September 27th 1931: Liam’s Journal

This book was the first thing I’ve ever bought in America. Most people here don’t notice Lysander or I, we don’t stand out here in all the hustle and bustle. We traveled aboard the LZ 127 Graf Zeppelin, I’d never have thought I would have gotten to do this. Lysander seems to have a never ending supply of money, I’d asked him about it he said that money is not a concern for us and there is no need to worry about it. Lysander is even dragging me to a tailor to get new clothing, later he says after night came I’d change for the first time. I look forward to it. In the morning we will start to build a house. I’ve never build one before so new experiences all around. Tonight is my first full moon, the first since I was bit. He says the change is like nothing I’ve ever known or seen. It worries me to know that I will feel pain, I hate pain since Lysander had bit me I have felt healthy. Also I gone into fits of pure rage, before we left Germany. I ran into the woods and tore down trees. After I had released all that rage into the trees I had felt much better. I was never so angry before the bite. I fear it is something I will not be able to control, also I have found no sleep and yet I have not felt tired. Lysander tells me this is normal but he doesn’t leave my side for very long. I think he fears I might do something replaced or something that would reveal us for what we are. I heard talk of the Great Depression here in the United States it reminded me of my old home. All the unemployment in New York City was amazing, I was thankful that my sister had married a successful banker in the city. Lysander and I walked past it on our way to the tailor. It was one of the tallest buildings in the city I wondered what it looked like from the top. Lysander wouldn’t allow me to wonder into the building. We would protect our family but they must not know of our presents. My sister must live near the building; I hadn’t seen her since her marriage almost five years ago. Now my mother was living with her and I couldn’t imagine what pain they must of felt having lost me. I know I’d felt a lot missing them. Even more when I thought about the nephew I would never meet but I would protect him and one day his children and his children’s children. At least that was what Lysander was planning to do and has done.

It took over two hour with the tailor who said our new clothing would be done in one week. Lysander laid down an extra one hundred dollars to have it done in four days. I could not believe this was my reality now. I had never been truly poor but I had never had extra money. I followed Lysander into a fancy restaurant name Maxl it was amazing. It was perfect. I think I ate the two of the most expensive cuts of meat known to man. Lysander ate more than me the waiter was overjoyed when Lysander left a fifty dollar bill as a tip. I was shocked by this spending of money. Lysander was not worried in the slightest and laughed when I asked if we should not spend. He looked at me and said "That man will be able to feed his family for weeks." When I asked how he could possible know he had a family Lysander pointed out a wedding ring. Lysander never missed anything and I can only hope I turn out like him. After we left Maxl, Lysander lead the way into the piece of land he had bought before I was born. That’s all he would tell me about the land.

September 28th 1931

We walked for awhile out of Maxls until we met fewer and fewer people and then we ran. We ran into a forest then Lysander told me to remove all my clothes. At first I thought he was making a joke, then when he removed his clothes. I suddenly knew I had to. Lysander told me we were in a new land and that I would forever remember that my first change was here in the land of the free and home of the brave. It was a corny sentiment but the change was not. The moon came and my body twisted internally, I had never imagined that my body could feel this way. It felt as if my body was rejecting itself, my body felt as if it were at war with itself my soul was being torn apart. I suddenly wished for death it would have been easier. As fast as the pain arrived it left me and I was no longer human. I was walking on all fours and I looked ahead of me and saw a giant white wolf. The same one I had seen around Germany. It was Lysander it had to be. He looked amazing and noble like the head of a royal family. I thought about bowing to the wolf. There was no time because the beautiful white wolf ran off, I chased after it. We ran until we ran into a large male black bear. I suddenly I knew what to do. Lysander didn’t help me take it down I just knew how to. We were close to the same size and yet I took him down like he was ant.

I woke up alone and naked in the woods. I didn’t know where I was. I was also naked and in a different country. I wasn’t sure what the USAs policies where on being naked but I knew that it wouldn’t go over well in Germany it would do to well here. I hadn’t been left alone since September thirteenth after my father’s death. I didn’t attend the funeral I had asked Lysander to take me away before the funeral because I could no longer look my mother in the eye. If I would have gone synagogue with my parents this would not be issue, I could have protected my father. I had to stop thinking about that part of my life it was over and there was no point in looking back at that night. I would look after my family and protect them. I looked around me and could see the city from here. I knew I couldn’t go into the city naked so I looked around and found a small pond. It was the cleanest pond I’d ever seen so I cupped some water in my hands and washed my face with it. I slicked my hair back so it was out of my face I knew Lysander was close and I ran towards my feeling. I started to smell him and I knew I was on the right track. Lysander was standing on hill with bags of things. I ran up to him. He had two bags full of just food and then one box of tools and down below was a car. He told me it was a 1931 Cadillac Fleetwood convertible, it was the nicest car I’d ever seen. Lysander took me down to the car and tossed me my clothes from yesterday. I put them on and had never been more excited to put on my clothes. After I changed Lysander told me that we needed to start building.

I had never thought building a house would be so exhausting. Lysander hauled the trees up the hill after I cut them down. Before I knew it I had cut down over twenty trees. I walked up the hill dripping in sweat and asked Lysander what was next. Before the day was out we had all the wood we needed.

September 29th 1931

I was tired, yet when the night came last night I was not tired anymore. Lysander told me that would change again tonight and tomorrow night. Then I would be able to not for a while if I choose. He told me that there were others like us out there and he told me the things I will need to know.

Never hunt humans �" We were human once never forget that.

Never expose yourself as a Were to a human

Unless you plan to kill them

Unless you plan to turn them

Never kill a Werewolf

Unless they killed a Were

Unless they attacked you

Never eat wolfsbane or Mercury �" they kill our kind

One never lives in a place for more than twenty years

If you find a imposter wolf get rid of them

You must get approval from the True Alpha before being bound to your partner

If you turn a Human to a Were they are your reasonability till death on either side

If you find a rouge wolf you must capture and bring to True Alpha

Survive and preserve

I wrote them down as he told them to me so I knew I could go back to look at them. Lysander told me that these where the rules and they have been the rules since he was a "pup" like me. It was hard for me to imagine that he was ever not a werewolf. Even after I had met Sibel.

I told Lysander that I had met his wife and yet it was still odd for me to call her that. He no longer loved her but felt responsible for her. Sibel changed when Lysander bit her, it released a side of her that maybe she didn’t even knew existed inside of her. Lysander did love Sibel the human, I can tell when he told me of his days before being a Werewolf. His son was named after his father, Leonidas. He said his maker let him come home for the birth of his son. Sibel had been so happy to see Lysander because he hadn’t been able to send word from the military and she assumed the worse. Sibel was in the middle of giving birth when she had a complication. She was fading fast, Lysander bit her to save her life. He couldn’t let the love of his human life to die when he could save her. She was unconscious when Lysander found a servant to give his son to his father. Lysander left the Greece and went to Europe with his maker and wife. Lysander told me Sibel killed Lysander’s maker though Lysander could not prove it. She gave him meat that had wolfsbane stuffed in it. She got worse every day. Though Lysander connived himself it was in his head and that Sibel was perfect and he would always love her. They even met the true Alpha who bonded them together. After fifty years Lysander finally saw enough to know Sibel was no longer his Sibel and left after she went to sleep after a change. Lysander went back to Greece and met his son. His father had been dead a long time and was now a old man of fifty one. He had had five children, one boy and four girls. The boy had happened to be preparing for a trip to explore the world around him. He was the eldest and most troublesome. His son asked Lysander to watch over his only son. Lysander divided to become a guardian angel to his grandson and to all of the firstborns in his family.

That’s why we followed my sister to this place. She was the first born after my father had died, she was next on Lysander’s protection list. I would have never been protected by him now except I was allowed to be with him. I was given something. Most people called it a curse and evil. Though I found joy in my change, I found a peace that I cannot describe with words. Perhaps one day this will change and I will wish to rebel from Lysander’s teachings but I cannot imagine a time or a place where I could find Lysander’s wisdom or company to be unwelcome. He shared more about my family tree and about history told and untold that makes me wonder how he could stand doing this alone for so long. It would have been two thousand three hundred and fifty nine years alone following a family that had forgot him. Like a ghost who was trapped to be living yet not truly living among the living. It was sad and I saw sadness in his eyes even when he smiled or laughed. If I was to live like this I will not do that to myself, if one has life however long should it not be a happy one?

Then again if I were to live his life maybe I would think differently or understand him better. I know all these facts yet I have the feeling I will never truly know the long lost relative.

The next morning Lysander and I built our home. He seemed to build a house as fast as a crew of a hundred. He had rarely looked my way for help other than to fetch nails or fetch wood from piles. I never took my eyes of his work. I wanted to learn and watching him seemed normal and natural. Though if I were to do this to anyone else they would be irritated or think I was staring. Lysander knew I was learning. He did the same thing to his maker, he never spoke his name. I knew it was a man because he said him or he or his whenever I asked about his maker. I think Lysander held guilt over Sibel killing him, he always blames himself. When my father died he told me he would have tried except there where to many people, he was unable to change without letting himself becoming a target and he couldn’t go out as a human because then his face would have been known by the people who were attacking. He told me he blamed himself for his death and maybe this is why I bonded with him so easily, I blamed myself for my father too. Werewolf guilt, it seemed to be any other kind of guilt there was, because it was everlasting and it was you who held on to it.

We finished the house on the third day. All it needed was…

　

December 3rd 2009

I would have continued read except Serena jumped on my bed making me drop the book in my hands.

"This is a sweet guest room." I looked at her puzzled. "Lysander told me that you liked to read in the guest room because you wanted peace and quiet."

"Right… So should we go down for dinner?" I wasn’t sure what was going on. All I knew was that she was here for a double date.

"The boys are down there, they are cooking up a storm. I didn’t know Liam could cook." I got up and started to walk towards the door.

"Where are you going?" She asked me and I pointed out the door. "You’re married and I get that but I don’t get that."

She pointed at my out my outfit, I was still wearing my pajamas. I sighed what was the point I though. The guy I was married to wouldn’t even care if I was butt naked on his bed. Oh wait that did happen, though I did sneak out of the room before he woke up. Serena smiled and I sighed, she didn’t realize her new mission in life was pointless but it took her mind off of Liam and the pressure of dating for her.

"My clothes are right there." I now pointed at the closet in the room. Serena looked confused. "Lysander has more clothes then I do. So I use this closet."

"How weird?!" Serena shrugged it off and didn’t ask another question about our closet situation. She shuffled through my closet and tossed a skirt and a V neck dress shirt that I hated and felt like a idiot in but everyone always complimented it. I put it on and the she made me put on heels to walk downstairs in. I did as I was told. Luckily my hair was having one of its good days or else she may have gone farther. We walked down stairs and both guys looked up from the kitchen. Liam looked really nice in his black leather jacket. Then I saw Lysander, if it were possible he looked even more perfect than normal.

"You look beautiful." Liam smiled up at Serena. Lysander stayed quiet, it was worse than anything he could have said. Lysander just stared with a blank face. Serena and Liam didn’t seem to notice anything. Serena and I followed the boys into the dinner room slash kitchen. We sat down as the guys requested us to do and watched them finish cooking. Lysander barley said a word to me I was overly worried that I did something wrong. Liam and Serena might have been all over each other if there wasn’t a table dishes between them. I doubted that Lysander or I where a deterrent for them to make out. Lysander did try to keep some kind of coherent conversation going between them and somehow Serena was lost for words she was giggling at anything Liam happened to mumble at the time. It was like watching a horrible awkward moment in a movie that you think would never happen real life, Lysander was talking just not to me and Liam and Serena were making out with their eyes. Then again they may have been doing something else but I mental blocked myself from going there, I saw naked Liam in real life and I didn’t need to see it in my mind too.

Liam and Serena after dinner decided to take a walk around outside. It the sun was starting go down. I knew Liam would want to take her away from Lysander and myself. I didn’t mind I had a good book to read and things didn’t look so bad after that thought crossed my mind. Lysander looked deep in thought when I left the room, I decided to not care. I didn’t care to bother with another a*s after Bramm. My life was far to complicated anyway. Who needed a marriage where both people liked each other anyway. I jumped back onto my bed and flipped the book back open to the page I was on before I was so rudely interrupted by the double date from Hell.

September 29th 1931

We finished the house on the third day. All it needed was furniture but it was too late in the day to shop for things. Besides I could truly careless about bedding and couches when tonight I would change again. I was more than excited I craved it, it was like having a five burning inside of me like I’d never known. Lysander told me changing is a necessary part of life yet it is not ones whole life. Despite his warring I was excited and ready.

September 30th 1931

I may be the luckiest Werewolf in the world. If Lysander weren’t there my life would have become… I don’t know. I almost killed a man and woman. I hate myself but I cannot talk to Lysander anymore about this because once again he blames himself for giving me far too much freedom in my run. I spotted a couple kissing in the moonlight. I saw them and I thought about their blood and how it could taste. I stopped thinking like a human completely and just wanted to bite them. I ran towards them faster and harder then I ran at the bear. Lysander tackled me and attacked me, his mouth on my neck ready to bite my head clean off. It was a lesson of my life, I will never forget it. When he let me up I looked and saw the people had run away maybe they heard us or saw us but they were gone and the temptation they brought with them they had taken away.

When I awoke the next morning I felt a panic. Panic that I could have killed another human. Panic of what that made me and panic of what Lysander thought. I sat outside of the house that we had built and thought deeply about what had happen. Here I sat now and I felt no desire for human blood or flesh. I didn’t want to kill. I was relieved when I came to that conclusion. Lysander woke up and without a word about the night before. He told me of the plans to pick our new clothes and furniture. He said that we would also need food and other things. Nothing of my mistake. When I asked he said "We all make those mistakes in the beginning. It is how you will act later that makes a difference. Some of our kind choose to become an wolf first and a human second those do fare well through the times because they detach themselves from their former selves. I am one of the more common. I stay a human more than wolf because I wish so desperately to be normal. My maker never gave me the choice. Now I would rather not have to talk about this again. Shall we?"

I went with Liam in his new car and looked around me. People all over the place, I understood why he took me away from the humans. It was his job as a maker not to protect me but to protect all of them. We found the tiny tailor and got our clothes. I even put on my favorite before we left; I looked like a proper gentleman. The suit made me feel like I was okay, like I was still human. I looked up at the sky and saw the warm sun being hidden by clouds. I thought about my mistake again. I was the sun; I was just being masked by clouds at the moment.

Lysander dragged me all over New York City trying to find everything he wanted. The only things he didn’t care about where the things that went into my room. He told me to pick whatever I wanted out and I would be taken care of. It was the first time in my life that I had had any say on my room. My mother had decorated my room for me, I was only to study. I was a smart student back home I read whatever the teachers put in front of me and whatever I could find on my own. Being sick made me bored and I could never handle that for very long. I even taught myself English when my sister married an American. Now I was no longer allowed to be in school I was thirsty for more books. After I picked my bed and bedside tables and painting and everything else Lysander requested I get I left to the library.

December 4th 2009

It was midnight before I looked off the pages of Liam’s journal and suddenly a quick slice of panic struck me. I jumped off my bed and ran outside. Lysander and Liam came after me they looked worried. I started to rip at my clothes.

"What are you doing?" Lysander asked me.

"I need to change don’t I?" I stopped ripping at my clothes for a moment.

"You didn’t tell her?" Lysander then slapped the back of Liam’s head then turned back to me with a smile. "You don’t need to change until the next full moon. You need to change every three nights one before during and after the full moon. You can’t change right now. Your young a pup you can’t change until next month, I promise. Unless you are under immediate danger or you feel extreme rage. Your safe and you aren’t really the type for extreme rage so relax."

"I should have told you. I’m sorry." Liam said.

"No, no, I should kept reading." I laughed slightly and started to calm down.

"Liam? What is she talking about?" Liam then explained the journal and how he gave it to me. "We you should have told her that she wasn’t needing to change to night. Ein Buch? Sie fangen besser an, wie ein Leiter und Halt zu handeln, verstecken die hinter Büchern und Rede verdoppelt. Ich habe nie dass zu Ihnen gemacht!"
"Your German is getting rusty Lysander." Lysander then smacked the back of his head again. "I understand."

"Eve come on inside." Lysander lead me back inside. A wave of calm went over me and I figured out that I passed like with Lysander. Just him touching me made me calm. I had never felt that with anyone. I shoved my feelings down and went back into my room alone. I wouldn’t forget that Lysander was asking like a jerk. I decide on telling them that I wanted to try and sleep. It was a lie, I hadn’t felt tired in the slightest. I laid on my bed thinking. Pausing my heart was racing. There was a knock on the door and the door opened.

"It Lysander."

"Yes I could smell you." I thought back to when I would say that after a guy in my school would spray Axe body spray and I would gag. Lysander’s smell would never make me gag even if he was acting like an a*s.

"Yes I wondered if that kicked in. What do I smell like?" I didn’t answer his question. I was still thinking about the night that I had had. He didn’t move from the door way and I sat up. "I’m sorry about tonight."

"It’s not like I haven’t ever been ignored by a guy I liked. I know you know no point in pretending. I know you enjoy that but I’m over it." I laid back down. Not looking at him made it easier for me to be mad at him.

"I don’t know how that is true. I certainly never would be able to ignore you. I couldn’t stop staring at you." I sat up again I was still skeptical but I wanted to hear him out. "I’m going to call upon the True Alpha. Do you know who that is?"

"No. I read something about him in Liam’s book. He does the bonding and judging of rouge weres."

"He is the oldest were alive. He is more powerful and more knowledge able than any other werewolf. He and only he alone holds the power to bond to weres together and he has the power to un-bond them."

"What do you mean?"

"I should have done this a thousand years ago. But now I have a reason to. You believe we are truly married? Then I will honor your belief and I will fix this." I kissed him, I was no longer over thinking but acting. Lysander kissed me back but didn’t stay very long.

"I’ll call upon him tonight. I don’t know when he’ll come. He could be in Russia or Cuba or in Africa. He’ll come if he’s called though." Lysander gave me a quick kiss then left. I suddenly was tired and changed in to pajamas then put the book on one of the shelves Liam built. I slipped into bed and slept. It was the first time since the change that I slept like a human. Like a normal person who had a very long day with people who were not normal.

I woke up at three thirty three in the morning from Liam swinging open my door. I sat straight up and looked at him confused and worried something was wrong, very wrong.

"Do you know where he went?" I shook my head at first then remembered. "What?"

"He went to call upon the True Alpha? He left after I went to sleep. What’s wrong?"

"He’s not back something’s wrong I can feel it. Can’t you?" I closed my eyes and I felt a cold shiver go down my spine I tensed up. "I don’t know what that means but it’s not good."

"Is he dead?" I jumped out of bed and started walking downstairs.

"No. I would know if that happened. Why was he calling the True Alpha?" Liam asked quickly. I explained to him that he said it was time to get un�"bonded to Sibel. Liam seemed shocked by this and ran up stairs to Lysander’s room. He looked around the room for something.

"We should go look for him. Right now!" Liam wasn’t listening to me and I knew that. I started to walk out of the room when Liam grabbed my wrist.
"Do you smell something in here that isn’t Lysander or one of us?" I took a deep breath. "Not like that. You’re a werewolf and one of your own is missing. Stop thinking like a little girl and think damn it!"

I was hurt by his words and smacked Liam across the face. I had never physically meant to hurt anyone my whole life and did I pick the wrong person to do it to. Liam instantly changed into the black wolf. I never saw them changed before, I had always been more focused on myself. Liam tore thru every piece of clothing and fur seemed to grow from his skin in a matter of seconds. His body seemed to shift into the wolf, bones contorted as if they where rubber. It was beautiful yet frightening at the same time. His teeth showed as Liam snarled at me. I felt to the floor not being sure on how to act in this moment. Lysander told me I wouldn’t change unless I was in a rage or in danger. I felt in danger at the moment but I didn’t feel the tingle or the relief of the change coming. Liam turned away from me and leapt out the window. I knew not to follow, if I were to follow Liam would do something and for a moment I feared him, the sweet gentle Liam who tried to make everything easy on me who never meant me harm suddenly changed into another person. I tear ran down my cheek as the gravity of the whole situation landed on me. Lysander was in trouble, Liam was in a rage and hopefully out looking for Lysander, and I could do nothing but wait.

I paced back and forth up and down the stairs, in all the rooms up and down stairs. At five I started spastically cleaning. It wasn’t hard to find things to clean but the challenge was to stay concentrated on any one task. It was like my whole world stopped and was a inch between disaster and ruin. I was thinking about what I was going to do without Lysander. I would be a widow before I turned twenty. At six I started to stare out the window hoping I would see Lysander or Liam. After an hour at the window I needed to do something else. I walked slowly upstairs and took Liam’s book. I thought about reading on the bed but I couldn’t, I needed to be downstairs. I needed to be closer to the door so when they came back I could be there. I sat on the couch and hunched over the book.

September 30th 1931

I entered the New York Library and sat down on at a table. I wanted to stop for a moment. Things seemed to be going by so fast I didn’t understand it. I sat for five minutes and watched people mosey around looking at the books every one of them was judging a book by its cover. It dawn on me that that was human nature. You judge what you see and you assume that what you see is what you get. That’s why my mask was such an impressive one; I even caught the looks of some girls. I smiled politely back at them but if they really knew that the cover of my book was such a lie they wouldn’t be so happy to see me. I got up and walked around the isles looking for something. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for.

I came across Clemence Houseman’s Were-Wolf and I grabbed it. I then looked for anything werewolf. Maybe in the pages of these books I could find similarities to myself. I found the rest of the books that where about werewolves. I checked out the most promising and walked outside the Library when Lysander walked up the steps with his casual walk up the steps practiced over the years to not attract attention. One of two things happened in that moment a thought of running away and never looking back crossed my mind. The second was Lysander putting his hands in his pockets and shrugging, he was giving me the choice. He would never make me stay with him; I would never be forced by him to stay. Or maybe he knew deep down I would never want to leave him, Lysander was like a walking talking history book. I walked down to his car. I must have had an odd look on my face because Lysander asked me what was wrong. I told him I wasn’t sure.

The drive back to the house was quiet except for the large delivery truck following us. I didn’t want to know how much money it took to get them to deliver in one day. I jumped out of the car and ran into the house with my things. I tossed my clothing on hangers in my small closet and laid on the wood floor. My whole room was made of pine. The one window I had was large enough for me and Lysander to jump out of. I wasn’t sure but I thought that was the point. I placed the books on the floor in the closet. I knew there would be no point to do anything with them until my room was put together. I walked back outside and the truck was already gone. Lysander was already lugging boxes into the house. I looked around for boxes that were mine, I couldn’t tell. When Lysander came back out he took his nail and dug an "X" on every box that was for my room. Then a "O" for the living room and an "K" for the kitchen. He told me to start lifting. I never found it difficult to lift the heavy boxes even though I knew some of them must have weighed a little less then Lysander’s fancy car.

I finished my room as the sun was setting I was outside and started to unbutton my shirt when Lysander appeared. "Nope you can’t change tonight." Lysander said this and walked back into the house. I asked why he said that "pups" are like babies you only grow so much at a time. "In a year you’ll be able to change whenever you want. In less than five years you’ll be able to stay a wolf for as long as you wish."

"How is it that you don’t age?" I asked him. It was a question that I wasn’t sure how to ask. I knew he was old and yet I had accepted that blindly. I wanted to know. He looked at me for a moment then walked into the kitchen and I followed. Lysander opened a box and pulled out a new sharp knife he lifted it up then stabbed his own forearm. He left it in while he spoke.

"I wondered that too. I guess it’s because I heal. Look" He pulled the knife out of his forearm and not a drop of blood spilt his skin seemed to just piece itself back together. "You won’t heal this quickly until you’re my age. You’ll heal quickly but no like that. You see the older I get the more my skin just heals. I am not sure if anyone will ever be able to explain what it does. For now you can call it magic or a miracle or a mystery but I don’t have an answer to why. It just is."

"Will I live forever or…" I didn’t know but I wanted to. I knew that men back home died around there late fifties.

"You want to know if you can die. Yes. Yes you can die. But I’ve never known of a werewolf to die of old age if that’s what you’re asking."

Lysander wiped the blood on the knife on his pocket hackney and placed the knife down on the countertop. He then walked out of the room as if we had just talked about the weather instead of death. I walked back into my room and laid on my newly made bed. I had questioned death a lot being sick all of my life yet I never remember fearing it. I remember thinking it would be painless and I would no longer be sick. It was an idea that tempted me at times. Death seemed easy, that’s how I saw it. Now that I saw a new layer to the world around me I questioned death again. It would take away all the things I could see. All I could know. Life was not easy in the typical since for me anymore but it was more appealing to me than any other offer I could find.

I tossed my new black leather shoes on the ground, followed shortly after by my jacket and I tucked myself into my bed. Under the thick green quilt and the soft goose feather stuffed pillows that my head sat on I found some sort of peace that allowed me a nights rest.

December 4th 2009

Liam kicked open the door and carried in Lysander. Lysander was covered in blood and was very pale. Liam placed him on the couch gently then ran to the bathroom. I dropped my book and knelled besides Lysander, I brushed Lysander’s hair back. He was covered in dirt I hurried into the kitchen and soaked a hand towel in warm water and came back to Lysander. I heard crashing noises coming from the bathroom but didn’t leave to go look at what Liam was doing. I cleaned off Lysander’s face and arms. He felt cold, I’d hadn’t been cold since I was bitten this seemed odd. I ran up to my bedroom and grabbed the blanket. I was heading back down when Liam bust out of the bathroom.

"Nothing! We have nothing. None of us gets sick or hurt. This isn’t right! Ugh I need to go get things." Liam left the cabin and slammed the door behind them. I thought about chasing after Liam there wasn’t a point to cause a scene. I could see Lysander’s injuries slowly close. The biggest wound that was on his throat was taking the longest to heal. There was still dirt clumps in Lysander’s hair, this was the first time I had seen him less than perfect and even in all the mud and blood he looked the Greek statue that he was. I tossed the bloody muddy hand towel on the table and sat by him. His breathing was shallow and his skin still felt cold.

"Can you speak? Can you hear me?" Lysander didn’t move, seeing him like this made me feel like killing the thing that did this. "Come on, please."

Lysander didn’t move. I put my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. I wasn’t sure what it was supposed to sound like. The living room was silent all I could hear was the slow rhythmic thumping of his heart. It scared me just to not listen now, as long as his heart was beating he was alive and if he was alive I would be okay. I couldn’t lose him and I’m pretty sure Liam couldn’t handle the loss either we would be orphaned in the strangest way. I forced myself to stop thinking about the "What if" over Lysander. I just listened and closed my eyes tight.

The door flew open and I heard the footsteps. I thought it was Liam when I opened my eyes, but then my noses told me otherwise. It wasn’t Liam, it was Sibel.

"Oh my husband in the arms of another woman." Sibel was more than confident and I knew why. With Lysander injured I was un able to pose any type of threat. "Nasty little injuries aren’t they?"

I stood up and blocked Lysander from her view. Sibel just laughed, she walked into the kitchen and looked in the fridge. It was amazing to me that she was so at ease. She closed the door and sighed.

"Not one stake? You guys own a home and you don’t have stake?" She sat on the counter top and stared at me. "You think I did that? I may dislike that man in there but sadly I did not lay my hands on him. That my little one is the handy work of something else."

"Like what? A vampire? Please tell me it was a vampire. I’ve been waiting for them to show up." Sibel started laughing and then turned serious.

"No. My guess is that Lysander ran into some other type of being while running around alone." She hopped off the countertop and cornered me. "Now why was he alone?"

"He was calling the…"

"So he finally was finally going to break up with me. Tragic that it lead to this so very close to freedom either way."

"How do you mean?"

"Well if let’s say he made it I would finally be free to do as I wish and he would be alive and whatever with you. Now if let’s say whatever it was that did this killed him off I would be free. But now Lysander is in a limbo and I’m still stuck to him. Unless…." She walked over to Lysander’s sleeping body. I watched as her hand raised up and a striking pose, it turned into something like a hair claw yet her fingers stayed more like a humans.

"What are you doing?" I felt my face go red.

"Little girl this is how it was always suppose to end between us. I’m going to kill him. If you stay there or run away you’ll be alive to see tomorrow unlike Lysander." Her hand started to come down. That’s when everything started to happen very quickly. I changed and I attacked Sibel without hesitation. Liam walked into the room and dropped all the things he had bought and Sibel smacked me with her claw before changing herself. Liam wasn’t far behind in changing but the black wolf and I were no match.

Sibel snarled but didn’t attack; Liam and I placed ourselves in front of Lysander. Sibel then left the cabin and soon after I changed back and hit the floor. I passed out from pain.　My sinuses burned and my the pain I felt in my gut made me clench up my whole body. Worse than that my eyes felt as if they had each been stabbed by a small red hot needle. I felt Liam pick me up and gently carry me into a bed. The lights being off helped me it made me able to think. Liam left me alone and brought up Lysander and put him next to me. He was cold and I clung on to him, my whole body was on fire. Liam kissed my cheek then left the room quietly. I fell asleep while holding on to Lysander and in the morning I woke up with him holding on to me. I smiled for two reasons one was that he moved on his own and two he held on to me. I slowly sat up not taking my eyes off of Lysander. I knew he was better because his skin was warm and the wounds that where all over his body where healed. The only reason I was sure that Lysander was injured last night was that his body was still covered in dried blood and mud. I tip toed out of the room, I was wearing another large plain t-shirt. I was fully covered and so I skipped going to my room to change and went to find Liam.　
　　　　　　　　　　　　"Liam?" I said loudly.
　　　　　　　　　　　　"I'm making food." A rubble in my stomach occur shortly after the word food was uttered. "How you feeling?"
　　　　　　　　　　　　"Better, why did I feel like crap after I changed? I felt worse than when I changed for the first time. More than the time you bit me."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"You body wasn't happy with you for changing again so soon. You're young its just like when you're a baby you can crawl and maybe babble incoherently but you can't talk or walk or run. Last night you tried to running, you crashed. Eggs and bacon good for you?" I nodded, I was happy to see Liam calmed down. "What was Sibel doing here last night?"
　　　　　　　　　　　　"You think I know? She showed up and started saying stuff about stakes. She told me that she didn't do it."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"I knew that. She would have finished him off if she was so inclined. If she killed Lysander then she would be hunted by some of the most powerful werewolves in all of the word. The True Alpha for example, they could never know for sure if she kill Lysander's maker but if they convicted her of killing a werewolf and they killed her and she was innocent. Then they were guilty of the same crime they killed for."　
　　　　　　　　　　　　"Do you know what did attack Lysander then?"
　　　　　　　　　　　　"I think I do but I don't know if they are real. Lysander always protected me from things. He would tell me the truth if I asked but I think he liked it better when I just pretended to be a normal kid. In a way I think I gave him his son back. Don't tell him I said that." He continued to cook everything he cooked always smelled amazing. "Then again if it's what I think it is will know by the company that will follow them. Some of our kind tends to go hunting for them."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"What?"
　　　　　　　　　　　　"Fay. Next time you read my journal you should skip to the date October 30th. That was the first time I met them." He smiled a smile to himself. "First time I met Ula. She was my first girlfriend."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"Ula?" I asked. "How long did you guys date for?"
　　　　　　　　　　　　"A week. It may have gone on for longer but her brother made her leave when they left."　 He seemed sad that memory flashed before him. He shoved two plates with food on it towards me. "Give one to Sander for me."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"Don't you want company?"
　　　　　　　　　　　　"No, I'm going to pick up Serena. We sort of have a date." He smiled again. "I don't know how long this one will last. When's you're graduation?"
　　　　　　　　　　　　"Early June."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"Then the middle of June at best, today at the worst." Lysander said with a sad smile.
　　　　　　　　　　　　"You’re condemning the relationship before..."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"Let me stop you there. Remember how I told you I fantasized our whole relationship before you even knew of my existence? It because it easier for me to pretend and not really get hurt. My future is being a wolf. I'm smart, I could have been anything but I'm this. Fact is she isn't and I don't think I could change another person with out telling them what they were in for. It wasn't fair what I did to you. Lysander told me, he told me because I was so sick it didn't matter because no one would have believed a dying kid's ramblings."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"I think we could tell her."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"No, it's been made a rule for a reason." He looked down at a watch and sighed. "I got to go. I'll explain why when I get back."
He kissed my cheek then grabbed his leather jacket and left. I took the two plates up the stairs and when I opened the door Lysander sat up with a weak smile. I gently handed him the plate and fork he started eating. I started to eat but watching him was more important to me, it was like he could just disappear in front of me.

　　　　　　　　　　　　"I'm okay. Stop staring at me." He said after he swallowed a bit of eggs.
　　　　　　　　　　　　"What happened?"　
　　　　　　　　　　　　"I was attacked after I made the call. I think that attacked them to me."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"Was it Fay?"
　　　　　　　　　　　　"You know what that means?" I shook my head. "Fairies. One of the few things that are known about for sure other then us. Some hunt them, but not all of them are evil. Misguided, confused, good, bad, they are a lot like us in that way. They were the angels trapped on earth, some of us like to call them demoted angels. This was during the time when the angels revolted. After God ordered the gates closed the angles where deviated into three groups. The ones who stayed in Heaven stayed angels, the ones in Hell became demons, and the ones who hesitated became Fay or faeries which ever you prefer. They were no longer good enough for Heaven but not evil enough for Hell."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"The ones who attacked you?"
　　　　　　　　　　　　"I'm not sure. I think they thought I was dead and left me as a tithe for the devil" I took a deep breath, this was too much. "They attack humans and werewolves to pay this tithe. I was lucky."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"You can't die. You know that right? I need you and so does Liam."
　　　　　　　　　　　　"I'm not planning on going anywhere." He hugged me tight and could hear his heart beat again. It was so much stronger and I instantly felt safe again. The hug lasted for the longest perfect moment in history. "I need to rest okay? I won't be able to with you here staring at me so go have fun it’s a Saturday."　　
I didn't argue with him even though I wanted to stay with him. I grabbed Liam's journal and walked outside by the front door. I sat leaning ageist the door and began to look for the page.

October 30th 1931

It was a normal day until the night came. I wasn't evening changing tonight. The day was me going to with Lysander to the newly required businesses and was taught how to spot trends in the market. It was possibly the most excruciating lesson he taught. It was boring and tame, predictable. In some ways I think he likes this part more then anything. Lysander found a strange comfort in his guilt and predicable schedule. That's why when they came I was flabbergasted and excited and Lysander was at best suspicious.　
Five wolves appeared at our door at the wee hours of four am. I could tell instantly what they were. I had never been more excited I felt the electricity in the air. Though I looked away when they changed in to human form and fetched robes and towels. When I came back there were two girls and three guys. I gave my robe to a girl named Ula. Smitten was an understatement for how I'd instantly felt for her. Her golden blond hair reminded me of pure gold and her green eyes like emeralds, standing near her made me feel unhinged in the greatest way. Every smile she made that night made my heart break a little.　
Her brother Ulric who was her twin the only differences between them was he was a handsome man and she was the world's most beautiful woman. Ulric would have had my head if he knew my thoughts about his sister he was not the leader of the group but next in line if anything would happen to Rafe. Rafe had dark hair and darker eyes, every inch of him shouted devotion and yet I'd felt a deep love for every member in his pack. He was the strongest and smartest of them though he was no match for Lysander. Everyone in the room knew this and respected it.　
The other's where the first werewolf couple I'd ever met. Rollo and Lupa, Lupa was beautiful in her own right but she didn't hold a torch to Ula. Though no one else was in the room except for Ula in Rollo's eyes. Lupa had shinny black hair and tan skin with the feistiest attitude of the group. Rollo was soft spoken and when he did speak he had a soft French accent.

　　　　　　　　　　　　"We tracked them to this place. All we ask is that you give us shelter while we find their nest. Once we find it, we’ll attack and kill them then we’ll leave." Rafe didn’t find use in not being direct with Lysander.　　"Will you allow us to stay?"

　　　　　　　　　　　　"Well if I let you in who’s to say you won’t leave. I’ve known your kind to be untruthful." He pointed to me. "It’s not me I’m worried about. He’s a pup."

　　　　　　　　　　　　I blushed and instantly felt embarrassed; Rollo looked at me and pointed to himself. I knew then I wasn’t the only one in the room who was new to this. It made me feel a little better but not by much. Rafe looked at me and judged me without a word to me.

　　　　　　　　　　　　"I have never broken my word to an elder. You are my superior. If you wish I will relinquish my Alpha spot to you so when it is time you can kick us out." Lysander sat down and became deep in thought. "I am second eldest once you kick them out I will claim them and you and your pup are back to normal."

　　　　　　　　　　　　"Liam you will sleep on the couch, Rafe will take your bed. Lupa and Rollo there is a extra room that will be yours. Ulric…" Lysander stopped when Ulric stood up.

　　　　　　　　　　　　"I prefer to sleep outside in wolf form" Ulric then left to be outside, Lysander nodded.

　　　　　　　　　　　　"Ula do you mind taking the extra couch in the living room then?"

　　　　　　　　　　　　"That one? Sure I’ve been sleeping on sticks and leafs for the past month."

　　　　　　　　　　　　"Alright. No more than a month. Rafe, Lupa, Rollo if you follow me I shall show you to your rooms." They all left after that. It left me alone in the room with Ula.

　　　　　　　　　　　　"Hello, we haven’t been properly introduced. I’m Ula." She then held out her hand, I took it in mine and I felt her baby soft skin.

　　　　　　　　　　　　"I’m Liam." She kissed me without another word. In a way it was my first kiss. I had had the curious kids kiss but this was deep and commanding. She broke off the kiss then went to the couch and fell asleep. I was still standing there in shock. When I finally managed to find the couch I laid down but all my mind did was race with thoughts. All of them where about her, my muse Ula. That is why I wrote all this down because even now in the still dark morning I’ve never felt more alive. If I had never another kiss that one would have been enough. The question blazed thru my mind though, why did she kiss me?

She was still there in the morning. I had maybe twenty minutes before I woke up to make sure the night before me was real. She was there It was the best news I'd ever gotten. Everyone else was still sleeping except for me and her. She woke up about ten minutes after I did, though while I was sure I had the worst bed hair known to man she'd woken up as if she were just getting out of a fancy hair place. She saw me watching her and smiled. I smiled back.

"It’s Halloween." I blurted out. She giggled at my random comment. She stood up and walked out the door I followed her. I hadn’t wanted to follow anyone so badly. I followed her outside past her sleeping brother and into the woods. She took me to a waterfall that I’d never seen before. Then she started to strip down, I quickly turned away so I wouldn’t watch. I heard a splash and turned around. I was standing there not sure of what to do when she waved me into to the water. I tore off my clothes and jumped in, I prayed that she didn’t stare at me while I undressed but I couldn’t look at her until I had jumped in. We talked and swam for hours. I hadn’t felt this close to someone since Lysander, but it was better and so different from Lysander. I wondered if she felt the same, so I swam closer to her and asked about the kiss?

"What, you didn’t like it?" She smiled devilishly and my heart melted yet again. "I hadn’t seen another guy since 1923 but and you seemed sweet enough. So I kissed you. If you want I could kiss you again."

I kissed her and she dunked me in the water. I came back up and we went on dunking each other and kissing. It was the greatest day I’d ever had. The sun started to go down and she told me we had to leave. I never wanted to leave this place, this place was an escape from being not normal. I obeyed her orders and followed her back to the house where Rafe had already rallied the others.

"You’re almost late, Ula. Okay wolves fall out." Rafe turned into a wolf and ran away with all of them following except for Ula and Rollo.
"I’ll see you in the morning." Then in a flash she was a wolf. Rollo was still standing there.

"I’ve changed to much this month, I am only two years old. You?" Rollo’s English wasn’t perfect but I doubted his ability to speak German as I could not speak French. We walked back into the house. Lysander had me sit across from him to have a talk. Rollo excused himself to his room when he felt the odd emotion radiating off of Lysander.

"Well where were you?"

I told him about my day. I told him everything, he was my maker and I felt the need to be honest with him. He was not happy when I told him about my feelings towards Ula. I was confused to why it mattered if I’d liked her or not but I knew he was going to tell me and I knew this would be the first time I would disobey him.

"Ula is a hunter wolf, with a pack that is not stationary like us. She is her for now but now is only for a month. They hunt once they find what they are looking for they leave. She is a ship in the night. Don’t give your heart to this girl unless you want it handed back to you broken. Mark my words. Ula may seem perfect but this will not last because she won’t want to stay. Her blood tells her to run as does her brother and Rafe."

Rafe had nothing to do with this and I walked away without a word. I walked outside and closed my eyes. I concentrated on trying to hear them, I was able to hear their footsteps and their emotion they weren’t finding what they were looking for yet. I smiled because that meant more time with Ula. I listened until I knew they were coming back to the house. Lysander had gone up to his room and so I went to my couch and relaxed. I closed my eyes and pretended to be sleeping when they came in. Ula let herself fall on to the other couch and I smirked to myself. I could sleep now knowing she was going to be there when I woke up.

November 1st 1931

I woke up and Ula wasn’t there, I was in a panic for five minutes until I realized where she was. I went into a run as soon as I was out the house. I ran to the waterfall and there she was swimming.

"Hey there. Did you want to swim?" She smiled at me again and fell into the water fully clothed. We laughed at my foolishness and we kissed again. We kissed and talked the whole day until the sun started to go down and she left again. I got out and ran after her but she asked me to stay behind for a few moments. I did as she asked without question and when I got home only Rollo and Lyander where home, they were playing checkers in the living room. I went into the kitchen and started eating the first few things I saw. When I was with Ula nothing else mattered including my hunger now that she wasn’t in front of me I was hungry.

"He looks like he is falling for our Ula. It is not good." Rollo said as he jumped one of Lysander’s red pieces. "Rafe is how do you say? Aggressively pursuing her hand for marriage."

"I knew that the moment we agreed to me becoming Alpha. I told Liam to leave it be I doubt he’s going to take to heart what I told him. He has to learn this one on his own."

"She does this every stop. She clings to some poor boy and destroys his spirit. She doesn’t mean to do it. Lupa told me she was changed after a horrible engagement and has never gotten over it."

I walk into the room and looked at them, I was the youngest weakest of them and I wished for one minute I could be half as intimidating as they did to me. I wanted to defend my new relationship with Ula, I stood there and they said nothing else and yet the silence screamed more than if they had continued talking about her and I. I wished for my room to be mine again so I could leave, outside was now Ula and my enemy Rafe. If his intentions where to steal Ula away from me then he would be my hated rival. I was tempted to run out there but knew I could not change into my wolf form. I went into my room and looked around, Rafe stole my room and he is after Ula.

I started to see red, I was angry and upset. I had never felt so out of control over my own emotions. I had only known her for two days and I loved her. I started clenching my fists and shaking without wanting to the room was spinning. Suddenly Lysander’s arms were around me holding me down. I was still shaking but Lysander started talking to me calmly.

"Breathe, you’re fine. Breathe. You don’t want to change. Just breathe. There is no need to change. Breathe." I did listen to his words and slowly I came out of my rage. I still couldn’t move and Lysander picked me up and placed me on my couch. Rollo was still sitting in the living room.

"Lysander? I think it would be better if Ula slept in my room with Lupa. She will be fine with it." Lysander nodded in agreement. I hated them for taking away time with Ula away from me but I no longer could feel anything. My body went into a stiff numbness that I couldn’t get out of. "Puppy love is a tough thing to get over."

"Tell me about it." Lysander said as he left to his room. Sibel was his "puppy love" he’d loved her even after she stabbed him. I laid there on the couch not moving when they came back. Ula was the last one in, I could smell her. She smelled of red roses, chocolate, and vanilla it was the best smell in the world and it made me mad that I couldn’t move now, that I couldn’t look at her.

"Rollo why are you on my bed?" Ula’s voice was like cool breeze it relaxed me to hear her voice.

"Lupa and you shall be sharing our room. I’ll take the couch. Pups on the couch." Rollo wasn’t trying to start a fight by telling her the real reason yet Ula knew instantly why she was upgraded to a bed. She left the room and I knew by the way her footsteps dragged slowly away she felt the same about this new sleeping arrangement. I weakly smiled and gradually fell asleep.

November 2nd 1931

Ula woke me before anyone else was awake. She smiled the devilish smile and I was wide awake she grabbed my hand and lead me outside by pulling on my hand. She ran into the woods again with me following her closely…

December 4th 2009

I looked up as I heard tires rolling up the drive way. Liam was driving Serena’s car, I watched as he turned the car off then ran around to open the door for her. He was a gentleman and Serena ate it up, I’d never seen her this happy with a guy before. She spotted me and waved.

"What are you doing?"

"Lysander isn’t feeling well and I wanted to catch up on my reading." I tried to smile casually but I wanted to check on Lysander now. She saw the worried look on my face and turned to Lysander.

"You didn’t tell me that your brother wasn’t well."

"Yes well…" He stopped and he smelled the air. Liam looked concerned but walked Serena into the cabin. I followed suit, he stayed downstairs and I walked up the stairs and into Lysander’s bedroom. He was sound asleep it was calming to see him be at peace. Serena had followed me up the stairs and looked over my shoulder at Lysander. She had invaded my fantasy of Lysander and I having a normal relationship.

"I would have never seen it between you two. I mean I never even knew you even where dating. How did you keep that from me?" She smiled at me, then remembered something. "Did I tell you about what happened on Friday when you played hooky?"

"No."

"Bramm got really pissed off when you two had that mini make out thing on the school steps. He started flirting with me after that. I of course I told him Liam and I had a date on Friday and he got even more freaked out. He’s even slumming it with the s****y freshmen. He’s dating the red headed emo one."

"Which one are you talking about? There are a lot of them."

"Eh the one with naturally red hair, oh and she doesn’t have any piercings."

"Oh okay, yeah I know which on now. Wasn’t she the one who was rumored to be pregers?" We walked down stairs and Liam picked up Serena and kissed her. He was so happy when she was around. I relieved then that I loved Liam, he was my maker and I knew that bound would last me till I died. Liam put her down and they walked to the Xbox and Liam set up Halo.

"So why weren’t you at school on Friday?" Serena asked.

"Oh I wasn’t feeling while, I think I gave what I had to Sander. Plus I’d met his ex and I really need a break from other people." Liam gave me a look that lasted only a moment and only I saw it but I knew I shouldn’t have brought her up.

"Oh the ex what was she like?"

"I don’t want to talk about it." Thankfully the game started and they ignored me and fought and killed each other like fairly normal for a couple. Lysander came downstairs in a large maroon robe on and sat on the couch next to me. He even put his arm around me I let my head lean on his shoulder. Everything was perfect again it was things should be like. My friends happily dating and Lysander letting me rest my head on him. Everything was good until the tree of us heard the noise. By three I mean Lysander, Liam and I because it was the footsteps of our own kind. Suddenly I felt excited yet worried. My perfect moment was ruined by them.

Liam suddenly froze and looked like he was going to panic and Lysander stood up and walked towards the door. I followed Lysander but I looked back and saw Liam shove his emotions deep down. I also knew that Serena had been completely captivated by the game and therefore noticed nothing.

Lysander started walking towards the sound and I stayed by his side until we spotted them and they spotted us. I knew it was them the second I saw them. Rafe was everything Liam had written and so much more. The term tall dark and handsome must have been created for him, he stood with authority and motioned for the others to stay behind.

"Lysander, you look well." He said when he was a foot in front of us.

"Don’t lie, I know you are here because of the Fay. I also know you can still smell them on me." Lysander was so much stronger in his authority over Rafe it amazed me.

"Yes and I will ask you what I have before."

"And I will allow you because it is now personal. Same rules apply though." Lysander then held out his hand and Rafe knelled while grabbing Lysander’s hand.

"I hereby relinquish all responsibilities and duties of Alpha to you and will not contest your authority over myself or anyone else." Rafe then stood up and took a step back. I looked around and saw Rollo holding hands with Lupa he did still love her after all these years. Then I looked to Ulric who looked strong and even gallant in his pose in front of Ula. Ula looked like a girl who knew how to brake hearts and I hated her for hurting Liam.

"We have a human guest and would like it if for now you down played our other side. She doesn’t need to know and we do not have plans to change her, understood?" Everyone nodded. "Now this is Eve, she is wife as far as you are concerned for now and you are all family. Rollo you’re my uncle and Lupa is your wife and my aunt. Ula and Ulric you are my cousins. Rafe are you dating Ula?"

"Ula refuses my request to date." Rafe held back a lot of anger in that moment.

"Fine your Ulric’s friend. Come on." We all followed Lysander back to the house but when we got to the door Ula ran in front of us into the cabin. She stood there in silence as we all came in. Liam was making out with Serena until Liam spotted us. Serena seemed embarrassed but not worried at the same time when she saw the others. I saw the secret moment that was shared between Ula and Liam. Serena stood up and introduced herself to Liam’s ex and didn’t even know it.

"Hello I’m Serena."

"Ula I’m Liam’s cousin…" Ula ran upstairs after that. Serena was the only one, who looked confused; the others knew what real just happened.

"Should I go?" I nodded to her. Serena picked up her things then left. I looked around at people standing around me and though how normal we all looked. If I wasn’t part of it myself I would have never guessed that we where what we were. Liam walked up stairs and I followed him, I wanted to know what was happening for multiple reasons. One, I’ll admit I wanted to know for me and I wanted to know for Serena. Plus I didn’t want Liam to be hurt again. Liam when into his room and closed the door behind him, I slipped next to the door and listen.

"What are you doing in here?" Liam seemed unkind when he spoke.

"I thought… I don’t know…" She sounded near tears.

"You thought what? After what you did I would wait? You and I don’t work. I’m with another person and happy." Liam sounded mad and I suddenly became worried. "You being here will not interfere with my relationship."

"I freaked out seventy years ago." Ula was crying now. "She’s a human! What future do you have with her?! You’re not honest with her, not really. You won’t age and she is going to see that. You’ll leave her heartbroken."

"At least I’ll be kind. Get out of my room. I’m no longer a pup; I have one of my own. This is my room and you can get the Hell out of it." Liam opened the door.

"That girl is a pointless obsession of yours and you’ll see that. Sooner or later you will see that." I heard Liam walk and then everything in the room became silent. "You know I’m right."

"You are pure wrong, you are my greatest regret. You leave now."

"I’m your elder. You can’t tell me to do anything."

I was touched on the shoulder by Rafe and I nearly jumped out of my own skin. He put his finger up to his lips and motioned for me to be quiet. Rafe then walked into the room without knocking.

"Lysander has graciously given me Eve’s room. I have come to ask if you would be bunking with me." I held my breath when he asked that question.

"Liam I haven’t…"

"I wish the best for both of you and I respectfully request you leave my room."

"Yes, I do believe Lysander was adamant about letting you keep your room. Lucky puppy. Ula please go downstairs with Eve and help Lupa in the kitchen."

I ran downstairs and looked for Lysander. Rollo saw me and pointed outside, I didn’t know how but he knew who I was looking for. I ran outside and he was sitting on top of his Hummer. I looked up at him and he looked down at me and smiled.
"I’m guessing you have a lot of questions. I told them you and I are married if you want I can take the floor. It was easier to not explain the things going on right now. I’m sorry I know I should have asked. Rafe is will find them though and that will make everyone safer."

"What if I said I wanted to go with them? I mean I’m kind of curious about it." Lysander looked very serious when he thought about what I had said. "I said something wrong."

"No, you didn’t. I can’t let you go alone not with them. Liam won’t want to go. So that leaves me." He held out his hand and pulled me up on top of the Hummer and looked at the sunset. "I sent out the message the Alpha will come."

"Did you do that for you or for me?"

"I did it for me. I’m surprised Sibel never did it herself. I think I thought she didn’t because Sibel the human was still in there."

"Now what do you think?"

"I think she didn’t do it because she didn’t want to bring the Alpha anywhere near her or her plans. She always had this dream of keeping our condition to the light again." I looked at him slightly confused. "People knew about us at one time or another. How do you think we became legends? Sometimes we scared people and other times they worshiped us. Sibel wants to be worshiped. I just want to live its sort of a dividing mark of our kind."

"So you wouldn’t like being able to live and just be what you are and in front of regular people?"

"You don’t understand yet, but we can never truly be safely among them. When you change into werewolf you mind also gets taken over, your still in there but everything is different. You know that. Our kind has a safety in being unknown, think about it. Every human death that looks a horrific murder will be our fault. I’ve seen every possibility that happens when we are known by humans. None of them turn out well for us. Besides in this day and age if we open that door, it will not be closed. Sibel is planning on that."

I put my hands around Lysander and hugged him. He was worried about more then what he just told me. He put one arm around me and we continued to watch the sunset. Ula walked outside and looked at Lysander and me. At first I thought she was going to storm off either back inside or run into the woods. Instead she walked up to the Hummer.

"I blame you."

"What do you think I did?"

"It’s your fault he hates me. Your fault he’s dating a human. Your fault that we broke up in the first place." Ula was taking deep breaths to stay calm.

"It was my fault that Serena is dating Liam."

"Shut up. Lysander you need to fix this. Damn it. He’s dating a full blooded human? How stupid are you?"

Lysander jumped of the Hummer and landed an inch in front of Ula who fell to the ground. Lysander leaned down and was showing his teeth to her I even heard a low menacing growl, Ula closed her eyes tight.

"Would you like to re phrase that last question?" Ula shook her head yes. "You need to realize I am your Alpha while you’re here and you need to step down. I will have words with your brother and Rafe about this and you will be punished accordingly. Do you understand?"

Ula nodded yes and then Lysander stood up even holding his hand out to help her up. I felt odd seeing this; I had never seen Lysander so animalistic as a man. As a wolf he hunted but even then he was noble and polite. Lysander and Ula then stood there looking at each other for a moment.

"It is against the rules for Liam to be dating a human. He could kill her or expose us. Why are you letting him risk this much?"

"Because he is happy and I haven’t seen him be happy since he was a child."

Ula was going to say something until Lysander held up his hand. "A human child."

Ula seemed crushed by these words and walked away with her head held down. Lysander didn’t look to happy with himself when he turned towards me.

"I don’t like that sort of thing. She questioned my authority and mocked my intelligence. To top that off she also insulted you. I’m sorry you had to see that but she had it coming."

I didn’t say anything back. We both knew the moment between us and the sunset had been tainted so I left to inside the house. I was stared at by all of them, being judged. Rollo, Rafe, and Ulric where sitting in the living while Ula and Lupa where in the kitchen. I ran up stairs and grabbed my things I would need. I placed them in Lysander’s room and went downstairs with Liam’s Journal and decided to read to find out what had happened between them. They continued to stare at me and I even thought about leaving but I choice not to. It is my home not there’s. I stuck my face in the book and forced myself to read.

November 2nd 1931

Ula woke me before anyone else was awake. She smiled the devilish smile and I was wide awake she grabbed my hand and lead me outside by pulling on my hand. She ran into the woods again with me following her closely and we stopped at our waterfall. It was our waterfall because it was the one place we could speak freely and I loved that. We didn’t jump in the waterfall instead we sat down near the waterfall.

"We need to talk." Ula said when I tried to kiss her. That wasn’t what I wanted to hear. "It’s just your still young, I’m not a pup and I move around a lot."

"I know. It doesn’t matter to me. I mean it matters but you and I will make it work. Maybe you can stay?"

"I can’t leave my brother. Maybe you can come." I knew that we both knew I wouldn’t leave Lysander. He was my family like Ulric was hers. We understood each other but hated the facts. I didn’t want us to end and I told her that. She smiled sadly and we both knew it was going to end. "We have less than two weeks Liam. That means that you and I end then."

"Then let’s make the best of it. Ula I really like you."

"I like you too." Her head leaned on my shoulder and I found a sad peace. I knew it would end and I knew I would always love her. I never thought I would feel this way about anyone so to know I would have to give her up killed me inside. It was stupid and pathetic of me to fall so hard for a girl I barely knew. Though then again it just seemed right to love her.

"Should we tell the others? I mean they already know but if we told them together they may take us more seriously."

"Liam, Rafe wants to marry me. The less he knows the better, according to him I am engaged to him. He and I do on occasion…" She wouldn’t finish her sentence I was horrified and enraged. "I didn’t want to tell you but you should know. It’s not like we love each other or anything it complicated."

I stood up I was angry I felt the shakes coming, I would change soon I felt it deep down. I walked towards a tree and punched it. I almost broke the tree in half with one hit. I fell to my knees and my eyes started to well up. Ula walked up behind me and placed her hand on my shoulder and I suddenly felt dirty.

"It hasn’t happened since I’ve met you. I can’t feel bad about it. You can’t hate me for having other relationships. I’m sure you have had some."

"No, you’re my first relationship. I was sick a lot as a human. I told you that." I was starting to shake again, I was hurt. I didn’t know why but I was jealous. "Rafe? Why?"

"Because I’ve have few options. Rollo is in the deepest love I’ve ever seen with Lupa and Ulric is my brother and that’s gross. Rafe is sweet and sometimes I find myself asking the question, why not? And then you happen and..." She dropped to her knees and held on to me from behind. "And I can think of anyone else."

"He’s already won. He’ll take you away and get to keep you from me. And you’ll let him." I broke away from her hold and started pacing. "I’ll never be able to beat him. He’s better looking and he’s your Alpha. I’m just a pup. You’ll be over me in seconds."

"You’re acting like a child."

"Well I am one aren’t I? Get out here. Go run back to Rafe." I heard he leave and I didn’t look back I needed to think. She clouded my judgment and I need to think clearly. I sat there in the dark early morning thinking and writing. If I ran after her it was only putting off at the inevitable break up. If I stayed it would be awkward seeing her around the house for the next few weeks. Who was I kidding?

November 5th 1931

I have taken the outdoors as my new room. I have refused to be inside the house after what happened. I ran after her about a half an hour after she left. I ran into the house I had helped build and followed her smell into my room. I didn’t even think it was odd that her smell was in there so I opened the door. She was on top of him. Rafe and her, Ula and him. I will forever have that moment branded into my mind. I was filled with rage and instantly changed. I remember two things; one I attacked Rafe’s face and two running away from the house. I remember biting his face and tasting his blood and seeing him with his face torn up filled me with pleasure and joy like I can’t explain in words. I left the house after and ran. I ran far away. I wasn’t sure where I was but I passed out after I tore apart a cougar. I laid under large fur trees on thick grass when I woke up. Lysander was sitting on a large boulder looking down on me. He didn’t look mad or upset he looked worried about me.

"Welcome back." He hoped down from the boulder and tossed me a pair of pants. I put them on and wiped my face, my mouth was covered in dried blood. I wasn’t sure if they where Rafe’s or the Cougar’s blood but I didn’t care. My brain felt as if it was split in two. "You alright?"

"My head." He understood and he sat back down and waited for me. I looked over and saw Lysander’s car. I stumbled over to it and got in Lysander entered the driver’s side and waited, he didn’t turn on the car. "What."
"Rafe isn’t every happy. Ula was crying when I left and you changed which means your rage got the better of you. Now I already have Rafe’s story, which I couldn’t care less about and now I want yours." He placed his hand on my shoulder and I felt the father figure in him come out. "I care about us, our family."

"We fought. Then I told her to leave and I chased after her. In my room, my bed, they. I. I hate them. I can’t sleep in that house. Or that room again. You can’t make me. I’d rather sleep in the dirt. Like this. I don’t want to go back there. Please don’t make me." He didn’t. Instead he drove us in to the city. He also gave me a shirt, tie and shoes. He took me to eat at a café near the large building that my brother in law works at.

"Order whatever you want." He saw me staring at the building. "She visits him every day at eleven fifteen. I could set my watch by her. It’s only eleven."

This was my treat seeing my sister. I told Lysander to order whatever he wanted to and let me stare. He understood and eventually I started eating something that was placed in front of me. I spotted her, it wasn’t that she stood out from everyone else. She looked perfectly ordinary. Her dark brown pushed up in a messy bun and her purple coat that my mother made for her made her stand out to me. I missed her, even when we fought it was the best relationship with a sister I could have dreamed of having.

"She’s pregnant again." I smiled I was an uncle all over again I was happy and sad again as well. I would never get to know them because Lysander would never let me. Lysander wouldn’t let himself either, he learned from his own mistakes. I didn’t hold it against him yet I wasn’t going to pat him on the back for it either. "You mother is babysitting the little one at home."

I watched her enter the building and when the door closed I looked back at Lysander who was focusing on his food. He was trying to give me space to stock my own family. It was a kind jester but I would always want more and that would always be the most painful thing. But I choose this. Lysander told me I could have a few years maybe even a decade but I choose to let it just be. They could move on now and I wouldn’t have to lie to them. They could remember me and move on. This way my mother had my sister to lean on.

"I want to move. I won’t live in that house. I refuse." I looked at him and waited for him to be angry but that anger never came he took a deep breath and thought.

"Well okay. I can’t leave yet I am there Alpha too. So I’ll set you up in a hotel room and I’ll kick them out in a week. You and I will tear down the house and we’ll move on. Where do you want to live?"

"Here, just not in that house." I might have sounded crazy but everything about that house now made me sick. Perhaps I am over reacting but I can’t see how if I am. I walked in on my first love on top of another man in my bed. Just thinking of it now made me throw up a little in my mouth…

December 4th 2009

I looked up at Rafe and felt rage towards him and then even more and Ula. In my mind I would slap her but I knew I wouldn’t in real life. Sadly I wasn’t that brave yet. Liam walked down the stairs and grabbed something out of the fridge then walked back up. He didn’t give Ula the satisfaction of even a slight glance. I got up and walked up the stairs and knocked on his door.
"Come on in." I walked in he was laying on his bed with a plate of food on his stomach eating. "What’s on your mind?"

"She a horrible person."

"There are worse people. I pushed her away. She looked for comfort in Rafe. I regret the relationship because I wasn’t mature enough to have it. It was the longest four day long relationship in all of the world. I’m going to be honest when I tell you that I still love her and every time I think of her and Rafe, I want to kill. But I’ve thought a lot about it and I know I could never trust or be with her." He seemed calm but I could feel he was on edge and that made me on edge.

"Do you want your Journal back?"

"I’ve let go of it." That was a lie and I couldn’t bring myself to say anything about it. "I want you to keep it because I told you that I wanted to be honest with you. Nothing would make me change my mind about that."

"I don’t want to go down there. There all staring at me and I don’t like them."

"But you want to go hunting with them? I know because I wanted to do it too." We smiled at each other. "You’re going to not feel well in the morning though. Then again that won’t stop you."

We both laughed and when the laughing stopped so did the talk we had had. It was suddenly awkward in the room as if a large grey elephant had entered the room and infected it with a poison that left both of us silent. I wasn’t ready to leave and he didn’t want to be alone but he didn’t want to have company. I left his room and bumped into Ulric he smiled.

"Hi, Ulric." He took my hand and kissed it. I hadn’t ever been that caught off guard in my whole life. It was too odd. "You don’t seem too pleased with our being here."

"You’ll get the Fay, I’m glad about that." I wasn’t going to tell him I hated Ula. He was her brother after all and I didn’t need more uncomfortable stares. "I’m going to come with you guys."

"Oh wow, aren’t you hostel. I’m guessing Liam or Lysander will accompany you. Liam will have to jumpstart you but eh why not." He was checking me out, it was insulting and I felt like smacking him. I knew if I did something much worse would happen so I held in my rage. "Lysander always did have good taste with women. I met Sibel. So I asked myself how can you two be married? You aren’t. It’s cute that you believe it though."

"So does he."

"Cute, just like a puppy. If you want honesty, talk to me some more." He then sniffed my hair and calmly walked down the hall into the spare bedroom. I nearly ran to Lysander’s room and clutched on to a pillow on his bed. I felt like a child holding on to a stuffed animal. Lysander came into the room gently after ten minutes.

"They made dinner but if you want to change I wouldn’t eat. The change will be easier then." That news made me happier because that meant less time with them. "They time to get used to. Rafe, Ulric, Ula, Lupa, and Rollo are very different from us. They are more wild wolves we’re like domesticated dog we could bite you but we don’t." He sat down on the bed next to me.

I pulled him closer to me and kissed him, he let me do that. When I kissed him the rest of the world melted and went away. I let myself get lost in that kiss. It wasn’t until the door swung open that I pulled away from Lysander. Sibel was standing at the door looking at us, Lysander nearly jumped off of being on top of me.

"Why are you here?" I yelled at her.

"Oh look he’s still bounded to me, I can see what you two are doing and I’m not really into that. Tried it once but it was a little to kinky for me to handle." Lysander started to walk towards her when she held up her hand. "Now listen to me, if I wanted to kill you so you think I would do it while Rafe and his merry little group of killers where attached to you? Please, I’m not suicidal despite being married to you for over a thousand year and if that didn’t make me want to kill myself nothing would."

"You didn’t give me an answer." I was now standing up.

"Well I would have told you last night but you and little Liam chased me out of the cabin. I was going to kill him until I smelled what was on him. Fay. Yes I am not a fan and I want in on killing them."

"I don’t trust you." I spoke up, I wasn’t sure why but I felt like we were fighting over Lysander.

"Well you don’t have to, not even Lysander here has to. I just need him to approve me hunting with the pack. He’s technically my elder so I need his approval. A few months difference likes it’s really that big of a deal." Lysander opened his mouth. "I know ancient almost holier than thou laws state you’re the boss. Blah. Blah. Blah."

"Too many live here and you won’t bow to my commands and make me your Alpha. I don’t think you being anywhere near me is a good idea."

"That wasn’t a "no" was it?" Sibel like always was calm and calculated. I looked at Lysander waiting for him to say "get out" or "leave".

"Sibel why? I called the True Alpha and you won’t want to be near him when he arrives."

Lysander smiled when Sibel cringed. "So she does have fears."

"I’ll take your lack of denying me as a sign of welcome. We’ll figure out sleeping arrangements after dinner. They sent me up here to get you two." She paused and waited at the door. "Lysander they made some type of meat products. Wasn’t that your favorite type?"

She left the doorway and the room was so silent that we listened to her walk down the steps, each step created and empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Why didn’t you say no?" I felt very emotional and a little to venerable. "Sander what the Hell?"

"She’s an extra hand in getting the Fay. They aren’t what you think they are. They are beautifully frightening. Sibel is good at killing and we have enough wolves here she won’t start anything." Lysander looked panicky and not his usual calm self. He wasn’t explaining himself to me; he was explaining himself to himself. "It’s going to be fine."

"Yeah except for her being here and screwing with us. Other than that perfect! Why don’t we ask her to move in, she could do this for the next hundred year’s right?" Lysander looked at me sadly. "Should I go tell her to leave?"

"Yes."

"Well I can’t do that." He turned towards the door and stopped. "I don’t love her anymore but she is still the reason Liam is here, why I’m here now."

"What do you mean?"

"You have family here. Who?"

"The only male in my bloodline who isn’t a werewolf." Lysander held back on giving me a name. That left me half the population of Central Point to shift through then again maybe only had to look to my high school to give me answers. I sat down on the bed and Lysander left. I didn’t want to go back down there. I didn’t want to stay here but I didn’t want to be with them. I looked out the window and decided to leave.