garumphing and stampedin’ !

Ha ! Ha ! Hee-Hee ! Ching ! Ching !