December 25th 2009: Merry Christmas

What Lysander and I had found was Serena’s body in a puddle of blood. I slid down the hill and gently turned Serena on her back. She wasn’t breathing, I started doing CPR as I heard Lysander’s phone dialing a number.

"Rollo start packing the house up we’ll be leaving by nightfall." There was a slight pause. "No and send Lupa with medical aid. Serena injured badly and Liam’s nowhere in sight."

Serena spit up blood in face and started to breath by herself, though her breathing sounded more like wheezing with moaning thrown in. I tried to find to injury that caused all the blood but found nothing but a large knot on her head that could be a concussion. All the blood meant something. If it didn’t come from her then who’s blood was it?

Lupa came running a few moments later searching for the missing injury. The answer crept up on me slowly starting in the base of my spine head up and soon my entire body knew who’s blood it was. When Lupa looked up at me to tell me she wasn’t bleeding, her eyes met mine and we were in complete understanding. Lysander who had run into the woods to try to catch a whiff of Liam had returned.

"Is she alright?"

"No scratches." I said trying to lead him gently into the understanding Lupa and I had now had.

"But all the blood…" Lysander said slightly confused.

"Liam’s?" I said feeling like suddenly my world had shattered. Lysander squatted down to the blood and smelled it before tasting it. I admit I looked away when he did this but I trusted Lysander to know what he was doing.

"It’s his." Lysander’s words where shaky. I could she rage seeping into his body and I knew that he would soon become a wolf and nothing could stop it. Lupa blocked Serena from the change and I stood un moving being unsure if there was anything else I could do and watched as Lysander became the giant white wolf and disappeared into the forest of snowy trees.

"Is Liam still alive?" I turned around and looked at Serena who was convulsing and twitching in the snow. My question changed rapidly. I wouldn’t lose Serena. I couldn’t lose two of most important people I knew in one day. "What’s happening?!"

I was holding Serena down which was becoming nearly impossible. Lupa stood back as if un concerned about the situation in front of her. I yelled and held on tight as Serena rolled in the blood soaked snow making both of us looking like we’d been bathing in blood. I yelled my question again and Lupa finally answered.

"She consumed Liam’s blood."

"What does that mean? Is she changing?" I asked as Lupa pinned Serena’s legs and I held onto the tight grip I had gotten on both wrists. I had thought back to the torturing pain I had felt as my body healed and changed into something not human. I didn’t however remember this happening to me.

"Yes, but in the worst way. Remember your bite?" I nodded and Lupa continued. "The spliva in the bite makes it easier. It’s like a number it helps like a small buffer that helps your body transition. Pure were blood is more potent and much more painful."

"It wasn’t a joy ride when I was bit."

"Like I said this is worse. Plus since her maker isn’t here he can’t create a blackout or mind blocker. She’ll remember each moment of pain."

"Can’t we do anything?" I asked as Serena’s screams began. Lupa paused for a moment and shook her head.

"Unless you want to kill her, no. She’ll have to go through this on her own, we can’t leave her here." Lupa looked at me and told me to stay with her and took off. I sat in the snow next to her and watched in agony as Serena went through Hell and even worse not being able to help. After Lupa left I was no longer able to hold her down and the thrashing began alone with screams of pain.

I tried to tell her everything would be alright but it was impossible to know if I was helping or making things worse. It was like watching a person who was engulfed in flames trying to put themselves out but not being able to. Her skin looked like it was pealing and her body was so hot the bloody snow became bloody water. She was still trashing and tears streamed down her face. She was creating a pool of muddy water and I jumped in it to pull her out of it. She elbowed me in the face sending my head flying back. I shook it off but it had hurt she couldn’t have cared less about my pain as she was still screaming though her voice was now starting to crack and sound even more painful.

"Just hold on. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Oh god. I’m sorry. Please. Just hold on." I kept repeating the same thing over and over rocking back and forth giving up on trying to help her because I could not help. All I could do was watch as changed. Lupa came back after I said I was sorry for the millionth time with chains and began binding her hands and feet, then she placed what looked like a small rolling pin in her mouth and tied a thing of fabric to go around her head to hold it in. "What are you doing."

"Get her feet." Was all Lupa said as we carried her back to the cabin Rollo wasn’t in the house we took her to my normally used room and Lupa cut off the jacket and pants as I slipped off her shoes and socks. I sat down leaning against the wall waiting for Lupa to say something wise and comforting. "Go start packing up your things, you heard Lysander. We leave tonight."

Then she left the room. I was alone in my room with my still grunting in pain friend Serena. How does one get so lucky? I had a thought and jumped up to chase after Lupa.

"I need to go to Serena’s house." Lupa asked why but I ran to quickly out the door taking the Hummer keys with me. I drove well over the speed limit and going over a few too many curbs for my taste but hit nothing with a pulse. I pulled next to the curb on the other side of Serena’s house. I climbed up to the roof and pulled open the window that had had a broken lock. I jumped in and found her backpack and tossed things into it. Pictures, clothing, and a few other things I knew she wouldn’t want to be without. I still felt like it want enough so I found yet another bag and stuffed it full of things. Her room lost some of its personality with its missing items and I thought that to be a good sign. She could take her personality with her. I put the back pack on and wrapped my arms around the other as I jumped off the roof. I tossed them into the back of the Hummer and drove back to the cabin trying to break a record of how many traffic violations I could make without a cop interfering with my getaway.

When I had gotten back the beds where gone as well as the couches and large electronics. Luckily for me I never unpacked all my boxes and it was fairly easy for me to catch up to the packing team of Rollo and Lupa. We were all packed by nightfall. The Hummer had a large trailer attached to it and Rollo had also rented a large moving truck. All that was left was a shell of a cabin. It was sad but not as bad as maybe losing Liam. I helped move Serena into the large back seat of the Hummer that I had tried to make more like a bed then seat and then sat in the front while Lupa drove the Hummer and Rollo took the much larger moving van.

"How are we supposed to find where were supposed to go to find Lysander?" I asked after Serena had finally stopped trashing and screaming which happened to be a good five hours later after we had left. "It’s not like he took his phone with."

"Lysander knows where you are. He’ll find us." I clutched my stomach, the stabbing feeling happened again. I looked over to Lupa. "You alright?"

"I think Liam is alive but…" I took a large breath the stabbing feeling doubled. "He’s in pain. Bad, very bad pain."

"Lysander will find them. Fay have to sleep. Lysander won’t need to for a long time. Sleep becomes recreational, something to do because your board. That’s at my age, Lysander is a good four hundred years on me so he can go longer without sleep. When he catches up he’ll find a way." I knew Lysander would try and find a way but all I could think of was the pain that held firm in my stomach and what would happen if he was caught. I wanted to know where I was being driven to. My mind hadn’t cared where it went before Serena’s screams had stopped because of the guilt I had felt when listening. Guilt that I could not help but worse was the guilt that gnaws at my mind was that if I wasn’t so selfish she wouldn’t have asked the right questions to Liam. Lysander would be safely snuggling next to me and Liam would be safe at home maybe trying to beat Serena’s high score on Halo. Now that my mind wasn’t being constantly remainder by her screams I could think.

"Where are you taking us?"

"I wondered when you were going to ask. Lysander’s back up plan for you my pack. You’re under Rafe’s protection. So is Serena." She added as she saw my head tilt back towards her. "Rafe’s a good man."

"You’re older than him aren’t you?" I hadn’t known for sure but I told just feel it like an unspoken vibe that radiated off of every werewolf I’d met. No specific number but just like a way to know who your real elders were. "Why aren’t you the leader?"

"Well traditionally women aren’t pack leaders, Apha male title is a bit odd when you’re a female. Besides that I wouldn’t want that job. I care about all my pack members but the caring clouds rational judgment that is necessary in a pack the size that Rafe’s pack is."

"How big is it? Wasn’t it only you, Rollo, Ulric, and Ula?" I asked.

"Yes but now it also includes you and Serena." She gripped the steering wheel and sped past a person driving on the speed limit. "There are few packs this size let alone with so many girls. It’s un heard of."

"Girl weres are really that rare?" I thought about it and realized I had met only three girls and met five guys that where werewolves, six if you counted my knowledge of the True Alpha. That was one out of every three.

"Yes. It was rare to have two girls in the pack. Having ones in a pack is considered lucky. Rafe now has four." I felt dirty being referred to as an object in Rafe’s pack but found it hard to argue when I was already back to worrying about Liam and Lysander. I rolled down the window and leaned my head against the frame of the window. I closed my eyes and tried to see if I could find there smell. It wasn’t in the air that whipped at my face. That made me slightly sadder but I found the wind in my face to calm my nerves. I now understood why dogs liked it so much and now that I was a werewolf, which made me a wolf which is the non domesticated version of a dog.

"We’ll be in the camp in another twelve hours so you can sleep if you need to. Serena will still be out when you wake up." He voice sounded a lot like my mom’s and as the wind continued to make me feel better I found a way to find sleep.

In my dream I had decided to find a way to help them and get them out of the mess that I feel I started. I would help Serena get better and the first full moon I would help her and in the second moon we’d go to find them. They where our guys after all, and despite my many faults Lysander loved me.

I woke up. Lupa was still driving and it was still dark out. I felt my left ring finger and felt the ring. Then I felt down in my bag for the two books I had packed with me. I first felt Liam’s journal and felt the front cover. I placed it next to Serena, Liam would have told her and now that she was what we are he wouldn’t object. After all he had made her even if it was unintentional. It was the black blank leather bound journal that was mine. I lifted the peacock pen that Liam must have felt silly buying for me and wrote this down. Wrote about whom I was before and who I am becoming now.