A Life and Reality Changing Experience....

Recollections of a Near Death Experience.

A Near Death Experience changes you forever. You never See the World or the Cosmos for that matter, in quite the same way.

 

No, I did not See a large White Light. No, I did not travel into a tunnel and wend up with Guardian Angels or anyone else familiar to me who had already Passed who quietly or smilingly escorted me to Heaven. Nor was I accosted by terrible demons who attempted to drag me into the sulfuric and belching belly of Hades.

 

No, I did not Experience any of those things.

 

I BeCame Dispersed Energy. An ever shifting, ever moving, All Seeing, fully Cognitive and Conscious Amorphous Cloud of Particles, Molecules, Dark Matter. Yes, the Dark Matter Realization surprised and concerned me, as well.

 

While unexpectedly undergoing respiratory failure in the Recovery Area of the hospital after a major cancer surgery, I found MySelf hovering over my Body, and the tense and very intensely busy nurses working on my body.

 

I felt no real emotional response while watching my body struggle and convulse for Breath. I was a Floating Observer.

 

Then, for some Reason still unclear to me, I felt compelled to look for my Family, Relatives and Friends who were awaiting word of the outcome of my surgery somewhere in the hospital.

 

My dispersed, amorphous Self passed right through the hospital walls. I quickly floated by and made note of the hospital’s plumbing, electrical wiring, wooden planks, metal framing, dry wall etc… as I went in search of my Loved Ones.

 

I located my Family, Relatives and Friends in one of the hospital’s Community Waiting Rooms. I spent a brief time eavesdropping and analyzing my Amorphous Form before being unexpectedly compelled to return to my Body.

 

When I re-enterd my Body I did not feel cold or warmth. I felt an extreme heaviness. My Body felt heavy and dense like lead.

 

Then I felt tingling pain, especially in my lungs and chest, as I agonized for every Breath I could get my Body to take in.

 

My eyes blinked open - fluttered open a few times. Just long enough for me to be able to register the relief of the male and female nurses who had been working on my Body, and then I drifted into black oblivion, until I awakened in my hospital room surrounded by my much relieved immediate Family.

 

Many have told me I was just Dreaming or that it was a side effect of the drugs I was full of for the surgery. Perhaps, they are right. But then again, perhaps, they are wrong.

 

What matters to me is what I Observed about my Amorphous, Cloudlike Form. It was made up of two primary, although varying, types and shapes of particles, circular and strand-like molecules and much denser circular, globular Dark Matter that constantly participated in a Dance of Push-Pull Energies with the Light Particles. They simultaneously attracted and repulsed one another.

 

I could Sense the Light Particles and Dark Matter communicating with one another (and amongst themselves) over the distances of see-through Space between them.

 

In my Amorphous, Cloudlike Form I felt partly here, in this World, and partly somewhere else. It was disconcerting, but not scary. In fact, I was cautiously intrigued. It caused me to wonder about the Natural (or UnNatural) Boundaries between the World of the Big and the World of the Small. The World of the Here and the World of the There (wherever that may be).

 

I felt Inflated. Blown out into another Conscious Loosely Formed Entity that apparently no one else could See or Interact with (that I was Aware of).

 

In this Inflated, Amorphous, Cloud-like Form I felt that even the Spaces in between the ever moving globes and strands of floating Particles and Molecules was charged (and at times not charged) with Energy. Everything about me felt dynamic, even the denser, very slow moving Dark Matter.

 

Fortunately, I was made up of much more Light Particles than Dark Matter. But I’m not certain that the Light Particles could have or would have moved at all without the ever present tension between the Light Particles (circular and strand-like) and the Dark Matter. Their Dance of Push-Pull created and generated Motion, and at times even Sound.

 

Also, while I was Experiencing my new shape, I Realized just why Music was so important to me - to all living Creatures. As a Natural Musician from birth, Music had always come easily to me (and others in my Family). I have always known that Music is a part of my Soul - an Expression of my Essential Being.

Music is Food for Every Living Creature’s (flora and Fauna’s) Soul - Essential Being.

 

In my Amorphous, Cloudlike Form I Sensed that the very movement and workings of all of my Light Particles and Dark Matter could be manipulated and perhaps even altered through Music. Each Lone Note could and would create and generate differing Changes depending upon the Vibration - the Key or Tone of the Note (or Sound).

 

The Motion created and generated by the Vibration would create and generate other types and modalities of Motion - of Movement - at many multi-layered levels of Existence - of Space - of Time.

 

Music Vibrates within us, and creates and generates whole new Realities within and without of Us. Music is the Essence of Cosmological, Earthly and Other Worldly Communication, Creation, Generation and Movement.

 

Also, I Saw repetitive combinations of Particles and Molecules, circles and strands as well as free floating (and at times lazily zipping) Independent Radicals. They looked the same as some of the other Particles and Molecules, but they Behaved - they Moved differently. And so, were more noticeable when I was giving more Attention to my Amorphous, Cloudlike Form as a Whole. The Free Radicals Movements and Behaviors were more Random and UnPredictable.

 

The only thing that seemed to me to remain A Constant was My Conscious Will. It felt like the Energy Source driving everything, and yet each and every Particle and Molecule had a Life (Conforming and Repetitive and Independent and Radical) of its own.

 

I felt that I was a Universe within a Universe within a Universe….. Cohesive, and yet InCohesive. Literally here, there and everywhere. After all, I was traveling through supposedly solid walls without any signs of a Particular Molecular hitch - ha !

 

Upon awakening from my Near Death Awakening, I have never Seen the World or the Inner and Outer Workings of the Inner and Outer Cosmos’ in quite the same Light Particles or Dark Matter, for that matter.

 

Indeed, drug induced Dream within a Dream or not, it was a Life and Reality Changing Experience.