You two have made me so smile :) truth I can feel Yumna's mind jumping here and there taking the lead for Your own mind to jump after, and I'm pretty sure You liked so much the freedom it gave You, I feel real joy through the whole piece, where nothing else matter, the whole world doesn't matter!
Thank You both!
really great poem to read out loud ..the beat is persistent but not pressed .. this is one of the reasons I love visiting at the Cafe ..so many things to hear ..so many ways things are told ..reminds me of the beat generation .. its irreverent, challenging,absurd and thought provoking ..so glad I stopped to read
E.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you, Ein, I am glad you did as well, as I value your input... Always nice to see
I'm not worthy to read your awesome work dude. NOT WORTHY!!!!! (bows and throws horns in salute)
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
You def' are, lol, thanks for the (always unique) take on things, Raven.... But remember... All who .. read moreYou def' are, lol, thanks for the (always unique) take on things, Raven.... But remember... All who follow the mighty metal path... Are worthy of reading all things, lolol
7 Years Ago
Spoken like a true God of Metal, my friend. (throws horns) :D
A wonderful piece, I really love the way she edits. She did another piece of mine too.. this is a great piece too, wonderful job by both! You 2 are very talented :)
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thanks, Kesha, and I think Yumna is very talented as well
I must be gettin' smah-tah...I followed this all the way through catching every little reference to actual locusts! (Christ, I hope that's what it's about. If it's not and it's all symbolism of some high and lofty ideal, dont' tell me. Let me wallow in this little ego pit I just dug for myself.)
"bound to sound" "air hounds" "cracked at the seams" "paper bling" "drilled into my head"
Locusts are all these and more.
And all scattered artfully and skillfully throughout like a boss...
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Lol, I shall not rip from you the grand arcs you have made in the sky with your take on this.... (Do.. read moreLol, I shall not rip from you the grand arcs you have made in the sky with your take on this.... (Do locusts fly?) Thank you, and I laughed at this... Aha... Really, thanks
Nice job of doing a somewhat "rap" sound with your imaginative cumulative rhyming, yet not "rap" at all, in terms of the gentle telling of details & feelings. I don't follow this stream of consciousness like a story, but I very much appreciate the obvious time spent crafting this flow of observations into playful expressions.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Aye, Barley, tis just a stream of rhyming I did for practice, Yumna did a wonderful job of making it.. read moreAye, Barley, tis just a stream of rhyming I did for practice, Yumna did a wonderful job of making it a playful and exciting reading experience. Thank you
Such an engaging, adventurous poem Silente and Yumna!
I was really hooked into it due to the rap/rhyme :D
It had a sense of reality into it due to anxious parts in it and emotions as well!
Well done guys, keep it up!!!