Powerful and worthwhile words my friend.
"Divine blind and now I free-grab rewind so the bee-line can define bright lies...
Behind enemy lines my wine is bitter like winter on the back of grime..."
The above lines were my favorite. The words hones and direct. My kind of poetry. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote
"I am a sin of worthlessness in the lurch of learning magic whips..." That describes me since I've joined this site and learning to not just read poetry but really understand it. I have the proper appreciation for uniquely descriptive phrases, I try to use them myself. "Behind enemy lines my wine is bitter like winter on the back of grime..." beautiful imagery. All your stuff has vivid imagery and I always recognize and acknowledge that. This, like your others, reads smoothly, rhyming in odd but not wrong places...hey! It's poetry! I get it...(see? I'm learning). Good read. See you in class tomorrow?
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Wow, Carol... Thank you so very much for this insight... Hey, you get it, haha... Glad to be such a .. read moreWow, Carol... Thank you so very much for this insight... Hey, you get it, haha... Glad to be such a help with poetry... I am ALWAYS ready for rhyming class...!
gosh Doolin your poems are just crazy good !!! there was just so much going on here it was exciting !! i loved it even though the brain dead me has no idea of the theme behind this i just loved the words and rhymes !!!
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
D'aw, thank you, Pie... You are absolutely not brain-dead... You probably have a clearer vision of w.. read moreD'aw, thank you, Pie... You are absolutely not brain-dead... You probably have a clearer vision of what this means than I do...! Abstract is abstract, does not mean you lack intelligence for not being able to write a thesis on it, aha...
This is a fun bit of doggerel and nonsense, full of assonance and internal rhymes every few syllables. It could do with a couple of more line breaks here and there so ease up on the breaths taken in between thoughts, which at times could go a couple of long lines at a time, and faith! not many people can hold their breath for that long! But that doesn't hurt the fact that this is amazingly written, and the nonsensical word/sound play simply elicits a giggle. Fantastic!
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you, Emi... Means a lot to hear... I usually break things up more, was feeling some longer lin.. read moreThank you, Emi... Means a lot to hear... I usually break things up more, was feeling some longer lines this time... But I absolutely know what you mean, and thanks again for the insight...!
Wippeee! I'm on a roller coaster! *cough cough, a poem...* :D
Wow, the fast paced feeling and those special rhymes you've used Silente really have a big impact on the poem!
Well done, keep it up!
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you, Mr. Writer, lol... I would say wow, another roller coaster comment, but I somehow sense a.. read moreThank you, Mr. Writer, lol... I would say wow, another roller coaster comment, but I somehow sense a tinge of sarcasm in this one, hahaha...
Lol, no problem Silente!
I'm not being sarcastic at all tbh :D
7 Years Ago
Lol, then that is a true skill... Your sarcasm is so advanced... You do not even have to try... Haha.. read moreLol, then that is a true skill... Your sarcasm is so advanced... You do not even have to try... Hahaha
Ahhh, this is all mumbo-jumbo...though I really don't get what you write (id be pleased to know the person who actually does understand it) the flow and tempo of the piece binds the reader till the very end...You use some heavy words and sentences, and of course they have a huge impact on the readers.
"A paper-heart in a socket wrapped in a pocket" - loved this line.
Insanely penned! Lol
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Well... You know ONE person, at least... ME...!!! haha... Thanks very much, Zoe... You nearly caught.. read moreWell... You know ONE person, at least... ME...!!! haha... Thanks very much, Zoe... You nearly caught my favorite line, as well... Insanely reviewed....!
7 Years Ago
Oh, so you do get it? xD that's good to know lol. You're welcome!