King of Flawed Reason

Festering molestation of achin'...

I'm separated by my own demons, my own feelings leapt alive with meanin'...

I'm crowning myself king of flawed reason...

For the reason I stand alone most the time...

Is I'm not feeling very grown at the time...

Like a seed with no warmth, a man outta lines, my rhymes are not good enough...

I stow it under and keep grumblin', actin' tough, mining away and wondering if it will ever be true...

Will I follow a shining path or break hollow and used...

Blasted by traces of iced gas, leaving me numb and bruised...

A rats uncle I'm stuffy and masked, you are sultry and out of grasp...

So I gasp and raise myself above the bar, I raise my own bar...

The imperfection flawed is tar that stops and harms...

Will I garner enough force to engulf mars...

Or will I fall hard and overwhelmed...

Just scars...

Author's Note

Sometimes depression is crippling... Hope everyone reading this remembers they are not alone in the fight... Keep living day-to-day, and know you are valued... Have a good one

Reviews

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

This is so abstract, and so beautiful, just as always. I specially love the lines,

"The imperfection flawed is tar that stops and harms...
Will I garner enough force to engulf mars...
Or will I fall hard and overwhelmed...
Just scars..."

Just so beautiful.

Love,
Vasilees

[apennylate]

As always, a beautiful review, Vasilees, thank you, and am glad you enjoyed

[rowan.taylorrr]

i really like this piece, but i think without the triple dots it would flow better. I love the point if this piece and the way that it is worded. well done

[apennylate]

Thanks so much, XoXo, I also think that as well... Like I told Ethan, I was aware of the dots ruining the flow on this, but I just felt it was right, maybe a last encore to my triple dot style, heh. Thanks again, for the honest and fantastic criticism, it helps

[Anthony (aka Mr.e)]

I feel you on this one silente, stay strong...And your rhymes are as solid as always, keep writing.

[apennylate]

Thank you so much, Mr. e.... Your words of encouragement and understanding are appreciated

[Mr.Writer]

An engrossing, beautiful and emotional poem Silente....
There was beauty in your words and I really could visualize these emotions portrayed in this!
Well done Silente, I really hope you have a good day and stay happy :)

[apennylate]

Thank you, Mr. Fantastic, and I hope the same for you... Glad you could actually see the pain within the words

[Mr.Writer]

No problem Silente! :)

[Tony Jordan]

Better to reign in the hell of flawed reason than to serve in the kingdom of shallowness and pettiness.
You spoke true here my friend. Kudos !!

[apennylate]

^^Could not agree more, TJ, and wow... I liked that, hah... You speak better truth, it looks fancier... Hah

[wordman]

flawed and scared,aren`t we all

[Tony Jordan]

so true my friend. Well said...

[apennylate]

That we are, TJ and Wordman, one can only hope the flaws and fear do not drown them...

[Poetic Beauty]

Love the notes in this section. Many lives are lost each year from depression. It doesn't discriminate in age race religion color or social standing.

Your emotions come through clearly. The self doubt and at times loathing is clear.

[apennylate]

Thank you very much, Beauty, it means a lot to hear, and it really does steal lives...

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

So true my friend, sadness can mire the soul in "tar that stops and harms"..I am often "stuck" in the mire myself..still, though you are "achin'" your words, form, rhythm and flow excel and inspire...and you remain so far "above the bar"...you are still on your shining path. Speak friend, and I listen- always!!

[apennylate]

You humble me, Annette, and I hope that I can continue to help others feel more secure in the awful angst of sadness... A shining path, indeed is tried

[Tabby Mac]

You KILLED THIS Silente!! It is AWESOME SAUCE!! The darkness can be a heavy, painful place! I thought you said you couldn't express yourself like me?! Well... This piece says otherwise!!
The only way we can write like this is to have known it up and personal...now you know my secrets. A hug to you for every down moment you have or ever will.
To rest in ourselves as we are is a fight worth fighting everyday. WELL DONE!! You are perfect to me!
Tabby

[apennylate]

Awesome sauce...! You taking my words right from meh mouth, hah... You are right... I guess I am learning to change for the better....
*Hugs back*
You are a sweetheart, Tabby, and I hope you know your perfection everyday is as radiant as... Something really reallllly radiant, haha

[Ruth]

This really has such impact, I am no stranger to depression and felt every line here. Sometimes all one can do is indeed gasp and try to grasp. The downfalls and landmines here are portrayed with striking metaphor yet a warrior energy pulses through...have a good day too hon and thanks for reminding the reader that they are not alone :)

[apennylate]

A warrior energy pulses through... Gosh, Silver... Your words are incredible inspiring, and thank you... You have a splendid time as well, and no problem, no one is TRULY alone...

[Sandipta$]

Couldn't understand...then i reread..... Uff ur words in ur sentences... Lyk rats uncle 😳 deep thought... Huh

[apennylate]

I do enjoy being a rats uncle, haha, thank you very much, Sand

[Sandipta$]

U wlcm Mr. SIL