The Hole Inside

Unwilling or motivated to do anything as
nothing comes to mind of worth,
The thought of that controls me now.

I've given up some time ago 
but I don't know how, why or when
Soulless death still decomposing
my heartlessness battle's her emotions,
still she lives and still she grows
and I realize 
my emotions had just lost
to her heartlessness.

I am that of broken spirit and shattered will,
locked down and shackled to my past,
Disappointed cause reality is but a drag,
I'll eventually catch up.

Once I step down off this cross
I'll heal as I work towards 
the coming of my up and coming,
My schoolings provide wisdom 
to something life teaches most
as possibilities develop
and continue to exist.

Once more I'll become Specktacular
Still though in this place thats unknown to me.

I believe in me & 
I trust my abilities,
With determination 
I can be there too.

I just need the want
That has to know
Why that is it for ME!