How Does One Describe...?

One person's brush with inadequate and inhumane Healthcare due to systemic failures.

How does one fully describe what it is like as a puny, insignificant individual to be told daily by an Insurance Corporation that you not worth fixing ? Not worthy of Healing ?!

 

How does one adequately describe what it is like to lose the capabilities for doing the things that fed your Soul, and maintained the overall Health of your Mind and Body while helping another ? While doing your duty for your students as a Teacher - as a fully functioning Human Being ?

 

How gone forever are your inspiring weekend and vacation hiking and backpacking excursions through state and national parks - your ability to peacefully kayak meandering rivers, lakes and ocean waters - your chosen moments to laughingly bike, ride horses and play outdoor sports with family, friends and students - your ability to stand, run, jump, sit, rise and lie down with casual ease and mastery.  Gone forever !

 

How every day the puny, insignificant individual struggling for proper, humane and expedient Healthcare is made to feel even punier - even more insignificant.

 

How every day that you are forced to remain Crippled - and maintained within a state of constant moderate to severe pain that you become more devalued - more demeaned - more diminished - more invisible.

    

 

How every move you make - every step you take sends a fiery Spear of Pain stabbing and burning through your lower back - your left leg, hip, knee and foot. How electrical tingling, numbness and increasingly diminishing feeling constantly persist throughout your lower extremities.

 

How no matter what position you are in you are never fully comfortable. Never. The Pain nags louder. The Pain nags softer. But The Pin never stops nagging.

 

How humiliating it is to hobble through your daily routines. Struggling to walk more normally - to feel less pain. Not wanting to be seen as Crippled - as diminished - as weakened.

 

How by 6:00 p.m. you are ready for bed. Exhausted and ready for the temporary comfort of fitful sleep.

How does one describe what it is like to know that a group of people you have never met wish you Ill with every careless profiteering denial of the treatments you really need to fully recover from the injuries you received while performing the duties of your job - your Chosen Vocation of Teaching ? View you as a Problem they want off of their entry sheets and paper work loads.

 

How does one describe the betrayal they feel by the school they once worked for ? A teacher, who while giving aid to one of her deaf and blind high school students during gym class was fallen upon by that same tall young man she was helping, and irrevocably injured and Life altered while doing her Duty to her Student - her high school - her Community. A Teacher, told by the administration to fill out the Worker’s Compensation forms and sent to the first of many doctors (but not told until much later that when she did so she gave up her right to use the Medical Insurance she had been paying for every month through the school’s proffered group Insurance plan).

 

How does one adequately describe the broken Trust and Betrayal dealt out by the school, administrators, and school nurse (who had you sign the WC forms), the equally broken and dysfunctional Worker’s Compensation System (itself Crippled and Hog-tied by theTexas Insurance Companies and their lawyers, lobbyists and in-the-pocket politicians who pushed for, and Voted in, the new torte reform laws striping away the Rights and Humanity of Injured Workers) of this one-time Teacher, reduced to poverty, and the disabling labeling of Crippled Human Being feels with every pain filled step they take ?

 

How does one adequately and fully describe the seemingly easy and Institutionalized Betrayal of DeHumanized and DeHumanizing Systems ?

 

After all, what is the value of one puny, insignificant individual when compared to the Almighty Corporate Systems and the Money they can glean from the DeHumanized and DisPosable Masses? What is One red-blooded Sentient Being when compared to a green/gold-blooded automated Corporate Machine ?

 

After all, the red blooded Sentient Being is but a tiny morsel of sustenance for the green/gold-blooded Corporate Mechanistic Systems. In fact, the older the Sentient Being the shorter the shelf Life. Aging product gets ground up and spit out. Once Valued Property becomes uselessly antiquated and disposed of - let go.

    

After all, there are many other younger, more useful production entities to modify and sustain.

 

How does one fully and adequately describe and explain the fact that even a relatively Healthy Ego will eventually succumb to the daily blasphemous messages from the Insurance Corporation - “We Deny you. You are not worthy of Fixing - of wholly Healing. You are not Worthy. You are not……”

 

“What’s to be profitably gained by expending any more resources on Fixing an old part of the overall System’s Machinery ? “

 

“Out with the Old - in with the New !”

 

“Out with the Broken Down (not Worthy of repair) - in with the Functional !”

 

How does one describe…..?!

 

The Diagnosis for this outdated Patient is that you are not worthy of being Fixed by proper, Humane and expedient Healthcare. Because you are Not Worthy… !

 

 

How does one describe being forced to try and Live and re-build some semblence of a decent and fruitful Life while being kept Crippled and in Pain this way for the past five years ?  

 

How does one describe…?!