Cotton Anxious (Edited by YumnaKay)

Cotton Anxious (Edited by YumnaKay)

A Poem by apennylate
"

Focusing on locusts...

"
 I focus on
locust
hocus pocus
corpus 'n' oak'us ​- ​cloak'us
forest broken 'n' soakin'
evokin' mopin' ​; ​a rope'n elope
and slope'n​...​

​I'​m open like robes
​...​hose me down​...​
​...​hopes crown​...​
I'​m bound to sound
round my pound​,​
out of drowns​,​
so air hounds​ --​ abound​.​
I'​m loud in a cloud​,​
the ground amounts​
 to an ounce of mounds
-- and now​ --​

​I'​m bound
a bat outta hell
as​ -​ ​I​ fall and
sell myself short​ ...​ at bat​.​

​I'​m a rat​ ~​ so phat
I'​m cracked at the seams
​...​it se​e​ms​...​
my means are weaned
and lean, now sleep​
and dream​​
of eating ​​reams​.​

​T​he paper bling
that screams
as the mean king 
reaps ​-​ with ease​.​

​I'​m asleep and cream-filled​ 
​a donut​ ​still​ -​- 
​I​ will be​ --​- still​.​

​M​y will is filled
with obnoxious krill​,​
that kill and kill​...​
like the pill​​
​...oxycotin​...​
N​oxious​;​ ​I'​m
cotton anxious
forgotten angst, christ​;​

it​'​s drilled into my head
a bill of dead bits
lead to lead a message, Zed 
- in a bottle -
when will the mess begin​?​
I'​m throttled, a model citizen
and ​--- ​it ends​,​

no rest for trimmed
and
~ gobbled friends​.​

© 2017 apennylate


Author's Note

apennylate
Another superb edit by YumnaKay... If you have not already, check out her writing, it is talented work...! Thanks, and have a good one, everyone!

My Review

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Featured Review

You two have made me so smile :) truth I can feel Yumna's mind jumping here and there taking the lead for Your own mind to jump after, and I'm pretty sure You liked so much the freedom it gave You, I feel real joy through the whole piece, where nothing else matter, the whole world doesn't matter!
Thank You both!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

apennylate

7 Years Ago

Thank you, Light, glad to share a smile



Reviews

really great poem to read out loud ..the beat is persistent but not pressed .. this is one of the reasons I love visiting at the Cafe ..so many things to hear ..so many ways things are told ..reminds me of the beat generation .. its irreverent, challenging,absurd and thought provoking ..so glad I stopped to read
E.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

apennylate

7 Years Ago

Thank you, Ein, I am glad you did as well, as I value your input... Always nice to see
I'm not worthy to read your awesome work dude. NOT WORTHY!!!!! (bows and throws horns in salute)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

apennylate

7 Years Ago

You def' are, lol, thanks for the (always unique) take on things, Raven.... But remember... All who .. read more
Raven Moonchild

7 Years Ago

Spoken like a true God of Metal, my friend. (throws horns) :D
This poem was really interesting, i love just seeing what words can do!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

apennylate

7 Years Ago

Aye, me as well, Ellie, that is what this was... Thanks so much
I believe this was a very painful piece, but it touched me, it was very moving and beautiful.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

apennylate

7 Years Ago

Thank you, Amber
A wonderful piece, I really love the way she edits. She did another piece of mine too.. this is a great piece too, wonderful job by both! You 2 are very talented :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

apennylate

7 Years Ago

Thanks, Kesha, and I think Yumna is very talented as well
Kesha

7 Years Ago

You're welcome
Very imaginative, and so engaging! This is a great poem. The last lines are my favourite, for some reason.

Love,
Vasilees.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

apennylate

7 Years Ago

Thank you, Val, and mine as well...
Some trippy, down the rabbit hole stuff right here. Great work!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

apennylate

7 Years Ago

Thank you, Flame
I must be gettin' smah-tah...I followed this all the way through catching every little reference to actual locusts! (Christ, I hope that's what it's about. If it's not and it's all symbolism of some high and lofty ideal, dont' tell me. Let me wallow in this little ego pit I just dug for myself.)

"bound to sound" "air hounds" "cracked at the seams" "paper bling" "drilled into my head"
Locusts are all these and more.

And all scattered artfully and skillfully throughout like a boss...



Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

apennylate

7 Years Ago

Lol, I shall not rip from you the grand arcs you have made in the sky with your take on this.... (Do.. read more
Nice job of doing a somewhat "rap" sound with your imaginative cumulative rhyming, yet not "rap" at all, in terms of the gentle telling of details & feelings. I don't follow this stream of consciousness like a story, but I very much appreciate the obvious time spent crafting this flow of observations into playful expressions.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

apennylate

7 Years Ago

Aye, Barley, tis just a stream of rhyming I did for practice, Yumna did a wonderful job of making it.. read more
Such an engaging, adventurous poem Silente and Yumna!
I was really hooked into it due to the rap/rhyme :D
It had a sense of reality into it due to anxious parts in it and emotions as well!
Well done guys, keep it up!!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

apennylate

7 Years Ago

Thank you, Mr. Writer
Mr.Writer

7 Years Ago

No problem :)

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1352 Views
34 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on July 28, 2017
Last Updated on July 28, 2017
Tags: Poetry, Collaboration

Author

apennylate
apennylate

Denver, CO



About
No hero here, only fear of zero near... more..

Writing
"Happy" "Happy"

A Poem by apennylate



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