Richard [Part 3]

'Kelly, are you awake?'

Kelly had fallen asleep holding her pillow to her ears; Joanne was snoring.

'Kelly?'

She gradually sat up, confused, her eyes squinting at me.

'Richard?'

I nodded.

'What time is it?'

'Twelve o clock.'

'Twelve?' she said, unconvinced.

'Yes.'

She slipped out of bed and out into the corridor.

'What's the matter Richard?'

'I found this in my room.'

I handed Kelly the envelope.

'Who is Pierre?' She asked.

'Don't you remember that story from earlier?'

Kelly stared at me blankly;

'Pierre is Lauras uncle,' I explained, 'the man with the secret kids.'

'Oh the adulterer.' She realised.

She examined the envelopes contents. Inside was a small folded note with some words on it. Neither of us could understand it.

'Joanne can read French, I could wake her?'

'No no,' I Insisted,'I don't want to wake anyone else.'

'You're sure it wasn't in there when you arrived?' Kelly asked.

'Yes I'm sure.'

I scoured the corridor.

'Did you see anyone up and around here when you walked back to your room earlier?'

Kelly pondered.

'I don't think so.'

'Well, there was a fire lit in my room which I'm positive wasn't me.'

'Fire?' She asked.

'Yes.' I hesitated; 'Someone lit a fire in my room while I was sleeping.'

'Why would someone do something like that?'

'A prank?' I said unsurely; 'I'm unsure. I just feel shook up.'

Kelly gripped my arm tightly;

'Do you think Dom and Laura did this?'

I remembered hearing their voices downstairs earlier.

'I suppose it's possible. I honestly don't know.'

She growled angrily.

'We have to be able to trust one another!' She said frustrated.

'I'll keep my door open a crack and you do the same. If I hear anyone moving about then il head straight out to you.'

She stroked the hair out of my face and looked up at me.

'It can be like that every night if needs be.'

She crept up onto her tiptoes and kissed me on the lips.

I glowed.

We hugged and before we parted I held Kelly for a moment, reminding myself of how she fit in my arms.

'I can't bare to think of someone hurting you Kelly.'

She softly pulled herself away.

'Would you like me to walk you back?' She asked gently.

'You don't have to do that.'


As I turned the corner toward my room, I could see the fire was still lit; the flames looked like fireflies through the ajar door. There was an unfamiliar sound. A woman was crying and as I pushed the door open the crying became tangibly close.
The source of the noise was sitting upright in my bed.
She had a large oval stomach and her legs were spread apart, her body filling the mattress.

'Who are you?' I asked.

The crying woman stopped sobbing and frowned. She pulled her hair back revealing two deep, bloody holes where her ears should have been.

'Quelle?'

A look of sudden dread filled the woman's face. I turned to where she was staring. A tall man, dragging an oxygen tank behind him, walked boldly through the open door and continued torward the bed. He was smiling and dazed. The woman became despairingly distressed, wailing loudly and frantically waving her arms.

'How can I help you?!' I shouted to her.

'Dans tes mains! Tes mains! Ma lettre!'

Lettre? I could understand that. I opened it back up again:

[Tu as pris ma vie, alors j'ai pris tes bébés]

I tried to dissever it again.
When I looked back up, the tall man was standing beside the woman. She was still and silent with fear.
He pulled a syringe from his long white jacket and stabbed the woman's inflated stomach. It burst like a balloon, blood and flesh flying from it. The woman screamed and with it I could feel the fire grow bigger beside me.

I blinked violently but nothing changed.

A thick transparent liquid seeped from the blown up mass. The woman looked down at it and whimpered.
She screamed again suddenly, tipping her head back, her body fragile and damp.

'Pierre.' She gasped.

Pierre smiled and covered the woman's face with the oxygen mask. Her breathing was heavy and constant. He walked to the foot of the bed and slowly slithered his two arms between her legs. He started tugging. The woman's screams were muffled by the mask, which turned white with her steaming breath. Her fingers scratched along the bedsheets as her body reeled, finally clasping on tightly to the bedposts.

Another scream rang out, louder and more piercing than the first. It dissolved into the faint sound of babies crying.

Pierre let out a smug moan. He scooped up the babies. There were two of them, all fresh with afterbirth and innocence. The man examined the little siblings. He took a pair of rusty scissors from another pocket and cut the umbilical cords.

The babies mother flung off her mask, 'Pierre! No, Pierre!'

Pierre didn't react, he instead turned to me smugly and walked out of the room with the twins.

'Ma bébés!' Screamed the mother.

Meanwhile the lit fire had lost control. It had spread far out of the safety of the fireplace and I could see the tops of the flames in front of me.
I dropped the letter into the bright abyss.

'No!' The woman let out a final, painful screech.

Her eyes rolled back and she crumbled into a pile of umber.

I ran to the bed and grabbed the duvet. I threw it over the fire which immediately engulfed it.

'The flames can't hurt me,' I reminded myself, 'I've been here before! Nothing can hurt me!'

I blinked again.

The fire continued to speedily consume the space.

Wake up for f***s sake!'

I slapped myself.



There was then a series of violent bangs on the bedroom door.

'Rich! Are you alright in there mate?!' It was Dom.

I was still glued to my spot by the fireplace. I tumbled to the floor. It felt like I had just crash landed.

I looked around. The fire was out, the nightlight was on and my duvet lay in a bundle by my feet. I examined the fireplace; some of the logs were black and charred and within the ashes I saw the envelope from earlier, still crisp, completely unscathed by flames. I pulled it free and looked inside. It was empty.

'Rich!' It was Dom again, louder.

I walked over to the door and opened it. Dom was propped up against the frame on the other side. He looked surprised. Laura, still wrapped in her blanket stood with Sam and Alex a few meters away, there faces rosy with concern.

'The boys heard shouting mate,' Dom said, returning to his normal self, 'we thought we would come and check on you.'

Dom walked in past me, followed by the other two. He scanned the room and noticed the duvet on the floor.

'What's this doing here then?' Dom picked it up and looked at me. I was speechless.

Dom spread the duvet back onto the bed. Laura patted it down and tucked it in.

'Rich mate, we all know how you get. I just want you to know that if you ever feel like talking about one of your episodes, you can talk to us about anything.'

He approached me and held out his hand. 'Why don't we make a deal to have a wonderful time here together? Yeah?'

I shook it. Dom seemed pleased.

'Good.' He said. 'Are you alright?'

'I'm fine,' I said back, 'I'm sorry I disturbed the peace. I was having a nightmare.'

'Nightmare?!' Alex sniggered. 'It sounded like a f*****g stage play.'

'Well, I hope you don't get another nightmare mate,' Dom looked at Laura and grinned, 'those things can drive you mad.'

'When we heard you shouting I thought maybe you'd seen a ghost!' Laura added playfully.
'I don't want you tripping out on us!'

Sam yawned loudly from over Dom's shoulder.

'We'll see you in the morning then mate.'

They slowly left, one by one. Dom slammed the door behind him as loudly as he could.

As they headed round the corner to their rooms, I could hear them laughing and talking together.

'You're more man than he ever will be.' Kelly's words were still fresh.

'Rich.'

I turned back towards the door. I opened it again. It was Joanne.

'Are you okay?' She asked quietly, moving into the room.

She paused.

'I came to give you this.'

She held out a small folded note. It was Pierres letter.

'You left it in our room earlier. Do you want to know what it means?'

I pondered.

'It means 'You killed our love so now I'm going to kill our babies.' Its very badly written French.'

'Am I awake?' I asked, confused.

'I hope so.' Joanne smiled pasifyingly.

'My brain hurts.' I rubbed my temples.

'There's something I want to show you.' She offered me her hand.

I looked at her. Joanne was smart and quiet. I took it.

Author's Note

Hi thanks for taking a look! Please let me know if the story is easy to follow and my if main protagonist is likeable! Also would love feedback on how to transform this from a young mans musings to a professional novel. Any help, feedback, comments greatly apprecoated.

Reviews

[Sira YR]

I am really intrigued by this story. I think it has a good foundation and i THINK a good plot (im a little bit lost on what's going on but the more i read the more i start to understand a little more about what's happening). The only thing i would say is to add a bit more descriptive elements as far as the scenery and the character's looks and features so that way your readers can see what you are seeing when you are writing the story. You want to convey your images to the characters. Right now, I have no clue what Rich or Dom looks like and the only thing I know about Kelly is that she has beautiful blonde hair and that she is white :). You should describe your characters and your scenery a little bit more. Other than that, I think that this is a very good start. Good, strong plot (a little confusing but still good), good dialogue, and okay description. Overall, I'd give it a ninety percent.

[E.A. Simon]

Hi! Thanks so much for your comments and reading of course! I'd be interested to see if others agree with you! The plot is slightly confusing I know.. I'm doing it intentionally now so you read on and then it becomes clearer over time but everything will be revealed and there's going to be a lot of unexpected elements so keep an eye on it!
As for characters you're right there's not much description. I think because of this in chapter 4 il do a brief description of Rich, Kelly and Joanne who you'll be introduced to. I think it's partly because I don't have a clear image of the characters yet and that's my fault. I don't want to white wash these characters either as there's no reason too!
Thanks again for your comments and reading! 👍🏻🤓😀

[Sira YR]

You are welcome and that's a good strategy (making the plot a little confusing) since that will make the reader want to read more to understand what's going on with the visions and stuff. You just have to be careful when doing that because if the plot is too confusing it will turn the reader off of what could have been a great book. However, i don't think that this will be an issue for you though. I am looking very forward to the next chapter. :)