Interesting lay out as the 'prologue' makes us stop and consider the pause then you launch into the cascade of word play which seems to represent life's passage and the only way to pause is to rewind which cannot be done. So accept where you are I guess is the message.
I like the different style with the flow of words. Amazing writing, a piece worth reading to enjoy the pause, a sudden bang and to stay where you get to.
I'm just trying to get my grove, had to pause and read this piece as I stroll down the read requests, not bad great job, love how it comes together. Plan to read some more of your work.
A billion ways to connect the dots in the words. Will do more analysis. Thank you for this poem Silente
Upon further reading realized this was a coming of age kind of poem. Amazing work. I like the verse expressing the loss of a halo and horns for lotto gold. It really conveys the expense of childhood for wealth.
I like the fall of the words. I know your style, when I see a "pause" I know whats coming. I had to re-read this to make sure I understood it all. As always, it flows easily.
"slack-jawed"! that's brilliant dear Silente! You know why? because it simply sums up what a "blank, space, pause..." is really about, those spaces we leave though our poems to let the reader breathe through them but still in these "blanks" the unspoken words from us are there to be felt, I don't know but what I thought of Your expression "slack-jawed" is the blank loose space that hides an endless talking, and through these blanks we reflect a memory, a picture a vision... the will to start again after the rest, if we think of our life as a poem, each verse reflects a chapter of it, each space reflect the stuck pause and waiting stage, then comes the next verse (chapter) and here we GO. I really love this from You, I specially loved how You started it and took our minds with Yours down through Your lines. wonderful write my friend.
LIIIIIIIIIIIGHHTTTTTTTTTTTTTT....
I am enjoying myself, most awesome of awesome butterfly-fri.. read moreLIIIIIIIIIIIGHHTTTTTTTTTTTTTT....
I am enjoying myself, most awesome of awesome butterfly-friends...!
How are you not a professional critic...?
You come up with more from things than the writer EVER could have intended...
But in the craziest, best ways...
Thanks so much!
Pleasure seeing you!!!!!!
You.
Are.
Dah.
Best.
5 Years Ago
professional critic? that would be a real DISASTER LOL I mean I would turn poetry and Her rules upsi.. read moreprofessional critic? that would be a real DISASTER LOL I mean I would turn poetry and Her rules upside down ;) You are kind dear Silente, please do keep enjoying it here :)
5 Years Ago
You would OWN ALL POETRY!!!! Muahahaha
You as well, Light
Thanks again
Reads like a metaphor the formation of the universe, the pause , the Big Bang and then every thing falling into place.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
If only life were so randomly wonderful...
Oh wait...
It is...
Random, at least.. read moreIf only life were so randomly wonderful...
Oh wait...
It is...
Random, at least...
Thanks, Andrew
Enjoyed this, a howl like explosion put into a careful structure, so a write to enjoy !
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thanks so much, L.P
A howl indeed, my friend, explosive in its sound...
Enjoyed the ta.. read moreThanks so much, L.P
A howl indeed, my friend, explosive in its sound...
Enjoyed the take on this!
How important is that pause button in life.
Sadly it just doesn't seem to be there at that pivotal time when you put your foot in it.
A rewind button. What a godsend that would be, especially the next day when you hear the words. Do you know what you said last night.
Rofl...
I had to read it twice, but the second time what you said clicked...
Not only.. read moreRofl...
I had to read it twice, but the second time what you said clicked...
Not only does it click...
Mate, you and i...
You are closest so far on how this one was written...
We got some jives going here...
"last night"
Obviously we have made some of the same mistakes in life...
hahahaha
5 Years Ago
Why do people remember what you said last night when I don't even remember last night happening.
5 Years Ago
Mate... Why do gotta hear about all this stuff we do not remember when life is happening right now?!.. read moreMate... Why do gotta hear about all this stuff we do not remember when life is happening right now?!?!
Oh...
I broke your lamp last night?
Well...
Maybe try a less PRECARIOUS edge to place your precious lamp, then, EH?!?!
Lolol
I think you wrote this to be a rap sort of thing...not sure. We really can't pause life. The calendar pages continue to turn and we must move on with them. To see a blank space where your image used to be....hmmm....a stolen soul perhaps? Not sure, but certainly a unique write. Lydi**
It wasssss a full rap, incredible eye, my friend...!
Just an excerpt from a much bigger piece.. read moreIt wasssss a full rap, incredible eye, my friend...!
Just an excerpt from a much bigger piece...
So...
It can mean w/e you want it to!
Thanks so much for the unique insight...
A stolen soul...
Hmm...
5 Years Ago
I liked it....
5 Years Ago
I like anything to do with free expression of thought and collaborative debate on them...
So.. read moreI like anything to do with free expression of thought and collaborative debate on them...
So...
Ditto
haha