Sledgehammer Disaster (Title by YumnaKay)

A piece I had edited by YumnaKay...

A tapestry forever falling 

to the sound of paper gravity.

 

I was never more than rabies 

​... ​

lined with sanity.

My clouded rubies secluded me 

from daily activity.

Riddled with active limited abilities,

my simplicity is inherently a durability,

because -- when breath deserts me, 

I'm left; wretched 'n' berzerking,

earning the gurneys 

that burn me with disin

​f​

e

​c​

tant.

When slurping at the chemicals 

like weapons that be jerkin'...

My tensions etched 'n' blessed 

... in dirt lessons.

I'm the essence 

of murkin' denizens of burden.

I'm earnin' nothin' 

as beat-back humbling turns ~ worse.

Cursed and reverting to 

sledgehammer disaster a last hit and ---

I'm hammered ~ of 

​

worth.

Author's Note

Like the title and description say... YumnaKay is the sole editor of this one... I just wrote it all in a big block of words... Might be seeing more of her editing skillz on my work soon... Enjoy!

Reviews

[A little flame]

This is a beautiful piece, so full of emotions and you sumed it up perfectly with that last line. "hammered~of worth." I have felt this many times but, I was affected in a less aggresive manner, I think. More like, slowly being drained or cracking little by little under pressure until everything inside breaks free. This is why I love reading people's work. I love hearing how other people experience emotion, because we're all affected differently. Thank you for sharing your heart with us!

[apennylate]

No problem, Flame, thank you for so kindly relating... It fills my heart with warmth to know you took something from this

[Richard McLin]

I was never more than rabies lined with sanity. That is a fantastic line in a great piece of poetry. Nicely done.
-Richard

[Zoya]

Ah, such an imposing and breathtaking ending! Flowed beautifully. Loved it!

[apennylate]

Thanks, Zoe, glad another liked this one... Always love seeing you, a breath of fresh air, as it were, heh... Always reminding me to make more sense! Haha

[Zoya]

A breath of fresh air? Lol. You're funny xD. And of course, have some mercy on us readers...your poetry is far above our level...hehe...anyway, jokes apart, it's the abstractness of your poetry that appeals more to the readers...so, keep writing the way you do!

[apennylate]

I always do, friend, I always do, haha... A very welcome encouragement, and the same to you, Zoe

[Zoya]

Yep, I will too. Much thanks!

[Jay-LH]

very well written. well done

[apennylate]

Thank you, Jay

[The Iron Horseman]

It's strange - I read a bunch of the other reviews here and I did not get any of the emotions others did from this! Maybe I'm just odd! But this hit me as you simply rapping and riffing on the more depressing elements of your life. Don't take that as criticism, it's not - this poem is both strong and vibrant, but I see you on a stage with a mike, rapping your heart out with an overload of pain and aggression. Did I get it all wrong?

[apennylate]

Ikr...! I never understand the readers... I just wrote this as a freestyle to a beat... A literal freestyle rap, so... You are spot-on, lol... Glad to know some people get the raw musical feel to it... Seems my ability as a poet outshines my musical ability... Sadly...

[Brett Hernan]

What do you expect... writing about disaster?
Not everything you write will always work out how you like. That's just as normal as people falling asleep.
It has a rhythm to it unlike anything else I've read of yours.
I was thinking that it has a sledge hammer like quality to it's pieces.
Dour and bleak in attitude, opinion, outlook and introspection.
I can see how people can relate.

May I suggest that perhaps, if you're not happy with your production in the quest for fulfillment of even greater depths of expression, Silente, you just require a slight change in instruments,
(if I may be so bold?)

(Personally, I've always wondered what chainsaw trying to cut through corrugated iron sheeting might sound like?
It's perhaps not going to be music.
Not without bulk post production, anyway.)

You can make anything in post production.

[apennylate]

What the heck... How did I miss this...
Thanks so much for this, and you are right...
Something I am coming to find...
Gotta "make" up the story with the sounds, just as much as you have to make the sounds...
Personally... I think that would give me a large headache... Haha

[The Iron Horseman]

Lol! Yep, stories are important, but please don't lose those great, wacky images.

[apennylate]

Heh, well... Difficult to juggle the expectations of the world with personal direction, they do not seem to want to jive, hah

[Stephanie M]

Your a talented poet. Well penned.

[apennylate]

Thank you, Stephanie, means much to hear...

[Krutika]

That last line..
'I am hammered of worth'
Poignant to the core!
Nice editing @yumnaKay✌️

[apennylate]

Thanks, Krutika... Stellar editing, right?

[CMC]

This work is one that made me think a lot about its meaning, and it's always a good surprise to find work like this. I think it's about somebody who can't see past their current lifestyle, they get humbled / knocked off of their pedestal in life, and they have to work hard until they hammer out their old flaws and are of worth. That's what I got from it: this was an exceptional piece of work.

[apennylate]

You take grand meaning from my simple words, and rightfully... You place them in a star system of different worth... I could not thank you enough for this wonderful insight... Most of the time I am clueless as to what my writings mean... That is until I see the assortment of readers with varying opinions on it and such... Really is eye-opening in many cases... Thank you, Chris

[Decidious wind]

While reading this i was singing it. The rhythym is very mellodyious.

[apennylate]

YAY...! That is what I wanna hear... Thanks very much...