Casino Confused

Gender identity and other goofy stuff.

Casino Confused

A person of unknown gender walks into a casino in Canada. The staff at the establishment become filled with fear at the sight of this clearly androgynous individual. It was not because of the questionable glitzy cowboy/cowgirl/whatever attire with all the blinding rhinestones flashing. It was not because of the male/female porcupine spiked hairdo style or alpaca or much larger llama unkempt hemp like mess atop their over sized globular greasy head. You could easily construct an eagles nest up there with all that entanglement.

The casino employees feared they might get disciplined for not using the correct pronoun when addressing the patron in front of them. They could be written up and suspended if they get it wrong. With the new laws in Canada they could even lose their job or something worse. They could be shipped off to Disney World, a waste land for the gender confused in America to become enslaved by Mickey the anatomically incorrect mouse. Could hell be any worse than that?

Much to everyone's chagrin, this person of neutral perception and perspective liked to talk, so talk they did. Maybe that is a good thing. The casino workers would be wise to listen and grin. The ever effervescent casino patron rambled on about everything; talked about fashion, junk food and things in the news. They went on and on about the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp trial. Apparently siding with Amber. You know. Amber the truth teller, which begs the question, “How deep is your Depp and why is there fecal matter on Johnny’s side of the bed?” If you have questions Amber has answers. It is her duty to tell her truth.

The casino workers were forced to endure the customer’s rant but even casino workers have minds. They have questions too. They are not simply simple functionaries as you might believe them to be. Well maybe they are but we digress.

The outspoken though perhaps not outed customer raised a few eye brows when it was suggested by people that Amber’s babies should be microwaved. Who would suggest such a thing?! According to Amber's testimony in court, everyone wants to microwave her babies. Does Amber even have babies?

What else could they do but nod, smile and back away quietly from view after having their minds skewed. If by chance you should happen to become engaged in conversation with such an individual, never look them in the eyes. That would be considered racist. If they ask for directions to the rest rooms, point south. Never open your mouth.

As fortune would have it, a drunken bum gambler just happened to stumble by just in time to interrupt the gender perplexing person as they were about to expound further on the merits of Amber.

A female casino attendant, the recipient of the unwanted discourse felt a wave of peace and relief wash over her and her unwashed uniform. It was as if a cousin of Jesus intervened, a divine intervention to save her from this abuse in a baptism of love and comfort.

The disheveled nasty man yelled out, “Hey you!” “Idiot!” “Gimmie a quarter.” “I’m all tapped out!” The female staff worker on duty became happy happy happy with the drunken intruder.

Now there is a name to address the he/she/they. “Idiot” is good a name as any so idiot it is.