I use punctuation to put in pauses and set timing for audible presentations. so as I read yours aloud I stopped so often that the words lost their fit. Maybe its just me - that happens, but try reading your work aloud and see where YOU want the pauses to be and ensure you have the control of the rhythm and flow... it will really make a difference in the sound quality of your work and listener's ability to appreciate your effort.
A excellent poem. Each set of lines took me to a good place. Freedom by the stars and the moon is the best days for the wild in heart and mind.
"At dusk, the moon laughs
With me, in the garden -
We hold hands,
And share our secrets."
Thank you for this amazing poem.
Coyote
This is a wonderful piece and puts me in mind of the story of how the moon and sun love each other. They chase each other every day and wave as they only see other for a few seconds. This never puts a damper on their love or their chase........I love the sun and am the moon so I can relate.
I use punctuation to put in pauses and set timing for audible presentations. so as I read yours aloud I stopped so often that the words lost their fit. Maybe its just me - that happens, but try reading your work aloud and see where YOU want the pauses to be and ensure you have the control of the rhythm and flow... it will really make a difference in the sound quality of your work and listener's ability to appreciate your effort.