THUG (what Angela saw)

Read the excerpt

 

What Angela saw.

Angela stood to the left of the ring as Tom endured blow after blow.

Sweat flung from his body with each powerful hit.

She knew that if Tom saw her, it would either be the undoing of him, or the spark it would take for him to win the championship.

Slowly she began to weave her way ringside, yelling his name as she moved through the throng.

As she made way closer, her screams became urgent, and through the roaring crowd she saw Tom turn, taking a vicious blow to his left temple.

He wavered and weaves, falling back into the ropes as Angela made ring side.

With all of her breath Angela yelled:

 

 “Tom, get up baby, get up, please!”

 

For a brief moment, Tom’s eyes registered and met hers.

Realization hit, the look that was once anguish turned to the tough look of determination. Tom flung his wiry form from ringside, firing his fists in a flurry that would challenge the most seasoned of boxers.

Throwing blow after lethal blow, his opponent became rummy, stumbling to his knees. The ref stepped forward between    

 

Reviews

[Norma M Sutton]

That's a tricky one. Had to know him pretty well to know whether it would help or harm.

[Tracie Skarbo]

Oh my god...I can't wait to see what is going to happen next. There is nothing like a woman to get the passion boiling in the veins of a man. :)

Tigra

[emmajoy]

'Tom flung his wiry form from ringside, firing his fists in a flurry that would challenge the most seasoned of boxers. - the use of a few 'fs' here... f = fighter?

Going to read on... thank you, thank you!

[Louise Whalen]

This opens up a whole story. I can see this working better more as prose than poetry. I want to know more!!! Why is Tom fighting? Why is Angela upset? Are they lovers? And it just suddenly ends.

I say workshop this and repost.

What I liked is how it grabbed me, the reader and the level of intensity in the piece. I would just like to see more expansion on this piece.