December 5th: Encounters

^{I needed to do what I always did when things got tough back with my parents. I would take a walk. In this case I ran, I ran to my old street, things seemed simpler back on this street. The same smells of this street felt like a warm blanket nothing bad could happen on this street, I walked by my house a stared at it. Memorizing it. My mother has in the spare bedroom by now, they hadn’t shared the same bed since I was thirteen, mother’s snoring was to blame yet I always thought deep down it was something else. The lights where off in the house and it was quiet. I walked over to Serena’s house; it was only twelve at night that meant she was still up.}

I climbed up a tree and then tiptoed across the roof to her window. It amazing to know I wasn’t worried about falling or getting hurt but waking her parents. I made it to her window and looked in. Serena was dancing to some techno music, it wasn’t dancing so much as an awful combination of movements that one would only do if they thought they were the only one there. I knocked on the window and she dropped to the floor and crawled into her closet without looking at the window. She always did that when she was going to change

"Window’s open." Serena said awkwardly. I opened the window and climbed in. I collapsed on the bed and laid on my back as I heard the closet door open. "How do I… Ohmygod…"

I started laughing Serena was in fancy lingerie. She turned red and threw on a robe and started mumbling. I forced myself to stop laughing. It wasn’t going to do me any good to hurt Serena’s feelings. She sat down in her computer chair and tried to hold on to her dignity it was easy to know what she was doing because I had done the same thing when I walked into my room naked and Liam was in there. I wouldn’t tell her that story right now, it wasn’t the time. I was going to let her have the first word.

"I thought you where Liam." She looked more frustrated. "I never did this before. I was planning on surprising him. He just seems so distant all of the sudden. I figured that his family was distracting him and well I thought this would get his attention."

"Well it got mine." She laughed and then I joined in. "Do you two have plans to… you know."

"What? Like the whole way? No. Gosh. No, this was to get his attention and well teasing him seemed the way to go." We both laughed again it felt good to laugh again. It was distracting me. "We were planning to meet up tonight but I wasn’t sure if he was going to show. Your new family and all. Also what is up with that blond girl?"

"Ula, cousin I think." I looked away from Serena, I couldn’t tell her that Ula was actually Liam’s s****y Ex. "I’m not a fan of hers."

"I got a creepy vibe from her. Like she was into Liam? Gross right… I mean they’re cousins so I’ve got nothing to worry about right?" I comforted her and convinced her everything was alright. "So why are you here? I didn’t hear a car or that Hummer. It’s not like you walked here."

"Oh I took… Liam is going to be here?" It was the only subject change I could think of. She bought it and became more girly.

"In maybe ten minutes unless he bails."

"Well he’s kind of a old fashion gentleman so I’m guessing he won’t bail on you ten minutes before you two had plans." I jumped up and off of her bed and walk towards the window. "I guess I should leave."

"Hey no, stay for a while. I mean I’m sort of clueless when it comes to Liam. So it makes me nervous and well you being here helps." I leaned on the window and felt the cold glass on my back. I wanted to leave right then to avoid anymore werewolf encounters I need a night off. "So I was thinking about something. You know you know Liam better than I do, because you married his brother."

"Yes I guess. He’s a really good friend." I started pulling up the window. I didn’t want think about this. Liam was a Ken doll in my world. I did my very best to avoid knowing anything about him in that way. "I should really…"

I squealed, Liam’s hands squeezed my sides making me drop to the floor. I picked myself up as Liam let himself in. Serena and him hugged each other and I let myself out before I could be asked to stay or leave. Liam followed me out the window and grabbed my wrist.

"What are you doing out?" Liam asked me like a worried parent.

"What does it matter? I was just visiting my friend." I tried to walk away but his grip intensified I and I had to stay. "What?"

"Fay are out there, they almost killed Lysander. He is more powerful then any being I’ve ever met. I drove here on the roads. You ran through the woods? That’s where they live. Damn it, you’re acting really stupid. You didn’t even tell anyone you left?" He dropped his grip on me. "Where are you going now?"

"I don’t know I just wanted to walk around. Think a little. Get out of the house." I started to walk away.

"Go home now."

"Look at you trying to be my elder."

"Look little girl I am seventy years older then you. Watch yourself." Liam eye twitched with held back rage. He rubbed his face hard. "You need to leave. Take the roads home."

He took a deep breath and reentered the window and shut it. I jumped off the roof and started walking on the road. I wasn’t mad at Liam I was angry at Lysander for not kicking Sibel to the curb. I didn’t stop walking and I never stopped heading home. I just took a lot of sided roads and detours. I walked on both sides of the road and even in the middle of it. I had walked all threw Central Point and hadn’t run into one person. The streets couldn’t have been emptier. I finally gave up on the detours at four am and made it half way to the house when I stopped. I smelled something different it was in the woods.

I walked up to the edge of the road I was an arm’s reach away from touching the trees but I couldn’t touch. I couldn’t move forward. My feet wouldn’t pick up from the road. I stood there and my body pulled me to continue down the road. I couldn’t yet, this smell was so different and so rancid I had to know what caused it. I felt my pockets and to my horror my phone wasn’t there. I never went anywhere without my phone. In a away it was like a security blanket that connected you to people. Like Lysander. He would know what this smell is.

My heart was beating loudly and my senses where all heightened. I took a deep breath and tried to think of what the smell could be. It was so over powering it was hard to breath but I couldn’t stop breathing it. It was addictive every breath made me want it more. I needed to know what it was. My whole body shook and I started foaming at the mouth. I started to not be able to control my movements. My brain felt like acid had been pour on top of it. The colors around me became like a life like cartoon. Everything began to feel fake, like a dream. I had to leave and get out of here. This wasn’t good; I forced myself to stumble down the road. Things began to turn back to normal and then I started to panic. For the first time since the car crash I felt cold from the inside out.

I looked behind me and saw a light gliding towards me. It looked beautiful, a black white light. It moved closer and I kept turning around, the smell was attached to the light. I considered turning around and talking to the light. Suddenly I changed, my clothing was in pieces at my paws and suddenly I realized this light wasn’t good. I turned around and the light was gone. Instead was a seven foot tall and lean, with jet black hair and black eyes. Its skin was white, so white that it glowed in the dark and his lips curved in a sinister smile reviled his row of pointed teeth. What shocked me the most though was his clothing it was drenched in blood but the clothing itself seemed to be made of spun gold.

I snarled and my fur stood up. I didn’t know if there were more of whatever it was but I knew I was in trouble. I backed away quickly doing my best to not take my eyes of it. I heart sunk when I smelled the same smell but from behind me. I howled hoping someone would hear me. They were playing with me, they would kill me when they’re sick game was over. I wasn’t sure what the sick game was. I surrounded by them. Two more came up alongside the first and three more behind me. Each one looked more sinister then the next but they were all identical. My mind started to feel like the acid was being poured back in. This time it was worse, it wasn’t fake, it was real and I saw their faces and they were evil.

I saw one more light but this one was smaller and blue. It must have been the leader because they all turned and stared at it. It roared like an engine, I was stunned and I once again could feel death. Now I decided to not go down without a fight. I lunged at one of them when while they were all looking at the approaching blue light. I clawed its head off, unwilling to bite them I used my claws. It’s blood was grey and it made the assault melt. They all looked at me now and I knew I would get one more and then lights out for me, but which one. I chose one that was off to the side.

It fell then as its head went flying in the other direction. I felt when two of them jumped on me. One bit my shoulder then the other my hind leg. I yelped in pain. The blue light finally came, it was a motorcycle that slammed into the others not biting me. Liam as a human jumped into action and pummeled one, tarring its head off with his bare hands. Then I saw his finger nails sharpen like Sibel’s had and he took the other one out with one swipe of his hand. He picked me up and ran with me on his back as a wolf. I couldn’t change back yet, my body still knew it was in danger. Liam was mumbling incoherently and so quickly that I couldn’t understand a word of it.

I continued to stay awake till I saw the cabin, my home. I shifted and then nothing. I felt everything all the adrenaline that held the pain at bay had come back full force. I vomited and every muscle in my body twitched and tightened. Liam kicked open the door and Lysander jumped up and rushed to me. Liam gave me to him then changed and took off. The others did the same and Lysander’s body shook. He was stopping himself from changing. I recognized the deep breaths and the tense way he walked.

"Pups are so stupid these days." It was Sibel. "Eh come on put her down. Let’s go hunt."

"You leave my house." Lysander said as he opened the door to his room and placed me on his great big white fluffy bed. Falling on to it always made me feel safe and comfy now I felt pain with each movement and sound. Lysander covered me in a blanket then brushed the hair out of my face. Sibel looked on at Lysander waiting.

"Hello? Oh please don’t tell me you feel something for this girl?" I heard Lysander walk towards her. "Oh don’t give me that face. She’s over a hundred times younger then you. You two have nothing in common. Nothing, now come on go hunting with me."

"I said leave. That is an order given to you by an elder, leave and never enter this home again. Now!" Sibel left without another word. Lysander then laid down on the bed next to me, I felt his gaze and his fears over me. I shut my eyes tight and used every bit of energy I had and placed my hand on his. With all my energy used I fell into the darkened safety of sleep.

I woke up and I was alone in the room. My head hurt as if I had slept to long and I was hungry enough to eat bed. I felt dizzy and confused; I pulled myself up and tried to stand up. I nearly fell down onto the floor. I steadied myself on the bed post and looked outside. Everything was covered in snow; it was the stereotypical winter wonderland that every kid dreams of in hopes of skipping school. My walked, more like wobbled, to the door and clung onto the door knob and looked down at the stairs and decided on going down. I gripped tightly to the banister then took each step one at a time. When I finally reached the bottom I spotted Liam who looked like all the blood had been drained from his face.

"Lysander!" Liam nearly screamed his name. I was puzzled and woozy. Liam jumped off the couch and picked me up and then shouted Lysander’s name again. He placed me on the couch. I smelled the air, waffles, my stomach lurched. Liam heard it then ran to the kitchen. "Lupa, can you bring me a waffle?"

"You got legs."

"Lupa, Eve woke up!" I heard the kitchen suddenly burst with sound. Lupa walked out of the kitchen with two very large waffles and a large glass of orange juice. I reached out for it and wolfed it down eagerly. I took a few moments before I opened my mouth again, I felt sick still. Liam grabbed a bucket and I threw up. Lupa held my hair for me and Liam rubbed my back. I wasn’t ungrateful but I didn’t like being weak in front Serena who I’d known since middle school. I hadn’t even spoken to Lupa before this moment.

"Lysander and Rollo went into town to get supplies."

"Why Liam got stuff two days ago." They looked at me oddly and then had that sympathy look plastered all over their faces. "What is the date today?"

"Umm." Liam paused and had a silent moment with Lupa before answering me. "December twenty secant."

"2009 right?" Suddenly I was worried years had gone by and I’d missed everything. Werewolves don’t age so there was no indicator there.

"Yes, poor thing. It’s still 2009. You need to relax. I’m going to call the boys." Lupa said as she patted both mine and Liam’s backs then got up and left the room.

"You’ve been asleep for over two weeks. You’re parent’s think you and Lysander went on a belated honeymoon on some island where phones reception sucks, since it was winter break it was a good time to go on one." He hugged me so tightly I nearly threw up again. "Sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner."

"Was that, were they the…" I remembered them like it was yesterday. Then again that was yesterday to me.

"Fay? Yes. They did this. If I had gotten there sooner, I should escorted you home myself." He was so remorseful and it made me smile. I kissed his cheek.

"You are a great big brother Liam." Then I laid my head down on his lap and rested my eyes again. I heard Lupa walking around each step was almost rhythmic like she danced while she walked. It could almost make a song behind each step. Lupa look my mother’s age, forty something but she felt young. Liam didn’t budge an inch until we heard the tires in the drive way come to a screeching halt in the dirt gravel road. I heard the one of the doors fly open then the front door shortly after that. Lysander was already kneeling in front of me.

"Eve?" His hug was urgent but gentle. Liam got up and went outside followed shortly by Lupa. Lysander held on to me even as he got up to sit on the couch. "I can’t believe you up. How do you feel?"

"If I tell you the truth I want you to promise that you invite my parents over for Christmas, I don’t care if there are fifty werewolves living here they are my family too. Do you promise?" He nodded. "I feel like I’ve been dissected by a sixth grade science class. I’m hungry but I threw up and I’ll probably do it again and I don’t think I can walk up the stairs unless you or someone else carries me."

"Is that all of it?" He was enraged by my pain, something else was wrong.

"What is it? What happened?"

"Liam said that there were six of them." I nodded, he took a moment. "I’ve never heard of there being a group of that size since the creation of them. They normal group in packs of two maybe three. Groups that large are a big threat to our kind."

I placed my head on Lysander’s chest then listen to his heart and wasn’t sure what to think. This was all new to me and I felt unsure of myself and slightly confused. I sat there and waited for him to say something. He said nothing for five minutes, I almost drifted back to sleep but I didn’t want to sleep, I wanted to talk.

"What are you thinking?"

"Hunting." He said flatly. "Rollo and Lupa stayed with us because Liam has never hunted them and I well I haven’t done it since I left Sibel. Liam told us he saw you decapitate two and he followed suit. How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"How to kill them?"

"Umm zombie movies." I laughed and Lysander didn’t. "In zombie movies them biting you was bad, but they only why you could kill them was the head. I figured I wouldn’t put a zombie in my mouth, why would I put them in my mouth."

"There blood is very poisonous. Your instincts were good even if they were based off of movies." I sat up Lysander looked at me as if I was about to jump off a cliff. "Are you alright?"

"Sander you are perfect but you are so serious. I mean can’t you be happy I’m alive?" Lysander seemed shocked and hurt by my words. He leaned closer to me and grabbed both my hands.

"I’ve been very worried about you. I nearly killed Sibel when you where hurt. Do you remember anything after the Fay?"

"Fay poison. It’s a toxin that affects our ability to think clearly and even see clearly. It’s the smell of cake that used rotten eggs and rotten milk to make it with. That’s what I think it smells like at least."

"It’s a hard smell to pin down but I understand."

"I thought I was going to die." Lysander held me and my eyes weld up. I stopped myself from crying by kissing him. Everything went away when we kissed and I wanted everything to go away. Suddenly I fell back to sleep during a kiss with Lysander.

I woke up on the couch because Lysander was in the kitchen auguring with Rollo about seasoning meat. Liam was reading a book on the couch across from me. He smiled when he saw I was awake.

"You checked out again."

"What day is it?" He laughed and I smiled.

"Same day but six hours later." I laughed now. I felt better and I think I looked it to though I was still really hungry. "Dinner will be in like an hour but maybe I can got sneak something out of there."

Liam got up and left the room, I heard Rollo and Lysander become silent when Liam entered. After that they shuffled around the kitchen in a rush. I didn’t know why they were acting like that. Lupa walked through the door and smiled when she saw me sitting up. She dropped the bags and sat down next to me while she was pulling off her mittens.

"You are one lucky pup." She saw me frown when she called me a pup. "It’s unpleasant to be called it. But own it, you’re only a pup once. You’re so young. Luck does tend to favor the young maybe that’s it."

"I’ve never spoken to you before." She was so kind but I was so worn from my experiences that I had to state the obvious. She smiled kindly.

"That’s very true but really after everything there really isn’t a point of acting like strangers. Rollo and I are going to stay here with you and Lysander and Liam to help out. I get the feeling that we won’t stay here forever." She got up and walked to kitchen then snapped at the guys. "Why aren’t any of you out there with her?"

Another scramble in the kitchen where Lupa made huffing noises of annoyance and Liam, Rollo, and Lysander came bursting out. It was sort of funny seeing three men act like this. They acted as if I were as fragile as a snowflake. Rollo stood between the kitchen and the living room. He didn’t want to interfere with our family moment but he didn’t want to be kicked out of the kitchen again. He walked upstairs while Lysander sat down next to me and Liam fussed with a bowl of yogurt.

"Ah yogurt should help your stomach. It’s vanilla…" Liam said it like he was trying to make it better. Somehow we both knew yogurt was never going to be good. I smiled and ate it hoping I wouldn’t see it again anytime soon. "How is it?"

"Yogurty?" I finished it and put the bowl down. They were still looking at me. "Can you guys stop looking at me? I feel self-conscious. It’s really sweet but I’m not a side show. Why don’t you go running or maybe play Xbox or read. I don’t know."

"Alright." Liam left and Lysander stood up to follow.

"Whoa, where are you going? You and I had a bit of a fight before I went all Indiana Jones and discovered the Fay gang." He sat back down and scratched his head.

"Drop it. It was dealt with. She’s gone, I forbid here to come around here anymore and that’s that." He seemed uncomfortable in his own skin I wasn’t used to seeing Lysander so unwound. "What? These past weeks I’ve been worried and panicked. I had to think about what I was going to tell your parents…tell Serena…if you…had…"

I hugged him pulling close to me. He wasn’t good with the thought of me not being around. I’d had gone through the same thing with him, except he’d been fine by the next morning. He was left in the dark for over two weeks on whether or not I would wake up.

"I’m sorry." He held on tight to me. Liam and Rollo walked back into the room and Lysander snapped back into his normal self.
"Hey Liam and I are going to go see a movie. Did you want to come?" I wanted to get out of the house but I didn’t want to get up, so I shook my head no. "Okay umm Lupa, sweetheart, movie?"

"Oh what movie?"

"It’s a surprise." Liam said with a giant smile. Lupa said alright and went upstairs to get her coat. "It’s a werewolf movie and we don’t want to tell her. She’d try to makes go to a chick flick."

When Lupa came back down they left. Lysander went and finished a dinner for us. He came back in a tray of food and then he put on a movie and we ate and watched. After the movie Lysander cleaned up then after us then after a failed attempt of walking without help he picked me and carried me up the stairs. He laid me on the bed and then paused. Lysander and I stared at each other for a long time then he kissed me, for no other reason than he wanted to kiss me.

I woke up first, before anyone else in the house. I crept out off the bedroom, found my nearly dead cell phone, and put on a change of clothing. I then went outside, it smelled like Christmas to me. This time of year was always spiecal to me and to my mom. The snow from the day before was melting away, a few clumps still held on and the air around me told me there would be more to come. After a few moments of enjoying myself I called my mom.

"Evey? Oh your voice sounds so good! How are you? Where are you?" My mother had never sounded more anxious then at this moment.

"Oh mom, it’s good to hear your voice to. I’m good, I just got back yesterday. I wanted to know if you wanted to come over for Christmas, you could spend the night even. We have a spear room…" I was thinking my room because it was no longer odd for me to be in Lysander’s room. "Lysander has his aunt and uncle over and we have Liam too. Maybe even Serena."

"Well sounds like a party. I don’t know." I heard her speak to my father in the background, the conversation sounded unfortunate. "You father isn’t really up to going over there. What if you come over here?"

I didn’t want to go there. That home was filled with a infesting anger that bore deep into your skin. I wanted to be happy, it didn’t matter to me if my father was being unreasonable. To be honest I didn’t want to see him. I’d always felt like he and I were playing to different movies in our heads and his always had a negative, aggressive side. My movie went there at times, normally he was the star of those times but I came back to a better place. I paused for a long time trying to think off the right way to word what I wanted to say.

"Mom I’ve got my family here. You’re welcome to come. As for dad I don’t care. I’m sure he doesn’t want to talk to anyone here anyways. He’s the reason Eden and Ellen never come home and why Dean never even calls. I’m sorry, I’m not going there for Christmas."

"Sweetheart…" She was upset and I’d automatically felt bad for it but I knew I wouldn’t give in either. "We’ll be there. Okay baby?"

"Okay." I heard my father in the background already protesting the newly made plans. I shut my phone closed and walked back into the house. Lysander sprinting down the steps then nearly lost his footing when he saw me.

"I thought." He pulled me into a hug. "What’s wrong with you? I thought you went and did something stupid."

"Well of course I did, but I told you I was going to do this stupid thing. I invited my parents over."

"Okay. Well then, umm one thing." Lysander looked at with a smirk. "Liam’s Jewish."

"Ohmygod." I pushed all my hair back and was shocked by my own stupidity. "I totally forgot, umm, should I do anything?"

"It’s fine. Technically I’m not even Christian. I was born before Christ." I never put that together before. That sort of rocked my world, I felt unsure of myself. "It’s alright, I never met him. If that make you feel any better."

"What can you possibly see in me? I’m only eighteen. I’m so…" I couldn’t think of the right word to say to him in that moment. Age had never really mattered to me at this point. I hadn’t thought much about anything other then the now and maybe that was wrong.

"Young?" He smiled to himself, it was almost like a inside joke he had with himself. "Most things are. I’ve only met fifty or so werewolves that are older. The eldest is Sandulf. God only knows how old his is, he’s the true alpha. I’ve met him only twice. Once with my maker and the last was when I was bounded to Sibel."

"You didn’t answer my question."

"Yes well I can’t. Believe it or not in all the time I’ve been alive I’ve never been able to solve that question. Why I love one person or hate another. I do though and maybe Liam going to that party and that crash was all a part of me finding you. That first night I saw you, all bloody, you maybe had ten minutes before you lost all your blood. You had at least five broken bones and you where paralyzed. I didn’t get it, why Liam had to save you. That’s why I kept watch over you. I had to know. He requested that I stay away, I couldn’t. I convinced him to go to your school, he was already planning to before it all happened but he thought we would have to move again."

"It’s funny, I think he bit you to have a future with you. His luck with girls has always been bad. Ula, you, and a few others, all of them were weres. Maybe Serena works for him because she’s not a werewolf. I’ve had pretty bad luck too; maybe that’s the curse for the men in my family. I kid you not; all the men in my family either fall in love with the wrong girl, cheat on the right girl, or watch the girl they love die or die in battles."

"Bad luck? That’s your answer to me?"

"No, I think after two thousand five hundred and nine years, I finally caught a break and got lucky." He kissed my hand. "Was that the answer you where looking for?"

"Close enough for now. But I don’t know half the things you do. No probably like two thousand four hundred ninety years worth of things."

"You’ll caught up." His kissed my lips gently. I knew I our augment was over about this but I didn’t know what to do about Christmas.

"Christmas?"

"Liam’s father was Christian before he converted to marry his mother. I’m guessing Liam won’t mind exploring his father’s heritage. Though is you got him a yarmulke I doubt he’d refuse to wear it."

Lysander looked younger and older to me now. I didn’t know how else to put it other than that. I was tired again; I still didn’t feel like myself, I felt a lot better than I did yesterday but I wasn’t well enough to be up and about all day. I grabbed a box of coco puffs and walked up to Lysander’s room. It sort of made me laugh that I went straight to his room. I barely went in my own and that made me feel worse because Liam had gone all out in making my room welcoming gift to me. I suddenly wanted to apologize to Liam. I felt like I’d forgotten about the guy who had been looking out for me, the guy that had rescued me from the Fay.

I fell onto the bed, my body was suddenly exhausted but my mind was racing. I felt like I’d already gone through a long day and all I did was talk to my arguing parents and find out that my Lysander was older then Jesus. I wasn’t sure what I should call Lysander after last night, calling him my husband felt weird, boyfriend felt too understated. My mind was never really able to shut up, I over thought and stressed myself out even before now. Oddly adding all these crazy supernatural things eased my mind by enabling me any piece or quiet. I pulled out a piece of paper and made a list of thing I would tell Lysander we needed. I wasn’t sure if they ever celebrated holidays in general, nether one ever celebrated Christmas. The list was just a helping hand to set them on the right track.

Liam wondered into the room later that day and woke me by knocking. He smiled casually when I wiped the drool from my face. He sat down on a chair that was next to the dresser.

"Lysander told me we’re celebrating Christmas. Your parents are coming over." I nodded, I was body was still clinging on to sleep. I forced myself to sit up. "Yes, okay this is new. Christmas. Guess I can’t get to mad that forgot about Hanukah. You sort of slept right through it."

"Sorry about that."

"Well you have years to make it up to me." We both laughed. I handed him the list of things we would need for the up and coming Christmas. He studied it like the scholar he was then looked back up at me.

"You really thought we couldn’t figure this much out? Tree? Tree ornaments?" He got up and tussled my hair to annoy me and I swatted him away. "A little faith please?"

"Never." I said sarcastically as I wrapped the blanket around me. "Don’t screw it up."

Liam left the room without another word. I wasn’t able to fall back asleep so I grabbed Liam’s journal. I figured that there isn’t much else to do but read.

November 2nd 1931

"Here, just not in that house." I might have sounded crazy but everything about that house now made me sick. Perhaps I am over reacting but I can’t see how if I am. I walked in on my first love on top of another man in my bed. Just thinking of it now made me throw up a little in my mouth.

"You know tomorrow night is a full moon. You can’t stay here in the city. You can have tonight to yourself." He seemed concerned and that made me feel childish. "It’s not that I don’t trust you, it unfortunately it’s our time of the month. Clear your head tonight tomorrow I’ll pick you up at ten in the morning. I’ll talk to Rafe, it was a disrespectful thing he did."

"I can’t ever go talk to them." I knew that wasn’t the right thing to say to anyone, but epically not Lysander but I couldn’t stop myself from saying it. Lysander didn’t need classification on who I was talking about.

"If you wanted to turn them you could, because how else could you explain me or your disappearance?" Lysander was dead serious and I knew he wasn’t kidding "Talking to your sister. That means she leaves behind your mother, her children, and her husband. I know you would want to do that."

I looked back at the door that my sister had walked through and still wanted to talk to her. I still wanted to see my family that I had given up without a second thought. I now wish I’d waited, I wouldn’t change what I am now but I wanted to have time with them.

"I’ll drop you off Waldorf Hotel. Come on." Lysander dropped money on the table then ushered me to walk back to the car. We drove to the hotel where Lysander handed me a thousand dollars. I nearly dropped it. "You have a lot of time ahead of you; my purpose doesn’t need to be your purpose. Oh by the way, I want you to spend all of it."

I shoved it in my pocket and walked into the hotel. The man behind the counter was shocked when I asked for the best room and paid in cash. I still had over half the money. I went up to the hotel suit and looked out the window. I’d never been in a building so high. It only one o’clock when I shoved the money in my pocket and went around the city there were people around me none of them knew me or would ever look my way. I was unthreatening to them; they couldn’t tell I was different, even though I stood out in every way. My skin glowed like new, my eyes popped out with details, and my muscles where more defined. Actually I never had much muscle to begin with so this new development was quite amazing to me. I walked down the streets and took my time; the depression seemed to hit a lot of people.

I heard people talking about movies. I’d never seen one. My father thought them a waste of time and money that we couldn’t waste. I had money to waste; I was given directions by homeless man who had a suit on. I gave him twenty dollars for the direction and he started to cry, he even gave me a hug for the money. I spotted a music store, it was run down and going out of business and was drawn into it. I’d always loved music; I’d never touched an instrument. In the window I saw a guitar and I wanted to touch it. I nearly ran to the man who owned the shop. I told him I wanted the guitar. I walked out with it in a case and then when I found myself walking back to the hotel to put it in a safe spot.

I got back to the hotel and dropped it off then took a shower. I dressed up fixing my hair just so and putting on my clothes. I’d felt better and when I looked I looked in the mirror I smiled, I saw me again. I’d been wrapped up in her and Lysander’s new world that I forgot to add me into that mix. I’d never fought to have me matter. I walked to the movie theater and handed the ticket giver a quarter to get in. I walked in hardly believing it. I walked into the theater and sat in the middle of the theater not sure what I was even seeing I looked down at my ticket, Platinum Blonde.

It about this reporter, Stew, he falls for a girl, Anne, who’s rich and beautiful. He’s not rich but Anne wonder’s if she could turn him into something he wasn’t and they eloped. Her mother hated him and he didn’t fit in with her crowd. She tried to change him, giving him a valet and a new look but he never wanted to be a kept husband. He punched another reporter for suggesting he should sign a new column as "Anne Schuyler’s Husband". His best friend, who was a woman secretly pining for him, Gallagher was helping him write a play but Anne instantly hated her. After one night when his friend partied at their home she was mad and he why he couldn’t have friends in his house. And she replied "Your house?"Then he and Gallagher return to his apartment where he says the end of the play, which was based on his marriage, would end with him divorcing his rich wife and marrying the woman who he’d always loved without realizing it.

I walked out of the theater still thinking about the movie. Maybe Ula was my Anne, and one day I would find my Gallagher. I walked down to the hotel and I order room service. I ate and read a book until finally my eye lids could no longer stay open.

November 5th 1931

I just woke up; it’s nearly seven and my realized my adventure of being alone in the city was almost over. Was I ready to go back? I don’t think I am. I feel like a big "what if" in my life had occurred. What if I hadn’t told her to leave? What if she’d never kissed me? What if I had returned to the house twenty minutes later then I had? All the "what ifs" I had kept flouting to the surface of my never quiet mind. I asked myself the two questions that I had avoided because my rage was easier to hold on to. Could I forgive her? Did still have feelings for her?

Outside my window I sat and watched people walking and cars driving by wondering if anyone alive or dead ever when through my predicament. I highly doubted it but it was easier to hope someone did and they came out better for it then to think this would always be a painful moment that did nothing to help me. Lysander opened the door without knocking. He was early, three hours early. I smelled him before he opened the door so I didn’t need to move or look away from the people below.

"You’re not ready. Eh, I’m early. How was last night? Did you spend all your money?" I shook my head. I think I had well over four hundred dollars left and I handed back to Lysander who side. "You still have over two hours; you could do a lot of damage with this money."

"I bought a guitar, saw a movie, and ate room service. What else would you have me do?" Lysander shrugged his shoulders. Then I saw someone ride by on a motorcycle and a smile came across my face. "I want one."

"What what." Lysander was looking out the same window as me and completely over looked it.

"Motorcycle, I’m going to buy myself a motorcycle." I started picking up my things and was ready to leave in minutes. Lysander was smiling and shaking his head at me as if I told him I was flying to the moon but I got the feeling he was happy just to see me happy.

He let me put everything in his car before I bought it. A Indian Scout, it was black and shined in the sun light. It felt right, I sat on it and I handed the man the money and before I knew it I was driving it home. Even in this moment though I dreaded my destination, my home wasn’t my home with them there.

I pulled up and carefully placed my new bike. I walked to Lysander who put his hand on my shoulder; he said everything without saying anything. I walked in first unsure of who I would see. I was unprepared when I saw Ula and Rafe holding hands on the couch I clenched my fists together and walked passed them to the kitchen I stayed there without saying a word. I was no longer allowed my peace though, I wasn’t alone in a room like I was. I now was in a house with too many people in it. I had helped built a house for two men to live in. It was large enough for maybe four people, it had now held seven but it might as well be a hundred with how cramped it all felt.

I started shoving food in my mouth, not caring if it even tasted good, I was eating to be having something to do. I had just shoved a large biscuit with gravy smothered on it when Ula walked into the room and sat down across from me. I stood up when she stopped me.

"Please I don’t want to kick you out. I didn’t even know if I should come in here. Please just listen to what I have to say." I sat down still chewing on the biscuit. "Thank you. Okay, umm, after I’d left the waterfall I was upset. Rafe invited me into his room…"

"My room." I said even spitting food into the air. Ula paused for a moment then continued.

"I was just talking to him. I was crying and he kissed me and everything happened so fast. I never wanted to hurt you. Maybe we happened too fast. I still…" She stopped herself from finishing. "Rafe and I are…"

"Holding hands. You make me sick." I finally swallowed my mouth full of food. "You kissed me and you kissed him. You are a cheat."

I stood up and walked outside and grabbed the guitar from Lysander’s car. I strummed the new guitar and just relaxed into that sound. I did this for a long time till I started to notice the night starting to fall. I put my guitar away and back in the car and took off my shirt and shoes. I wasn’t going to take off anything else. I was going to change with my pants on. I was going to change as soon as possible; Lysander came out with a robe on staring at me.

"How are you holding up?"

"I just want to change. I don’t want to feel like a human."

Lysander didn’t try to convince me of otherwise, he let me just be. I stood there unsure about the change for the first time. My stomach was on edge and my heart was beating fast, I probably shouldn’t have eaten as much as I had but maybe it never mattered. Rollo walked out of the house with Lupa I wasn’t in the mood to here anymore explanations from anyone.

"Hello fellas."Rollo said causally, Lupa now looked at him lovingly. "Almost time again to change. You guys ready to go hunting for…"

"Nothing. Liam isn’t going to hunt."

Suddenly I realized something; Ula was a major distraction for my mind. It never asked why there where here. Why they showed up and needed a place to search for something. What was it that they hunted for? I was so wrapped up in Ula that I forgot I’d even had a brain let alone using it. I looked at Lysander and Rollo. I was jealous of Rollo, he has the girl of his dreams and knowledge that Lysander made clear without saying a word that I was not to know. I hated it; I read and learned things because I liked having the answers. Now I was in the dark because of my maker Lysander. He wanted to protect me but I didn’t understand from what. I stood looking out into the woods in wonderment of what I was being blocked from. I wondered if this was the only thing I wasn’t told about. What if Lysander had built a wall around him and I to block me from knowing anything about the new world that he had brought me into?

"Ca me fait chier! Rester à un nouveau-né?!" Rollo broke into full-fledged French. I hadn’t a clue what he had said but Lupa’s face had said a lot. Rollo I got the feeling that he’d was defending me or maybe he was disgusted by Lysander. Lysander walked up to Rollo and stood in inch in front of Rollo. I’d never seen him this aggressive towards one of our own kind, Rollo didn’t back down or look away in fear as I may have instead he spat a sentence at him. "C'est mauvais et vous le savez!"

"Back down." Lysander said it in almost a whisper. Rollo took a step back behind Lupa who nearly bowed to Lysander. It looked weird to me; Lysander looked like he could be her son with the age gap between them and yet Lysander was maybe three times her elder. "Those are my wishes that Rafe agreed to for all of you. Now if you don’t mind."

Lysander changed instantly, followed by Lupa and then Rollo. I paused for a moment as Lysander, Rollo, and Lupa ran into the woods. I stood thinking hard the sun was setting and soon I wouldn’t have the choice of staying human. The change takes you over and you can no longer control your body’s reaction. It’s a terrifying freeing experience that truly can’t be duplicated by any other thing. Rafe ran past me into the woods in a furry, Ulric wasn’t far behind it looked like he was trying to catch up to Rafe. I knew who was left behind me, her breathing overly controlled as if she was counting every inhale and exhale.

"I told him he was a major mistake." I paused hearing what she was saying yet my heart was still cold and unwilling to forgive. "I missed you. Yesterday. It’s sort of odd isn’t it? I mean I’ve only known you for a week. Not even. I think I…"

I changed, it wasn’t of my choice but I was glad when it came. She changed quickly behind me. I chased after Lysander’s scent and then stopped myself. He wouldn’t be where the action was, where the knowledge was. I turned so quickly I fell down. Ula’s grey wolf form stared at me and then beckoned me with her head to follow her. I did, she was with the group that would teach me something new. I kept up with her, she knew where the rest of them were heading. I tried smelling the others but couldn’t smell them. I couldn’t even hear them. I made sure to always keep Ula in my sights, until I did hear something new.

I first heard sounds that I couldn’t identify. It wasn’t like footsteps but I knew something was moving. Then the lights, it was a dark light as if black could be turned into a light. I was less than ten feet away and yet I couldn’t get a clear view. All the trees and brush blocked my view, I was about to jump over the brush when Lysander’s great white wolf form tackled me to the ground. I wimped onto the ground, I would never fight Lysander and he backed away from me and turned on Ula. She ran away to the black light and I knew I was not going to find what the black light was. This made me upset but I knew better then to make a stand here. I walked in front of Lysander until I heard a long howl.

The howl was Rafe, I wasn’t sure what it meant it was like a message for Alpha’s only. Lysander then lead me to a field there was a cougar there it was stalking a herd of deer. Lysander was giving me a hunt like he’d always given me. I looked at it; it was in true hunting form all its scenes where on edge. Eyes locked on the weakest link of the deer’s below. I wanted to wait a little longer; I wanted to take it completely by surprise. It took off for the deer and I took off for him. It jumped inches away from talking down a young doe when I forced him to the ground. My mouth fit around his neck and I stood there, the cougar waited for death. I was death for this animal, it accepted that fact. It was nature we both had an understanding in that moment, after all this was one hunter to another, I couldn’t do it. Something shifted inside of me and I hesitated. I took my mouth off of his neck and he stood up in a defensive position. I turned around and the cougar took off.

I walked with my head held down, this hunt wasn’t right anymore. It was so very wrong that we would choose to hunt like this when the others. They were hunting the black light. I looked up on the hill that Lysander was sitting on. He watched me and I didn’t know if he understood why I did what I had just done. Never before had hunting been wrong while I was in my new wolf form, it was now. It felt empty and hollow to hunt that cougar and now I still felt it coursing through my veins. Nothing was right tonight and I took off running pushing myself harder then I’d ever pushed.

Running wasn’t right but it wasn’t wrong either, running was like being caught between right and wrong. It was the grey area and soon the morning would come and I could be a human again. Human wasn’t right either but I no longer felt comfortable in my own skin or fur. I ran to close to the city I couldn’t stop myself from going deeper in. The streets where near empty except for a few drunken homeless men who appeared to be passed out. I walked down the street and to an apartment complex I had avoided when I was a human. It was where my family was now sleeping. I found a fire escape and started to climb, I was risking a lot to see them but I didn’t care. This felt right.

I stopped and looked in a window. There was a crib with my sleeping was my nephew and I was happy. I knew he was my nephew because he had the same black hair my father had had. I wanted more then what this. I laid down on the metal grates and feel asleep while I was watching him.

I woke up as a human, he was crying I lifted the window and climbed in. I grabbed a blanket that was folded in the corner of the room and picked up the baby. He was perfect, he calmed almost instantly in my arms. I’d felt my heart melt and looked at him. We shared the same green eyes and I wanted nothing more than to stay here forever bonding with my nephew. Then I heard someone waking up and I knew it was time to leave. I took the blanket and hopped out the window and took off for the woods. I got a few looks from the homeless men dressed in suits but I didn’t care. I made it back to the house with a lightened heart and realized that no one was here. I relaxed onto the couch and went to sleep again.

November 3rd 1931

Lysander came into the house and saw me. He threw my journal at me and looked furious. It hurt but I didn’t make a noise. He paced around the room for a bit while I adjusted myself into a sitting position and waited. Lysander sat down and looked at me.

"Well? You aren’t going to tell me?" I wasn’t sure what he had meant. Until he tugged at the blanked that I had wrapped around me like a toga. "I know where you went. I know that you went into their home. You risked EVERYTHING!"

I knew that I would have to pay for my moment of happiness because I’d had to pay for it a lot lately. Lysander was mad but he calmed himself before he spoke again. Maybe to make it easier to talk to him or maybe it was so he wouldn’t change in the middle of this conversation.

"I’d let you have some space and you break the rules. I thought you’d left with them." He took a deep breath and then I realized what he had just said.

"They left?"

"Yes, they got what they came for and they left. The howl? That was them saying good bye. That’s why I thought you needed some space and then you go into the city? AS A WOLF?" He paused gathering his thoughts again. "You went into the apartment and you held him? Stupid! I can’t… You need to swear you’ll never do this again! Swear!"

"I sw…" I almost said it but I knew if I did it would be a lie. I didn’t want to lie to Lysander. After all he’d given me a new life and loved me as a brother, son, uncle, and teacher. "I can’t."

"We’ll have to move. I can’t let you kill them, because that is what you are doing by entering their home." Lysander looked around the house and sighed. "I know of some family on the west coast. They have different last names."

"They are your fourth cousins. Rett,is the last name. It was your father’s father’s sister’s children’s children."

December 23rd 2009

"What?" I looked at the name that had been gone over in black sharpie. I put my finger over the word and tried to feel out the name. It was possibly the key to knowing why Lysander and Liam had shown up to my small town. Why I had become a werewolf. Lysander walked into the room and jumped onto the bed playfully, it made want to smile but I was wondering why Liam had blacked out the name. I shoved the book to Lysander and pointed at the blacked out name.

"What is this?" He looked at me puzzled.

"It’s Liam’s Journal. That is the name of your family that you’ve been protecting. The one that has to go to our school and is a guy. Liam wouldn’t have blacked out the name unless I knew who they could be." Lysander put his serous face on and he scratched his head. "I know you know because these are your words."

"It’s complicated. I know and Liam does, but we don’t talk to him or say his name. Because Sibel, she would love to ahh change his life. He’s the last one. He is the only one who is caring my blood directly. If he’s changed or dies before having a son or a daughter, for that matter." He looked sadly at me. "It would be the end of my mission in life."

He lowered himself onto the bed and folded his arms behind his head. I looked at him and couldn’t find words. He would be free of a duty that he’d forced himself into over a thousand years ago. Maybe he was afraid of that freedom or maybe he’d liked feeling attached the human world. I didn’t know how to comfort something like this. Perhaps there wasn’t a way, but I’d felt like I’d given up early on the search for one. He suddenly sat up and kissed me. It was urgent as if he was trying to tell me something besides the physical of the kiss then pulled away.

"My protecting has to end anyway. We have to move. Rollo and Lupa will show us how to do it."

"Do what?"

"Become nomads. Unfortunately something is happening with the Fay. If they are gathering in such big numbers then they are planning something."

"Why didn’t you tell me before?" Lysander paused for a moment stealing another kiss.

"Because I didn’t want you to worry while you’re still healing. I wanted to let you graduate with your friends." I now understood while he took the kisses while he could. I was suddenly sad and angry, but I found myself understanding. "I haven’t told Liam."

"Serena?" Liam was happy and if I knew anything about their relationship it was that they cared about each other very deeply and they understood how the other would feel if let’s say they had to leave there girlfriend. Liam nodded his head and his forehead scrunched up as if trying to think very heavily. I wouldn’t like leaving this place. It was after all my home, I was raised in southern Oregon since I was five. I would tell people I wanted to leave Oregon faster than fast but truth was I wasn’t sure if I would ever be strong enough. At the same time I wouldn’t make this any harder on Lysander. Liam would be forgiving too, but he would hold it all in until he couldn’t any longer. A thought randomly crossed my mind. "Would he try and turn her?"

"No. He still feels guilty about you. Not as much now that we…" He didn’t know what to call what we were. Not like I did either and an uncomfortable second stalled his speech. "He may ask me to bite here."

"Could I?" As soon as I said it, I realized what I had said. I was asking if I could bite my friend. I laughed at the strangeness of it but the thought of being able to completely change some one’s whole being by biting them seemed empowering.

"No, I forbid you to bite anyone." His Alpha tone ringed in his sentence and his face twisted into a angered face. "You are only what you are now because you were going to die otherwise. Serena is healthy, happy, and well adjusted. Would you take all that away from her? I thought you two were friends."

I felt guilty now. I wouldn’t want to take away anything from Serena but that same feeling went to Liam. Couldn’t he stay? Maybe he could stay and graduate, take Serena to the Crater High School’s version of Prom. Prom meant cheap cart paper hung on the walls and hay bales used to make things. I believe this year the prom theme was Casablanca, god only knows how they are going to make the school cafeteria into anything that would make you think Casablanca was the original concept. Last year the theme was A Mid Summer’s Night Dream, it felt like more of
"inside a barn" theme. Though most of the guys in the school had dressed like princes they all ended up looking like Bottom. Though another random thought passed through my scattered brain, Lysander at my prom. Him in a nice suit, looking completely out of place, but there to be with me. I smiled but then quickly saddened after the realization of it never happening.

I must have been quiet for a long time because Lysander face twisted back from anger to a calm concern. He leaned up to stare at my face more comfortably. I lifted my hand and put it on his cheek. I face felt on fire, as did mine. Since the change I ran hotter making the whole running around naked when you had to change a lot easier. He forced a smile though his eyes still were filled with worry. I leaned up to kiss him when Liam knocked on the door.

"Hey, umm, Serena is here." Serena popped up next to him as if by magic. Lysander and I hadn’t moved. My hand was still on his face and his and my body where in fairly suggestive poses.

"Oh, did he interrupt you two?" Serena said ready to apologize at any moment. I reluctantly got up; Lysander continued to force a smile and got up. Lysander took Liam downstairs while Serena stayed up with me. "I’m sorry."

"Oh it’s fine. We’ll have other times." It was weird to have here walk in on my moment with Lysander but now I’d felt we had been made equal from her flashing me in fancy underwear. "How are you?"

"I should be asking you that. It’s been almost three weeks since we’ve spoken or texted or anything." To be fair it had only been three days for me. "Liam told me you got really sick and he’d been acting real funny but… Are you alright?"

"I was pretty sleepy?" It was meant to be a statement but came out as a question. It made me cringe inside to lie to her but I couldn’t see a way around it. She could tell, maybe I was done hiding it from her but it wasn’t a good thing for her to see threw the line.

"You’re not telling me something." She lunged for my stomach and started patting it, inspecting it. "Are you with child?"

"With child? No." I laughed. Me being pregnant wasn’t going to happen unless it was immaculate conception. "You know I’m still a…"

She and I shared a look with each other. She knew what I was going to say even though I hadn’t finished. Lysander and I had gotten close to that level of intimacy but I blushed at the thought. Serena and I sat silent both of us thinking. She was thinking how a married hormonal teenager wasn’t having sex with her extremely attractive slightly older husband. I thought that same thing without the slightly older part and I thought about how I could twist this to make scene. We both sat down and I started biting at my fingernails, Serena stared intensely at me.

"What are you hiding? Don’t lie to me. Liam is hiding something too…" Her eye’s widen and she looked like someone had stabbed her in the butt the way see jumped out of the chair. "You aren’t fooling around with Liam right?"

"No!" I felt like I was accused of dating a brother. How could some so smart be so off the mark. Then an idea popped into my head. "I can’t tell you here. Do you have plans to do anything with Liam?"