Resume 2018

Work is important. Erasers are more important.

2018 Resume

Career Objective

Self absorbed executive interested in virtually nothing, looking for a full time 5 hour work week where little or no work is required of me, (thank you very much.) I am a fully house broken toilet trained individual with frantic needs looking to collect your office supplies for myself. I require lots of erasers. I expect a large pay check and lots and lots of breaks. (The coffee must be room temperature, not too hot not too cold.)

Work Experience

2017 - to whatever today is

Expert at petting the cat. Experience in watching dishes pile up. Looking at radio dials and knobs, (how shiny and pretty they are, how round and cute they are) Eating cookies. (cookies are important.)

1932 �" 1960

Accomplished escalator and elevator rider with ill intent. I took 3 minute showers on Saturdays. Slept during most of those years. Watched The Price Is Right. Buttered my own bread, (both sides.)

1960 �" 1992

I can't remember. Too many years. Why bother?

Education

Yes. Maybe.  Don't ask.  It is a private matter.

Other Interest and Activities - Looking intently at grass growing, paint drying and having someone read the comics to me on Sundays. Elevators and escalators continue to be my passion.

References - By court order only.