Cotton Anxious (Edited by YumnaKay)

Focusing on locusts...

 I focus on

locust

hocus pocus

corpus 'n' oak'us ​- ​cloak'us

forest broken 'n' soakin'

evokin' mopin' ​; ​a rope'n elope

and slope'n​...​

​I'​m open like robes

​...​hose me down​...​

​...​hopes crown​...​

​

I'​m bound to sound

round my pound​,​

out of drowns​,​

so air hounds​ --​ abound​.​

​

I'​m loud in a cloud​,​

the ground amounts​

 to an ounce of mounds

-- and now​ --​

​I'​m bound

a bat outta hell

as​ -​ ​I​ fall and

sell myself short​ ...​ at bat​.​

​I'​m a rat​ ~​ so phat

​

I'​m cracked at the seams

​...​it se​e​ms​...​

my means are weaned

and lean, now sleep​

and dream​​

of eating ​​reams​.​

​T​he paper bling

that screams

as the mean king 

reaps ​-​ with ease​.​

​I'​m asleep and cream-filled​ 

​a donut​ ​still​ -​- 

​I​ will be​ --​- still​.​

​M​y will is filled

with obnoxious krill​,​

that kill and kill​...​

like the pill​​

​...oxycotin​...​

​

N​oxious​;​ ​I'​m

cotton anxious

forgotten angst, christ​;​

it​'​s drilled into my head

a bill of dead bits

lead to lead a message, Zed 

- in a bottle -

when will the mess begin​?​

​

I'​m throttled, a model citizen

and ​--- ​it ends​,​

no rest for trimmed

and

~ gobbled friends​.​

Author's Note

Another superb edit by YumnaKay... If you have not already, check out her writing, it is talented work...! Thanks, and have a good one, everyone!

Reviews

[lightsong]

You two have made me so smile :) truth I can feel Yumna's mind jumping here and there taking the lead for Your own mind to jump after, and I'm pretty sure You liked so much the freedom it gave You, I feel real joy through the whole piece, where nothing else matter, the whole world doesn't matter!
Thank You both!

[apennylate]

Thank you, Light, glad to share a smile

[FlatLineBeauty]

You two have made something pretty awesome. I really enjoyed this. xo FLB

[apennylate]

Appreciated, FLP... She has super editing skillz

[Anthony (aka Mr.e)]

Mesmerizing rhythm and flow Silente (and YumnaKay), truly captivating...

[apennylate]

Thanks, Mr. E

[Jiya]

It's amazing!
You two make a great pair

[apennylate]

Thanks! She is a superb editor

[MaximumFlight]

Holy crap, this really sucked me in. Great job :)

[apennylate]

Glad, and thank you, Flight

[Jay-LH]

Very well written, love it

[apennylate]

Thank you, Jay

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I must say the oxycotin part was the most fun part to read as well as edit ;)
Though you wrote it as rap, it still reads dark to me, an almost gloomy touch.
This being said, I enjoyed editing it and making my frozen brain cells run a mile on how to do it lol so thank you for that, D! (:

P.S am I allowed to blush over all the exaggerated praises by you and all the reviewers here? lol jk thanks for that too (:

[apennylate]

Thank you, Yumna, glad you enjoyed editing/reading this one... Never feel bad about blushing from praise... Tis the best time to blush...!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

hahaha lol blushing is really not my thing :p too girly lol ;p
you're welcome, D! A pleasure always (:

[Jackie]

Quite an interesting read. I enjoyed the rhyming and schemes. And she does indeed sound pretty talanted. I'll most certainly go over and check her out as well.. Also please check me out too.. Thanks

[apennylate]

Of course, and thank you, been beyond busy lately, and under a bit of new-found stress... But if you send me a message i can absolutely get to it. I try to remember otherwise, but life is crazy!

[Zoya]

Phat indeed, hehe. Loved the flow.
'​M​y will is filled
with obnoxious krill​,​
that kill and kill​...​
like the pill​​
​...oxycotin​...​' ??? XD. Gosh, this was so fun to read. Truly enjoyed it!
​

[apennylate]

Truly glad, Zoe, thanks

[Zoya]

My pleasure!

[Mitch]

This one was a cool read. Great editing work by Y umnaKay.

[apennylate]

I agree, thank you, Mitch

[Wajiha Nayeem]

beautiful it is...
great one.
keep it up both of uh!

[apennylate]

Thanks, Waj

[Wajiha Nayeem]

pleasure....