Numbing

Masami adjust to life at Aiko with more surprises on the horizon.

Chapter Two: Numbing

 

 In the mornings at Aiko, Konoharu scheduled exactly what he wanted done and dictated to the staffers who he wanted to execute each task. Working as an assistant under Konoharu proved somewhat more difficult than Masami anticipated. The work was not difficult, Konoharu was an efficient delegator of all tasks concerning Aiko, but there was little training, and much to learn in the months he spent underneath him. Konoharu had a lot of influence over the staffers at Aiko, and no one questioned his ability. He had only been the head less than a year, but he commanded a loyalty and respect with the staffers at Aiko. So Masami gritted his teeth and conformed to the general consensus. He tried hard to quell the memory of his first encounter, when Konoharu had stripped him almost bare. The biggest hang up he had was that for 22 years, he’d never encountered anyone who’d challenged him so openly.  He couldn’t make any sense of the brazen accusations Konoharu made, and although he mulled it over a hundred times in his head, he couldn’t shake the feeling of having been unnoticeably unmasked. His ego took quite the hit when Konoharu rebutted his slick words and cut into the reason for Masami’s position at Aiko. He was certain that after he looked away from Konoharu that time when his burning gaze engulfed his heart, that his lie about children had somehow been revealed. However, to Masami’s smug surprise, the very opposite proved extraordinarily true. Konoharu asked him to come back as his underling, and assistant.

Is this a trap?

 

 He considered this as many times as he’d obsessed over his beaten vanity, but in the end, he settled on taking the job for his unchecked predilection for getting his way.

 A spoiled orphan---who has ever seen such a sight?

The thought of Konoharu toying with him licked hungrily at his gut and the sensation mortified him. Even though Masami despised Aiko in more ways than he could communicate, his dislike for Konoharu became more like an obsession. He thirsted for more information, the reason for which Masami didn’t even know. Part of it was an attempt to discover information he could hold over Konoharu the way Konoharu held something intangible over him.  In every conversation he had with the staffers where Konoharu’s name was mentioned he probed cautiously for more information about the man, but the staffers knew very little about Konoharu’s upbringing. In reality other than the fact that they knew he attended T-University (they only knew this because Konoharu had disclosed this information himself) the staffers were quite ignorant of Konoharu’s past. Not that they were interested. Konoharu was a good leader and a great director and that was all they concerned themselves with. Nonetheless, the curiosity inside Masami grew steadily as the time with Konoharu passed.  Additionally, the thought of being back at Aiko simultaneously disgusted and elated him. He came back to the place where he started, just like he wanted and had plans for his future that directly correlated with his return to the orphanage, but Masmi’s past at Aiko haunted him. Though he made sure his outward mask was flawless, his disdain for Aiko and his fear of Konoharu finding out the truth festered in his insides. The one thing Masami was certain of was that Konoharu knew something about him no one else had discovered, and that thought made him uneasy.

 

 

 

A plain girl with long, black, hair, circular glasses and a round face entered Konoharu’s office with a solemn expression on her face. She apologized for entering without an appointment and Konoharu brushed off her formality with a wave of his hand and concerned smile. Masami both despised and envied the way Konoharu could have so much authority in Aiko, and yet be so familiar with all the staffers. He knew everyone by name, and said good morning smiling warmly and inquiring about their personal affairs as if he had endless time to small talk throughout the day. Masami had followed him enough in Aiko now to know exactly how and with whom Konoharu communicated with, although Masami himself didn't concern himself with any of their names. Personally he found asking about personal matters only made others feel comfortable enough to divulge private information and to talk endlessly, so he avoided it at all cost. However, Konoharu sought out interaction with all the staffers. As a result, Masami was forced to send his condolences when he heard about a staffers sick wife, and his congratulations when he heard about one staffers new grandchild. In spite of his obligatory manners, he knew that Konoharu’s concern for the staffers and their affairs was genuine and it irked him indescribably. Every time he saw Konoharu smile sweetly and talk leisurely with the other staffers his idea of authority was shaken. When Masami lived there, the relationship between the director and staffers was as cold and as hard as steel. They didn’t speak to one another outside of business matters dealing with the school and children, and there was a clear cut distinction between the head and underling. Since most of his own relationships at school and personal were calculated and manipulated, his only source of unhinged interaction was from what he saw between others. He found the relationship Konoharu had with his staff dysfunctional, but what irritated him more, was that Konoharu made no effort to extend an olive branch to him after their shaky start. Masami was dutiful and disciplined in his work. He felt that if he worked hard, Konoharu would notice him and commend him for his work ethic. Konoharu was just a man. He could be lured. It seemed, to Masami, that Konoharu wanted him to prove himself, so he worked harder, and tried to be as proficient in his work as possible, but each attempt seemed as unfruitful as the one before. Much to his frustration, grabbing Konoharu’s attentions seemed unachievable and  Konoharu seemed unimpressed.

“Konosuke is still not feeling well. His temperature is 101. Should we take him to the hospital?” The woman stood in front of Konoharu’s desk anxiously waiting for his reply with empathy all over her round face. Konoharu put his forehead on his right hand and breathed deeply.

 

“When is the last time he’s had medicine?”

“At  12 sir.”

“When’s the last time he used the bathroom, drank fluids?”

“Fumi gave him water at 9 and at approximately 11:00am he used the restroom.”

Konoharu looked pensive. “We'll give Konosuke a cool bath. Give him fresh clothes and strip his linens. Also I want Shigo moved out of his room for right now.”

It would be a headache if another child caught the same cold, thought Masami.

“If Konosuke does not improve by 5 today I will send word to the Dr. Araya.”

“Sir, won’t the clinic be closed after 5?” Despite their business like tones, for a staffer to be questioning Konoharu's instructions marked their familiarity with one another. Masami noted all this with irritation but continued to take in the exchange between the two in silence.

“I know Dr. Araya he’s especially knowledgeable in this matter and we’re also associates from school. I’m sure if I make the call he’ll see Konosuke.” He smiled. “But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” He stood up suddenly and turned to Masami sitting eagerly in the studded chair across from Konoharu’s desk. “Itagaru. Did you write all that down?” Masami blinked startled by the sudden notice. Konoharu rounded on him again. “Make sure you write Konosuke’s condition down and file it. It’s important that we have good notes. For ourselves and for the doctor.” He was not scolding Masami, but his tone was sharp and business like. He didn’t speak to Masami like the woman who stood obediently in front of him, and Masami’s position was clear.

Just an Underling.

“Yes sir.” Masami felt embarrassed he hadn’t thought of this himself, but obligingly grabbed his worn notepad from his bag and began scribbling all that Konoharu and the woman had exchanged about the sick child. After he’d confirmed all that transferred between the two, Konoharu told Masami to follow him to Konosuke’s room. 

Konosuke was in group one for a little while longer until his birthday in December. Group one’s rooms were on the first floor of Aiko, closest to the staffers rooms and closest to the bathrooms and kitchens. They walked through the wooden arch that separated the main hallway to the hallway of the youngest of the children’s rooms. Konoharu, Masami and the young woman walked into Konosuke and Shigo’s room quietly. When they entered, they smelled the sickness of the air and felt the heat from the space heater in the corner of the room. Masami looked around the child’s room he shared with the boy named Shigo. The walls were painted blue similar to the teal of the ceiling of the living room. There were a number of calligraphy pictures on the wall which were quite well done. Masami had studied calligraphy in University so he knew a little about it. The lights were dim, but Masami could see clearly the boy had been holed up in the room for quite some time. There were some toys and clothes scattered about, and Konosuke laid in the twin wooden bed looking smaller and frailer than any child Masami had ever witnessed. He noticed the boy immediately as the toothless child who’d smiled at him when interviewing with Konoharu initially.  Masami’s first thought looking at the boy now was that he looked like a mouse. The twin bed was not large, but his frame looked minute and weak against the frame and heavy quilt they wrapped him in. His face was paler than Masami had remembered and he had beaded sweat on his forehead. He was well below average height and weight with dull brown wiry hair and large protruding ears.  Konoharu leaned in close to Konosuke and wiped the cold sweat from the child’s brow with a cloth the woman had given to him from the bed side.

“Chiisai.” He called quietly. The child stirred, and blinked lazily awake. “How are you feeling?”

Konosuke smiled lifelessly and exposed his missing teeth. “I’m alright. Feel a bit doggy at the moment.”

“A bit doggy huh?” Konoharu chuckled. “I think you mean dodgy.” He observed Konosuke more tenderly than before and continued in a more coiling tone. “Listen, Aoi is going to change your bedding. I also want you to get in the tub and cool off a bit ok?”

“Don’t really want to move sir.” Konosuke looked exhausted. His body looked as weak as he sounded and even though Masami had never studied medicine he could tell that whatever was afflicting the child was not a simple cold.

“I know I know. It’s hard to move in such a state, but I don’t want to have to take you to Dr. Araya’s, right now you’re burning up, and you’re laying in cold sweat… So if you have any more strength in you, if you could take a bath it would make me very happy.”

The boy closed his eyes for a moment, and then began to struggle against the heavy quilt to release himself from his bed. Aoi hurried over and helped Konosuke out of the bed and towards his room door.

As soon as Konosuke left with the staffer revealed as Aoi, Konoharu begin to gather the sheets, pillows and comforter quickly. He took the hamper from the corner and stuffed all the contents in. Then he left out of the room holding the hamper in front of him, leaving the door open behind him. When he came back he had fresh sheets with a comforter, a large bottle of disinfectant and yellow rubber gloves for cleaning. Masami knew for a fact the directors of Aiko were not responsible for the cleaning, but he watched Konoharu tidying up, digesting the strange scene in silence. Even disinfecting Konosuke’s room meticulously and speaking calmly to the sick mousy boy, he could feel a refined status in Konoharu. He never raised his voice, his answers were always concise and yet filled with warmth. Masami could see plainly that Konoharu sincerely loved his job, and that is why the staffers respected him so much. The force of the truth overwhelmed and his stare intensified. He watched Konoharu unblinkingly and his striking presence enveloped him once more.

 

“How old is Konosuke?” Masami asked Konoharu when they finally left his side after he fell asleep again. It was well past 12am and they were walking in the dimly lit hallway on the way back towards Konoharu’s room. Masami could have taken the other stairwell over to his side of Aiko, but he still was captured by Konoharu’s mien from earlier and decided to follow him back through the hall and cross over at the steps leading to Konoharu's room. He could tell Konoharu was tired, he walked languidly and had his hair was damp from sweating in Konosuke’s stifling room.

“He’s 6. He’s small but he has a spark at the top. He’s very smart- he’s at the top of the class.” Konoharu glanced momentarily at Masami and then looked away continuing down the hallway towards his room. The director’s room was on the second floor in the west wing near group three. Masami noticed his sudden stare and felt discomfited by the eyes on him immediately. He wasn’t sure if Konoharu was examining him to see gauge his interest in Konosuke, or for his real intentions. Though the two thoughts were similar, the one on the probed end of the experience felt quite discomfited under his microscopic gaze.

“But---there was something wrong with him right? I mean that wasn’t just a cold.” It was the first time Masami had asked about any of the children in Aiko outside of his work, and he attached himself particularly due to Konoharu’s obvious interest in the child. As if Konoharu could read his mind, he stopped in his tracks. His jewel like eyes met Masami’s hazel eyes directly on.

“In your time at Aiko, the boys who were over achievers were noticed and those who did not excel tended to be dismissed. Only those who were fit survived the harshness that seeped through these walls.” Konoharu paused dramatically and continued his overture. “Aiko in this respect has changed quite a bit since I became the head, because I despise people who rest on premeditated self-worth. It is possible for us all to get ahead in this world. We all have something to offer. Even Konosuke.” In a slow graceful movement he pushed Masami without effort against the wooden hallway wall and pressed his hand against it to steady himself as he leaned over to him, "...even you Masami.”  Masami’s throat tightened at Konoharu’s closeness and to hear his first name being called so seductively. His name rolled off Konoharu's tongue in a low whisper. His ears rang with an uncontrollable alarm. Instinctively Masami turned his gaze away and shut his eyes. He could hear his heartbeat intensify as he shut down one of his senses, but ignored the pounding and put his hands up towards Konoharu’s broad chest to rebuff the man’s contact. He could feel his senses heightening, the blood rushing to his face and his hair sticking up on his neck. He could feel a prickling pain under his arms like a hot iron. 

His voice trembled “What are you doing Konoharu?” He did not open his eyes because he was afraid of Konoharu’s stare. He could feel an invisible thread between the two of them connecting them. Even though Konoharu wasn’t touching him, his body permeated with an unknown desire.

Too close. 

Konoharu stood there in front of Masami for a while, and watched him lose control under his smoldering gaze. Then, after what for Masami felt like hours, Masami felt the draftiness of the hallway brush against his reddened face, which let him know Konoharu had finally walked away. He did not follow him.  He stood in the hall way alone, with his panting breath penetrating the silence of Aiko.

Konoharu knew the old ways of Aiko better than anyone, because he was the one who changed the orphanage. In the years before him, many of the directors and staffers operated on a system of “perks”. Those who were cute, smart and talented stood out among those who were not. Those who were capable rose, and those who were useless fell. It was this unspoken rule and order of Aiko that seemed to attach itself to every boy who was unfortunate enough to live there. Even after leaving Aiko, it seemed that your usefulness was regarded as a much greater attribute than any other contribution to society. Therefore, as many deduced, if you could be smart enough, and endearing enough you could do well enough in Aiko to succeed in the inside of these walls, and the outside. Masami understood these rules as well, as someone who’d lived by them.   In Masami’s days at Aiko it was exactly the way Konoharu described. Masami was not only the favorite of the staffers; he was the most popular among the students as well, which happened rarely. He extended himself congenially, and helped to tend to the smaller children even in his free time. But his most important ambition, above all, was achievement. He wanted to do more, be more, and acquire more than any other boy at Aiko, and to do that his arrogance needed to be checked. He understood there was no room for his protruding ego in the low status he derived from at Aiko. So instead, he was good-natured enough to be doted on and humble enough to accept his dealt hand. So Masami learned to drink out of his vanity cup in private and still face the students and staff at Aiko in his practiced unassuming charm. The idea of becoming successful without a large amount of manipulation and duplicity was foreign to Masami and the stirring emotion in his heart, and his panting breath when Konoharu hovered over him menacingly soft, were foreign to him as well. 

Author's Note

Hope you enjoyed this new chapter. Feel free to leave your feedback!

Reviews

[Amaya Sullivan]

This is amazing. Taking your time to develop the characters while keeping readers interest is serious talent. I really love reading this. I hope you will continue writing. I am incapable and find it hard to describe things, and I am a very visual person. I have to often time look up pictures or even act out what I would like to describe before writing it.

It appears to come so easy and effortless to you. I admire your talent greatly.

[E.A.B]

Thank you so much. The new chapter is coming soon. Your feedback is like gold. Thank toy for taking the time to read.

[Ermadski Erma & Rei Zy]

Wow… cool indeed excellent write.
The whole scenario was incredibly well stated.
The emotions are very well conveyed.
I like it very much >_<
As a reader it made me think, ‘Does that mean that Konoharu and Masami have known each other in that orphanage ever since?’
I’m really puzzled now on what’s behind on all the actions of the characters…
I’ll look forward to read more ^_^
Good job ^_^

[E.A.B]

Fu~fu~fu. You'll have to wait to find out their connection. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Next chapter coming soon