King of Flawed Reason

Festering molestation of achin'...

I'm separated by my own demons, my own feelings leapt alive with meanin'...

I'm crowning myself king of flawed reason...

For the reason I stand alone most the time...

Is I'm not feeling very grown at the time...

Like a seed with no warmth, a man outta lines, my rhymes are not good enough...

I stow it under and keep grumblin', actin' tough, mining away and wondering if it will ever be true...

Will I follow a shining path or break hollow and used...

Blasted by traces of iced gas, leaving me numb and bruised...

A rats uncle I'm stuffy and masked, you are sultry and out of grasp...

So I gasp and raise myself above the bar, I raise my own bar...

The imperfection flawed is tar that stops and harms...

Will I garner enough force to engulf mars...

Or will I fall hard and overwhelmed...

Just scars...

Author's Note

Sometimes depression is crippling... Hope everyone reading this remembers they are not alone in the fight... Keep living day-to-day, and know you are valued... Have a good one

Reviews

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

This is so abstract, and so beautiful, just as always. I specially love the lines,

"The imperfection flawed is tar that stops and harms...
Will I garner enough force to engulf mars...
Or will I fall hard and overwhelmed...
Just scars..."

Just so beautiful.

Love,
Vasilees

[apennylate]

As always, a beautiful review, Vasilees, thank you, and am glad you enjoyed

[Erudite]

Damn. I wish I could write like this. It's so abstract. I used to be great at writing abstractly like this, but for years now I feel like my writings are too concrete.... But I digest.

I like this poem a lot. It oozes talent. You're past the point of "trying to sound like a great writer". You're just a great writer now lol. Certain parts to me seem like schizophrenia, but the whole thing really feels like a glimpse inside mental illness. Even if it's just depression, there's this deep feeling like 'no one else thinks like me, guess that makes me wrong'

Good poem, ten points and a high five :)

[apennylate]

I loved this review for some reason, friend, thanks so much... Past the point of trying to be good, just good... Hah... Can not say I dislike that, and high-five back!

[Coyote Poetry]

Very nice use of words and thoughts.
"Will I garner enough force to engulf mars...
Or will I fall hard and overwhelmed...
Just scars..."
I liked the ending above and I believe. We decide our fate. Good or bad. We must find places of contentment or accept less? Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[apennylate]

Thank you, Coyote, it means much to hear from you, and am glad you liked it

[Coyote Poetry]

I did like and you are welcome.

[Zoya]

Aha, finally...I can't believe I finally get your poetry!! xD this was a real solid poem based on a solid theme itself. Something that most of us have been through...almost everyone can relate. It's not about how much pain a person has endured, but about how well he fights back against it. Brave are the ones who have the courage to get up after they fall. The last three lines are very impactful. Well done!

[apennylate]

Haha, I tried, Zoe, I gave it a genuine effort... To make things a WEE bit nicer on the readers poor eyes... Thank you, and glad it made an impact

[Zoya]

Haha, kind of you. It was my pleasure.

[Lotus Flower]

I'll start with the title, it really drew me in. ALso the flow was very nice. The words seemed to be very longing and wistful I suppose, nice job Cherie

[apennylate]

Thank you, Lotus, I wish I knew a pretty second language like you, but I shall have to suffice with regular ol' English... *Sigh...*

[Lotus Flower]

Oh, you do wonderful with the language you have!

[Wajiha Nayeem]

beautifully penned...i loved the poem alot.
keep it up and keep writing...

[apennylate]

Thanks, Waj, it means a lot to hear, and I shall certainly try

[Wajiha Nayeem]

haha waj...thts cute.

[Zugzwang]

Depression is a quiet demon, but the blackest of them all. I see here that it's given you the impetus to make art and I think that's one of the greatest things you can do. Bravo.

[apennylate]

It certainly has, just as it has equal parts of crippling... Starkest, blackest critter of 'em all, for sure... Thanks, Zugz, I appreciate hearing it

[Avinash]

It is not easy to caste away the darkness which has made home in your heart for so long. But attempts to express them is a step in right direction. Wonderful piece of writing my friend.

[apennylate]

I appreciate those words, Avinash... Being able to talk about things IS indeed the first step in healing, thank you, and glad you enjoyed

[B-poet]

There's a profound eloquence you've shown here as it relates to a frequently common emotional and mental state that we all shouldn't face alone. Loved the overall morale and theme along with your word play. Great work Silente. An engaging and intriguing read. :)

[apennylate]

Your review is profoundly eloquent, B-Poet, and brings a huge smile to my face... Thanks so much

[Surya]

No one is alone in fight, just a grasp of humour and sense makes a day....
Every now and then, i guess, we all feel flawed and scared...I enjoyed it...:)

[apennylate]

Thank you, Surya, and aye, that we do... And no we are not, everyone should have someone

[rowan.taylorrr]

i really like this piece, but i think without the triple dots it would flow better. I love the point if this piece and the way that it is worded. well done

[apennylate]

Thanks so much, XoXo, I also think that as well... Like I told Ethan, I was aware of the dots ruining the flow on this, but I just felt it was right, maybe a last encore to my triple dot style, heh. Thanks again, for the honest and fantastic criticism, it helps