How To Pray For Pigs

A didactic poem about pigs and prayer

How To Pray For Pigs

(didactic)

Place your hands together

Point them towards heaven

Use the sky for guidance

Use it as a reference if necessary

Make sure each finger touches the other and no other

Eat breakfast

Feed the pigs old food

Keep good food in storage

Buy pig health insurance

Buy pig life insurance for insurance

Purchase a gun because two is too many

Buy holy bullets (the kind that makes holes)

Use your left hand to shoot the gun

Cover your eyes with your right hand

Fire at will in the direction of the pigs

Pray that they don’t die

Ask yourself why you are shooting at pigs

Pray to God for forgiveness