Before Metaphors

Before the metaphors and metal forged

I sat ignored and lonesome

alone and broken

Groanin' in an ocean of token defeat

rote motions

dead feet

My feats retreat

bleeding dreams and fleeced sheep

eaten lacking wheat

a sheath for elite meat treats and bleep heaps

Driven deeper steeper

hear her cry when satellites fly

I sit outside and mind my own business

but in this bees nest I'm best before checks in reality

I'm a liability

to the masks of sentimental sentinels

brandishing fundamental finality on the mantle of rivalry

Sodden grease and I follow she

all of me

falling free

solemn freeze

I'm free-falling asleep 

Author's Note

Enjoy...!

Reviews

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSh..]

The Poet flexes his muscles and opens empathic
but strong
"Before the metaphors and metal forged I sat ignored and lonesome"
intrigued, i reach for more his lines draws 100 pictures
" alone and broken...
Groanin' in an ocean of token defeat
rote motions
dead-feet
my feats retreat...
Bleeding dreams and fleeced sheep
eaten lacking wheat "
he then set fire to my paranoia something I usually hide and hold dear.
" Driven deeper-steeper
hear her cry when satellites fly...
I sit outside and mind my own business...
But in this bees nest I'm best before checks in reality "
He speaks loudly as he identify's and humanizes his perception
" I'm a liability for the masks of sentimental sentinels brandishing fundamental finality on the mantle of rivalry... "
and then so elegantly he bids goodnight
" all ah-me
and I'm falling-free...
Solemn freeze
and I'm free-falling asleep... "
I love this it is alive I can hear it breathing. Your use of words is energetic and image driven. Really my only trouble is that it wasn't longer. Rock on

Sheer Terror

[apennylate]

A structured and strong review, Terror... Flexed poetic muscles... 100 picture technique... Hidden paranoia on fire... Shared perceptions and energy filled images... My only trouble is that the review was not longer, haha.... Just kidding, seriously, though, thanks so much for this amazing insight... Rock on...

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSheerTerror]

You are welcome

[Teal Moon]

Wow! This is amazing! Love the rhyming!

[apennylate]

Thanks so much, Lainey

[Anna]

I love the rhyming! I didn't understand it but the way you wrote it was so so amazing! Thank you for sharing such a wonderful poem!

[apennylate]

Understanding is overrated... You are so welcome, and thank you more for reading...!

[Sofia]

Woww!! The rhyming is so so so wonderful...even I didn't understand a thing but the way you presented the poem was so awesome.." a sheath for elite-meat-treats and bleep-heaps..." This line sounded like a rap song... you're a way too amazing poet...

[apennylate]

Thanks you, Sofia, we are meant to understand what we need to understand, past that... It is just meat treats for the elite...! Heh

[Zoya]

Gosh...I don't understand a thing. I guess thats, what we call, art! Lol. The way you fidget with words is pretty awesome. Real intricate work...I suppose. I enjoyed it!

[apennylate]

What we call art is absolutely art, hah... The way you review is pretty awesome, I suppose I enjoyed it..! Thanks, Zoe...

[Zoya]

Hehe, but the way you reply to reviews is not pretty awesome, I suppose. Lol. Anyway, you're welcome!

[apennylate]

D'aw, I only attempt to mirror a response formulated from the original review... I am sorry it is not more awesome, haha...

[Zoya]

Kidding ;-p in fact, that's creativity in itself! Lol

[apennylate]

Oh meh gosh... You... you got me, haha... I thought I had offended in some way... I was quite worried... But apparently, your sarcasm is next level dry... Kudos'. Hahaha

[Zoya]

Ohhh Thanks xD!!

[apennylate]

Lol... I... You win this time... I will be back...

[Zoya]

Haha, sure xD

[Wajiha Nayeem]

this is such a pretty poem...all so rhyming and nice to read...i loved it.

[apennylate]

Loved the review, Wajiha... Thanks much...

[Nora]

Oh my god ! It's pretty awesome poem, you are the deepest poet here all your poems are so deep emotionally i love them and the way you choose the deepest meanings 😊

[apennylate]

Well thank you, Nour, that means a lot to hear... I choose carefully...

[Nora]

My pleasure 😊

[Hope]

I read it at least three times Silente:)
You are an amazing poet!
I think you should go ahead and publish your book of poems:)
Great work!

[apennylate]

I read the review three times, Neetha. Thanks so much, and I am not very knowledgeable on publishing, maybe someday...

[Hope]

Always a pleasure:)

[rowan.taylorrr]

you never fail to amaze me with your writing. you're such a good writer, this piece is so different but so good at the same time. please teach me your ways haha

[apennylate]

Haha, XoXo, thank you, and I will gladly teach anyone my ways...! Even if they are not very impressive ways... Lol