Deconstructing My Inefficiency

Deconstructing my inefficiency I find deficiency

A fish in the sea

Unable to see past inner dirty beeps that I speak when wrapped in fleet clouds

A sun god with a hound

I'm crass, I'll blast with mashes of fast acts

I'm a spaz, I'll cast the branch back so it smacks you as you pass

I rap with white eyes so black ice can fight the sunlight and become shadowed night

tight-lipped in fright, they speak with spite in spite of the signs saying do or die

So I did and didn't die, but that was a lie cause I'm dry now

a husk of slime with flies now...

I sense rejection like deaths inception found me hovering before an entity

who laid me humble before an enemy, who said to me rise today and take this remedy

be a servant and prosperity will find you like prophecy

You will have ten dreams of fallacy

I see Alice in steep allowance making cups outta gallons of jealousy

the policy is to gallop free of abhorrent heaps of troubled seas

It's said to be fumbles with creeps in the mud hole of greed

but gallantly I sense unburdened crumbles...

Much like having tea and crumpets in kevlar jeans    

Reviews

[Zoya]

It's always the same, but actually very different every time. Lol. I hope you get what I mean. If you don't, then fair enough...After all I don't usually get what YOU mean. Hell, this was funny! Especially these lines:
'I'm a spaz, I'll cast the branch back so it smacks you as you pass'
'a husk of slime with flies now...'
And the last one, of course, was the show stopper. Mind boggingly written!

[apennylate]

I gotcha, heh... I think, and a hoped thought, I guess is as good as a known one... Thank you, Zoe

[Stephanie M]

You are an amazing poet. Interesting use of imagery. I can relate to this one. Sometimes I have a difficult time seeing past my own flaws. Sometimes I feel inadequate. Nicely written! You sure have a way with words.

[apennylate]

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while.

[Richard McLin]

Damn that's sharp. Your word play and poetry rhythm never fails to impress. This is a great piece.
-Richard

[apennylate]

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while. :p

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

I love the last line here!
Evolving into something unique/

[apennylate]

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while.

[Cecelia A. Green]

"the signs saying do or die"

wow.

[apennylate]

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while. My favorite part, as well. Cecelia

[Ana B.]

ha, love the play of words, dear author :) you never know what you may find when deconstructing your inefficiency :D masterfully done, as always, wish i'd reach such levels...

[apennylate]

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while. The only level you will not reach... Is the level you never attempt to find!

[Nora]

I won't lie , i didn't understand many of the vocabularies ( i am not native English speaker ), but what i understand is amazing and deep

[apennylate]

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while. That is okey! Understanding is cheap, anyways :p

[Gaurav]

It's an awesome piece resonating the words of those classic poets where rhythm and synchronization fitted the heart. thanks for sharing

[apennylate]

Thank you for the kind words, Gaurav

[Mirror]

"be a servant and prosperity will find you like prophecy"
This line showed me that you have a moral lurking somewhere in you...that gives me inspiration. good write dear

[apennylate]

We all need some moral structure lurking deep within us.... I am glad to have inspired and shown you a kernel of myself... Thank you very much, Mirror