Experiments With Eggs

A study in the fragility of life

Experiments With Eggs

Fur pies don't sell so bakers use eggs

It is evident in the historical records

The unborn remnants inside the shell

Children of the chicken

Are soft and gooey and easier to use

Fur coats are difficult to swallow

No matter what PETA says and they say a lot

I'm not impressed because not all animals are pets

As a matter of fact I eat meat in sandwiches

And wear fur in Winter to keep me warm

It's true. Fur does not taste so good in pies

Bakers will attest to that in a court of law

In fact they do on every occasion of the day

“Yes your honor.” “I am here to testify.”

“Eggs are better for making pies”

“Fur gets caught in the throats of customers”

Eggs come in groups of twelve in separate compartments

Kept in Styrofoam or cardboard cartons for their protection

It gets bad for them when the bombs drop on your house

And eggs happen to be home at the time

They could crack. You could lose track of the count

Eggs can't scramble themselves

They hold up better in bomb shelters and bakeries

Fur comes with a warning, “Wash by hand in warm water”

They should add, “Not to be used in pies?

“Not to be consumed by public or private citizens at large”

Fur pies don't sell so bakers use eggs

But must remember to discard the shells

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

Like fur and fury animals and eggs

It is fine to experiment in my estimation

Woodland creatures don't care what you use

Unless you are thinking about making a stew

Making a pie or coat goes without question

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

I have heard the term "fur pie" before, but in a totally different context than the animal rights debate. I wonder if you know what I mean.

[Earl Schumacker]

Hi John, Thanks for commenting. Yes I have. Trust me. There was no sexual reference here in this poem. It is simply a silly construct with the eggs at the focal point of the absurdity presented.