November 30th- December 1st: The First Full Moon and First Meeting

“Crater lake is second deepest lake in US and the water twenty times purer then bottled drinking water. No other place on this Earth has what this place has. A pure sapphire blue lake, surrounding cliffs almost two thousand feet high. The depths of this lake are said to belong to a wrathful spiritual deity. A deity so powerful that no person except the experienced Klamath shaman would dare to venture to its shores. Even today it’s considered to be one of the holiest places in North America. We stand on Wizard Island, Klamath Shaman would pay tribute for they believed this was sacred gateway, a spiritual passageway between the above and below worlds. It would only be successful if the ones who came to the island were pure of heart.” Lysander said as the sun sat behind him. He was still very naked as was Liam. I was still in my black shirt that was now dripping wet. “Here is where you will join our family. On this island you will go through the gateway between what you where and what you are.”

This moment felt monumental. Everything Liam had said about you can feel the difference in the air. I felt it. Everything felt new. Every step I took felt like I was stepping on fire, every breath felt like cool water gently flowing threw me. My skin felt the electricity in the air. My eyes felt different, like everything I ever saw was out of focus and now it was like I could actually see for the first time, the tiniest of details from a mile away where crystal clear. Even my smell had changed completely. Before I thought I smelled Lysander but I missed things. 

Lysander smelled like ocean water and pine trees, but he also smelled like Honeysuckles. Liam who I never really smelled before popped out. He smelled like mint, rain water, and fresh baked cookies. The sun was setting and Lysander crotched as he stared at me. Liam walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder, my scar felt as if acid had been put on it.

“Don’t fight it.” Liam said before backing away from me. These where the last words I would ever hear as a human. Not real comforting if you think about it. He then joined Lysander and crotched down to stare at me.

Suddenly it was as if every one of my bones clicked and crunched out of place. My skin felt like it was on fire. The pain drove thru every vain, organ, fiber of my being. It felt as if boiling water had been poured into my skull. I fell to the ground in pain, I was screaming and yelling. They didn’t move or flinch. I was rolling in the dirt, I felt as if my body was a battlefield and I was losing. I clutched onto my face, it was growing. I felt a snout forming, my teeth sharpening. Next came my hands, it felt like my fingers where being chewed off slowly by insects. Everything started to go blurry because of all the light. A light that felt like it came from inside of me.

My bones snapped back into place and my skin felt better than ever. Every inch of my body was covered in fur. Everything was different. I never truly comprehended what happened to me until this moment. I was as if a trance had been put on me to not deal with the gravity of the situation. At this point I was ninety nine percent wolf with one percent was a part of my mind. It was like riding in a roller coaster, you choose to get on but you can control or get off until the end of the ride. I feared that I got on the big Goliath from Six flags and meant to get on the Tea Cup ride at Disneyland. 

I looked over at the boys. Liam was a black wolf, his fur tufted up around his ears and his green eyes popped out because of the fur. I saw him threw his eyes. Liam was smaller the Lysander but bigger than me. I would have been jealous of Liam if Lysander weren’t sitting next to him. Lysander was a pure white wolf. Just the way he sat gave him authority and his blue eyes felt like they could pierce my soul. I couldn’t get a good look at myself, I looked down and saw the shirt had been torn up in shreds and laid on the ground. 

The white wolf started to run away. The black wolf and I followed without hesitation. He ran around the island then jumped into the water. We made it to the cliffs and ran up them so fast it couldn’t be described as climbing. Running down the other side for moment it felt as if I were flying again. Running so fast it was if I could out run a speeding bullet. Everything in the world felt like it lead to this night. Nothing was wrong everything was right. I spotted movement in a field under a mile away. I changed direction without thinking. I couldn’t see if the others where following me, but I could hear them. I couldn’t hear their thoughts but their emotions. I smelling something new. 

My mouth watered and my eyes locked on. I ran towards, I jumped into the air and pounced on top of it taking it down. The rest of the herd started to run off. I already bit down on the jugular and its pain was over in seconds. I didn’t know how I  knew what to do but I did. I was no longer thinking like a human. I ate, my mouth now covered in blood. 

I could feel two pairs of eyes starring at me. Both where protective, but the white wolf and black wolf were different. Black wolf was excited and was ready to watch me attack again or do whatever. The white wolf wanted only wanted to protected me from me and everything else. I felt that they both cared for me, they where my family, my pack.

After I ate I ran again. Smells and sounds consumed my mind in ways I never thought it could. I was never far away from my them, they wouldn’t leave me. I could tell they were afraid to leave me alone. I didn’t care though it was important to me ether way. I ran faster, my heart pumped faster, everything started to blurr by. Nothing could stop me. I ran harder, the harder I ran the less I thought. I ran so had I stopped thinking, everything was stopped excepted for my legs.

I blacked out.

I was dreaming of running still. The freedom I felt. Light hit my face and I knew I could not go back to sleep but I tried to anyway. I rolled over and my arms landed on top of a breathing body. It startled me, I controlled myself waking him as I sat up. It was Lysander. I looked down and saw I was naked, as was he. It took every bit of strength I had to walk quietly instead of jolt out the door. I was in the living room of the cabin. I had fallen asleep on the fur rug and woken up next to Lysander who must have done the same thing. I walked quickly but quietly up the stairs and when I reached the top step I ran to my new room. 

I swung open the door and screamed while covering myself. Liam was in my room building a book shelve. Liam dropped the hammer and started to laugh. I threw a shoe at him and he covered his face still laughing. 

“Get out! Leave! Now. Please. Liam! Stop!” I started throwing more things at him. Liam walked out of the room. When he left I slammed the door behind him then tore open boxes trying to find my clothes. I tossed on clothes that completely covered me. I couldn’t help but feel weird. I’m not sure how much they saw of me, but they weren’t shy last night and I saw a lot. I wasn’t sure how to feel, awkward jumped out at me. But it was more than awkward. How many girls can you name that have slept over at a guys house, woke up naked, next to a naked man and still be a virgin. Right now I can only name myself. I had nothing to lose but walking downstairs didn’t feel like the best idea in the world. 

I looked at the time, it was only seven. How was it only seven? I smiled ear to ear when I thought of school. No one there’s seen me naked! Leaving down the stairs meant I would run into the boys and a chance they would stop me. So I naturally climbed out the window. I ran to school. When I got to the school I had sweated through my shirt. My car was still in the student parking lot and I jogged over to it. I always kept a change of clothes in it. I tossed on the new outfit in while in the back seat of my car then put my hair in a ponytail. I grabbed a note book in my car that had random scribbles of songs I wrote and a pen. I got to my class and look straight ahead at the teacher. 

When Bramm walked into class my heart stopped. It felt like years since I’ve seen him, it was only yesterday. He looked at me for a moment and in that moment I saw myself when he had hurt me. It’s made me laugh at myself, it didn’t look right to Bramm, me laughing at that moment but I couldn’t explain it to him now, maybe not ever. I sat during the class just thinking. About everything, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I carefully pulled it out of my pocket and looked. Serena texted me, SAVE ME. I didn’t understand the message other then I was going to need to enter the Nerd Wing and get out of the class I was in. 

I raised my hand and requested a bathroom pass. I was granted the little piece of yellow paper that gave me the right to roam the halls during class. I passed the bathrooms and walked outside. I saw the large building and walked towards it. I looked through the doors tiny slit window and a row of computers with guys in front of them. I open the door and walked in. The tall gawky male teacher spotted me immediately walked over to me. 

“What do we have here?” He tried to look at me with authority; he couldn’t pull it off well. “Why are you here?”

“Serena? I was told to talk to her.” I said. Normally if you didn’t seem nervous or jumpy you could get away with sort of thing. He eyed me then shrugged his shoulders, he pointed out a large mass of boys surrounding a computer screen. I walked over there and shoved my way into the group. “Serena?” 

Serena was on the computer typing in computer code. She looked like she was going to cry, she wasn’t closing her eyes. The boys where chanting her name happily blind to what see looked like. I touched her arm she didn’t even flinch.

“Serena! SERENA!” I nearly screamed it in her ear. She looked over at me and smiled. “Come on, I got you out.” 

Serena played to her crowd. She sighed and shrugged to the guys until we walked threw door. Serena walked fast to the benches. She was quite for a moment and stretched. She finally relaxed and looked at me. 

“Thank you.” Serena took a deep breath.

“What was going on in there?” 

“I was challenged to create a website before another guy. I haven’t been beaten yet all the guys are so upset about being beaten by me. I’m done! I want regular school again. I hate this. Do you know that when I try and go to sleep at night I can still hear the clicking and tapping of computer keyboards? I haven’t actually slept since the night of that party. Now I can’t even go out, your married and I’m in a scholastic jail.” Serena was venting to me, I missed this. It used to be we’d talk everyday and tell each other everything. I told her lies and half truths, I hated myself. “So tell me something. How about you’re Lysander? It’s sort of weird to call him your husband.”

“Well I woke up next to him and he was naked, that was new.” Not a lie. Not a half truth just a normal truth. “I snuck out of the cabin and came to school. Bramm hates me.”

“Oh really? Why is that?” She asked, finally something I could be honest about. 

“Bramm kissed me.” I waited for the appropriate shock from Serena. She didn’t disappoint. “Yeah once on the grass in the field and then again in the theater. The theater though was more than a kiss, he felt me up. It was sort of nice being chased after like that.”

“How could you do that to Lysander? You’re married now. Kissing Bramm is bad enough, add in adultery that’s an oober sin. God should b***h slap you.” Serena was serious. She thought for a moment. “It figures he would like you after you get married. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said god should b***h slap you. But what about Lysander?”

“I told Bramm I loved Lysander and he backed off. It happened yesterday. He’s super pissed.” I laughed at the thought. 

“You know Lysander is way hotter than Bramm right? I mean I prefer Liam but I’m a sucker for dark hair.” Serena paused. “You think you could ask Lysander to ask Liam to do a double date with him, you, Liam, and me?” 

I smiled at the thought. She didn’t realized that she asked to walk into a pack of wolves. Werewolves no less. I wanted this to happen though, I wanted to keep Serena in my life, she was the best friend I’d ever had. She knew me better then I knew myself at times and she never talked bad about me. I’d had those two face friends that pretend to your face then your turn you back and suddenly they spread rumors that make the friendship not worth the fuse. I knew could be a rough sell but I agreed to it. I said not to worry, I’d take care of it. Now, if only I knew how I was going to do this. What would he say? 

Maybe Liam would be less likely to try anything if he were in a romantic relationship with my friend. I had two issues with guys I need to figure out, I didn’t need Liam to hate me like Bramm did. I convinced her to go back to class. The bell had rung and I knew I needed to go to History. She wasn’t pleased with the idea of it but knew I was right. She and I left bench in separate directions. 

I sat down in my seat in history next to Liam who had a large smile on his face. I wanted to punch him, the smile was too big for a slap to be satisfactory. I knew he was going to want to talk. Lucky for him the teacher want us to group up to do a presentation a week from now about the Holocaust. I thought this to be a odd but it didn’t faze Liam. He was just happy with his smile.

“Hey there.” Liam looked at me. He wanted something; I could feel him wanting me to ask him something. I didn’t give in. “Oh alright, I saw everything. You know you’re the first real girl I’ve seen naked?”

If I could I had eaten anything today it would have been spewed all over him. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. This wasn’t fair if I were a guy this wouldn’t be an issue. If they weren’t guys, or if they were gay. 

“I’m sorry, it just from the look of it, you’ve never seen a guy like that before and I just wanted to let you know I was in the same boat as you.” He was at least being quiet. 

“You’re going on a date with Serena.” I told him like a command.

“Look at you trying to be all Alpha. That doesn’t work on me, I’m your maker. Now what makes you think I’d go on a date with a human?”

“Because you saw me naked and your being an a*s. This way you’re forgiven… and where do you get off putting down humans, you were one and so was I.” The room was so loud I could have shouted this sentence and I would have been lucky if any other group heard me. “Please. Go on a double with her. You, me, Lysander, and Serena. It would mean a lot to me.” 

“Fine. I’ll doubt Lysander will be happy about it, he’ll do it. He really does like you. It figures I bite the girl and he gets to keep her. Unless you bite Bramm or something.” Liam laughed at the thought. “Don’t do that by the way. Oh and if you need any reassurance, I already have this project done.”

“Oh, okay.” I couldn’t think of what to say other than that. 

“Like you didn’t already guess that. Should I get Serena anything? Flowers?” Liam wasn’t used to dating. Neither was I and it made me forgive him for the smile, I wasn’t going to let him know that yet though. 

“You might want to start by asking her yourself. Look at it this way you’re one of the few guys that have guaranty for her to say yes.” He nodded. “Why do I not feel hungry?”

“Umm, we ate last night.” He looked down after saying that and stated to write something. I remembered now, I ate an elk or deer. It had antlers; it could have been a reindeer even. It was weird to think I killed and eat a deer with my two hands, well paws or maybe they where claws. I looked again at Liam and saw the black wolf from the night before. He was beautiful but I couldn’t help but think that Lysander was better; I felt bad thinking that because I didn’t feel like I had a right to feel that. Or maybe I did have a right to feel that way and was scared that I did. I was talking myself into circles. I didn’t have time for that. Liam waved his hands at me to get my attention. “Look I talked to Lysander about school, he wasn’t pleased with out the window but he wants you to graduate. But if you… do anything that could bring light to our situation we’ll have to move. Or worse.” 

Or worse, that probably meant that if I told or killed or did anything that wasn’t good that I would be killed. I didn’t know what all the rules were. I tried to ask about them but they seemed unwilling to tell me all of them or any of them for that matter. Liam wrote out our whole presentation before the bell even rang. I looked over what he wrote. It was like reading a news report, no personality all fact. He detached himself from personality to cope. It made since, at least it did to me. 

The bell rang and I found that I had no other classes with Liam, I found that to be comfort for me. Bramm continued to ignore me, I knew that would happen. He needed time, like I needed time when the roles were reversed. I waited outside the nerd wing for Serena. Liam walked outside looking for someone. He spotted me and walked over.

“Hey you want a ride home?” 

“Thanks but I got my car, I need to talk to Serena when she get out. So I may be here a while.”

“Oh, this is where Serena is? Alright then.” He walked passed me into the building. I was shocked, he walked in more than confident. I got up and looked through the slit window. I watched as Liam stood in the middle of two rows talking to Serena. Serena never acted giggly or girly but right in that moment Liam could have asked her to dress like Paris Hilton and she would have. When the teacher came up to talk to him he seemed unconcerned. He held up his hand in a wait a moment pose then spoke to Serena. She smiled then nodded her head shyly. Liam then shook the teacher’s hand then came back towards the door. 

“It’s been done.” Liam looked proud of himself. “I asked she said yes.”

I watched as Liam walked away. I shank to the ground with my back to the wall. I was stalling; Liam might have known this but let it slide. He didn’t push me to go home, but I was horrified by the idea of seeing Lysander. I cared what he thought of me and there’s more than a good chance he and I slept next to each other naked. Isn’t that supposed to be something you do when you’ve been dating or at least when you’ve had sex with the person? I waited outside the class for an hour when Serena finally came out. She smiled when she saw me and sat next to me.

“How come it took you an hour to get out of that place?” I asked.

“I left early; everyone else is still in there.” She said flatly. I got up and looked down at her. She took her time to get up. “So did you put up Liam to ask me out?”

“Yeah well you asked me too.” We both laughed for a moment. “You want a ride home?” 

We walked over to my car and I drove to my old street. I stopped and let Serena out at her house. After she got out I decided to stop by my parent’s house. I was surprised to see my dad’s truck in the driveway. They weren’t supposed to be back till tomorrow. I parked my car and got out. I walked into the house it was silent. My dad could normally be found watching Fox News in the living room or stomping around the house. I walked up to my old room and pushed the door open. My mom was sitting on my old bed. She looked up, saw me and nearly bowled me over in a hug.

“Where were you? We got home last night. I’ve called the police and they said I had to wait twenty four hours, you dad went to the school to check if you where at school, they said you gotten into a black Hummer before the end of school. Your things where gone.” She hugged me tight again. “Where were you?”

“Mom… there’s something I need to tell you… I just  need to use the bathroom” My mother looked so worried it was hard to leave her alone. I went into the bathroom and pulled out my cell phone and called Lysander. “Lysander, I need you to come over to my parent’s house now. Like five minutes ago. Please Lysander I need you.”

I got his voice mail. I sat on the toilet and stared at the wall. The old wall peach wall paper fading because of age. The bathroom was my only safety zone from lying to my mother. I loved her more than anyone, she was my rock and she would do anything to protect me. I couldn’t hurt her and I knew me leaving with a man she’s never met would hurt her. I waited on that toilet seat praying that Lysander would call back give me hope of some kind. Anything. I was waiting in the bathroom going on ten minutes when my mom knocked on the door.

“Sweetheart, are you alright?” She asked.

“Yeah mom, just give me a minute.” I didn’t know what else to say. I would have to go down there and tell her the lie that I had told everyone else. 

“Oh well I just wanted to let you know a Lysander is downstairs right now. He wanted to see you. Who’s Lysander? Is he your boyfriend?” I threw open the door.  “Don’t forget to flush darling.”

“Okay well go down and I’ll wash my hands.” I turned around and flushed the toilet and made my way down the steps. Lysander was sitting on a chair eating a cookie my mom must have given to him in the kitchen. It was the kitchen that my mom convinced my dad to re-do. It was brand new everything, appliances where all black and the countertops where a dark turquoise with white oak cabinets. The floor didn’t really match with the rest of the kitchen but we started to run out of money do my dad losing his job. I looked at Lysander sitting there eating the cookie he looked so out of place. He seemed to perfect to be sitting there eating the cookie in the mix matched kitchen.

“Hey there.” Lysander said this so causally that it made me smile. “I got your call. Your mom is outside, your father’s called. He’s telling her that he’s at a bar drunk, he heard you married me.” 

“What?” This didn’t make since, my dad got drunk at home, not in bars he thought them below him. 

“Your mother’s not happy with him.” Lysander took my hand and placed it in his. My mother walked in the room moments later. She looked down at our hands, I tried to pull my hand away but he wouldn’t let me. 

“Did you move out of this house?” My mother asked calmly. “Did you get married? Is this your husband?”

“Yes.” My mother sat down and looked at us. I didn’t know what she was going to do. She sat there for a long time not doing anything. Lysander put his arms around me. He stopped me from going over to my mom.

“I don’t know you, Lysander was it? I don’t know you and that scares me. You’ll be eating dinner here tonight.”

“I’m sorry but we are eating with my family tonight. If you like we could have dinner together tomorrow night.” 

“Fine. Then your father can be sober.” My mom said. “Eve, I’m disappointed in you, I can’t believe you would get married and not tell me. Who do you live with?”

“I own property about twenty five minutes from here. I inherited it when some family died. My younger brother, Eve, and I live there.” Lysander looked at his watch. “We better go, we’ll be late.”

My mother hugged me again, then let us leave. I jumped into the Hummer leaving my car keys with my mom. The insurance and the rest of the papers for the car was in my father’s name. No need to tempt fate, if my father was drunk he might do something like tell the cops I stole it. Lysander didn’t wait very long to talk to me.

“When where you going to tell me we are to double date with Liam and Serena?” I wasn’t surprised he knew, he knew everything it seemed. 

“Right now I guess, we’ll have dinner with your parents tomorrow then on Friday have that disaster.” Lysander wasn’t pleased. “Tonight you will need to change and on Thursday you’ll need to again.”

“Why?” I asked. 

“Because you’re a pup, you’ll change tonight because you need to its still a full moon. Changing releases stress and the likelihood that you’ll change when you don’t want to. You can change night or day. Day takes a lot more energy and won’t last as long. You don’t want to know what would happen if you refused to change.”

Lysander didn’t look over at me for the rest of the drive. When we got back to the cabin Lysander started removing his clothes. I hesitated and Lysander stopped.

“Look I’ve seen you naked. You’ve seen me naked. This is not normal if you’re a human. As a were you’ll have to do this. If you want you can keep ruining your clothing but you’ll hate shopping and spending all your money.” Lysander took a deep breath. “I haven’t talked to this many normally people in a long time. It’s stressful for me. I’ll run a head I’ll run straight. Follow, if I don’t hear you in five minuets I’ll turn around.”

Lysander kept to his word and took the rest of his clothes off and took off. I tossed my clothes and ran behind him. It felt good to run again and when the sun came down I changed, this time the change was faster and cleaner. Letting myself become the animal inside of me was easy. Maybe it was too easy. Once I became an werewolf nothing else mattered. Nobody except the white wolf. The white wolf who ran in front of me now meant a lot to me, I wondered for a moment where the black wolf was. I cared but not enough to stop running or hunting.

That night was a lot like the first, except any pain that I had felt the night before never came. It felt more than wonderful. It had felt like something was missing in me. I always liked the wrong guys and felt as if nobody truly understood me, not even me. But in these moments running, being something more than human more than normal I found myself. 

I could feel when it was time to go back home. I followed the white wolf home he nudged the door open and we walked inside. Liam was sitting on the couch playing video games. He paused it and looked at us.

“You guys couldn’t wait for me? Thanks.” Liam continued to play his game after that. The white wolf walked up the stairs I followed. I couldn’t stop myself from following him. He pushed open a door and jumped onto the bed in the room. The white wolf laid down on the bed and I stayed sitting on the floor. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. The white wolf lifted his head and gestured me to go sleep. I didn’t want to leave the white wolf, I felt safe with him and I wasn’t ready to lose that yet. The white wolf yawned making me yawn. The white wolf then allowed me to climb on the bed. I fell asleep in seconds. 

I woke up, I slowly realized where I was and who was with me. Lysander was still asleep; at least I was pretty sure he was. I snuck out of his room and made my way into my room. I looked at the clock it was seven. It was also Wednesday, that meant school. I tossed on clothes and walked down stairs. Lysander and Liam were already eating. 

“I thought you were sleeping?” I grabbed a box of Lucky Charms and poured myself a record breaking bowl of cereal for size and started eating. 

“I was, but I woke up.” Lysander didn’t second guess my large bowl of cereal. My mother would have flipped a lid if she saw this bowl. 

“He won’t let me drive the Hummer so he always drives me, well now I guess us to school.” Liam shoved another large bite of food into his mouth. He didn’t wait to swallow before he started to talk again. “I can’t believe you guys didn’t wait for me. I got here and you were gone.”

“She needed to have as much time as possible. We’re having dinner with her parents.” Lysander ate just as much as Liam but not in large bites, he ate quickly. “As soon as we leave that house she’ll have to change.”

“Why did you schedule it so early then?” Liam asked. I wondered why they were talking about me like I wasn’t there.

“A mothers in this day and age could easily make our lives more difficult. If she were to think I was holding captive her only daughter then…”

“I’m not an only child.” I said. 

“Well she could call the cops to check up on us. I can’t deal with another Seattle.” Lysander didn’t look at Liam or me again.

“What happened in Seattle?” I asked. Lysander’s whole body clenched and Liam didn’t do much better.

“We killed people Seattle.” Liam looked away from me now. “That’s more then you needed to know.”

“Let’s get you guess to school.” Lysander got up and walked out the door. Liam had that same look on his face when he talked about his father’s death. It hurt me to look at it. 

“Please drop it.” Liam knew I wanted more information. “Come on.” 

I hopped into the Hummer and we drove to school. Waiting outside the school for me was Serena. I got out of the Hummer and she walked over to me. Lysander gracefully got out of the Hummer and wrapped his arm around me casually. 

“Hello Lysander. Eve, my parent’s let me transfer back to my normal classes. My step dad jumped into my corner and convinced my mom.” She paused when Liam got out of the Hummer. “Hey Liam.” 

“I better go.” Lysander then turned my head and kissed me. Not a short kiss, a long one that had more than a few eyes watching us. “Bye. Oh Liam can you find a way home after school?”

I knew this meant run home but Serena jumped at the chance to hang out with Liam. I saw it in her eyes before she asked the question. Liam started to walk off with Serena following him.

“It would be funny if he actually fell for her.” Lysander said as he hopped into the Hummer. I looked at him inquisitively, he smiled at me. “A wolf falling for a girl with the name that meant moon?”

I laughed as Lysander drove away. I walked up the steps to see Bramm standing there. I suddenly felt bad. His face was twisted into a painful expression that was a mixture of rage and sadness. I didn’t understand why though. He had hurt me and I took it bad but he took it as if I slapped him in the face or spread rumor of him having a n****e. I walked up the steps and past him. I would have continued if he hadn’t grabbed my arm. He pulled me down, I then sat next to him and he let go. He was silent.

“Class will start soon.” I said in hopes that this would be quick.

He looked to be on the brink of saying something but couldn’t. So we sat there. Bramm not knowing what to say and me not knowing what to say either. I stayed with him until the bell rang. Nothing changed, nothing was said, and yet maybe that was the change and maybe us saying nothing was saying a lot.