Prayer Book (I)

i’ve searched everywhere,

tearing every veil i’ve found;

still you are hidden.

 

you gave me this heart

that longs to be joined with yours,

yet is set apart.

 

i have drowned in you,

just to wash ashore again,

weary, but breathing.

 

you flew past your face,

landed gently on your branch,

and smiled at yourself.

 

i saw you in a

‘v’ formation, sevenfold,

soaring across me.

 

everywhere i look

i find strange symbols that seem

to point everywhere.

 

when i feel holy,

i like to think about you

so you can exist.

 

because you have prayed

so often to me, i will

return the favour.

 

let me define you

in such a way that i’ll know

you are undefined.

 

if we are real, then

let us create each other

in our own image.

 

i’ve no name for you.

when i am silent, it is

then that i call you.

 

and yet you answer,

only when i speak to you

rhetorically.

 

are you my father?

i your mother? we brethren?

or are we the same?

 

heavenly father,

i would like to speak to the

woman of the house.

 

heavenly mother,

when shall you join your husband

in holy union?

 

i would speak to you

if i thought you would listen.

here, take my silence.

 

taught to fear your name,

i’ve endeavored to forget.

have you done the same?

 

i eat and drink you.

i breathe you in and back out.

i make love with you.

 

i empty my mind,

hoping to make enough room

for the thought of you.

 

the bell tolls for thee.

you answer in an echo

that you are the bell.

 

who would have thought it –

that hell would turn out to be

so much like heaven?

 

can you take away

my desire for you to take

away my desire?

 

and can you fill me

with the deepest longing that

knows no fulfillment?

 

i give you myself

merely as a symbol, for

you’ve always had it.

 

i give you yourself,

for i have no need of it.

still, you return it.

 

shall i release you?

as long as i desire you,

how can i love you?

 

Reviews

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Interesting write. You have such conflicting feelings, I feel that you are speaking to God, searching for answers.

You have some excellent lines.

Very nice write.

Thanks for entering my contest. The best of luck to you.