Before Metaphors

Before the metaphors and metal forged

I sat ignored and lonesome

alone and broken

Groanin' in an ocean of token defeat

rote motions

dead feet

My feats retreat

bleeding dreams and fleeced sheep

eaten lacking wheat

a sheath for elite meat treats and bleep heaps

Driven deeper steeper

hear her cry when satellites fly

I sit outside and mind my own business

but in this bees nest I'm best before checks in reality

I'm a liability

to the masks of sentimental sentinels

brandishing fundamental finality on the mantle of rivalry

Sodden grease and I follow she

all of me

falling free

solemn freeze

I'm free-falling asleep 

Author's Note

Enjoy...!

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Awesome! Driving rhythm kidnaps you and moves you through the reading of this poem....I hear the bass line and percussive breaks...mad rhyme and imagery- " Bleeding dreams and fleeced sheep. Harsh reality hits-." but in this bees nest I'm best before checks in reality"-Yes! Life changes us for better or worse. It is what it is.....Love this!

[apennylate]

Even more awesome, your kind words, Annette... I can feel the flow of the compliments like breaks of ocean on sand... Yes, yes it does change us... Thanks very much for stopping in, loved it...!

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Good Morning! Love your work so much and would love to hear it spoken or sung ....??? Just sayin'....:)

[apennylate]

Good morning...! I am so happy to hear I have a fan... I DO actually spit most of what I write... But as for hearing it... That would probably require some money sunk into recording equipment... Sorry, but if it makes you feel better... I would love the same...!

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

I am a FAN!!! Keep writing, the world needs to hear your voice. I know, the music business is hard and heartless. I was in it once in the 80s (Whaaaat?!), wrote for Cyndi Lauper, New Kids on the Block & some others. Cut a record and had had a song performed at the Apollo Theatre. But the financial and energy price was too high.A few regrets, but too few to mention....Glad I got out!

[apennylate]

Annette, you have such inspiring words...I do not have a very good voice... But my hope is that maybe someday... Somebody will use my lyrics... It is a small dream, but perhaps... That is amazing, you did all that... Regrets shape us, they do not define us, hah...

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

So true!....."Dream on! dream on! Dream until your dreams... come true!!" As someone once sang!

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

So true!....."Dream on! dream on! Dream until your dreams... come true!!" As someone once sang!

[Surya]

Free fallen asleep....I liked it...whole scenario was good...:)

[apennylate]

I appreciate that, Surya... Thanks very much...!

[Einstein Noodle]

hooked by the title ...i feel for the narrator before abilities satisfied the expressions of life's experiences .. for me there is a bit of turn at these lines:
"Driven deeper-steeper
hear her cry when satellites fly..."
and your "poet" has found inspiration as to when to pick the pen up and write " But in this bees nest I'm best before checks in reality" ... i have to smile ...checks in reality can be so cumbersome eh!? i enjoyed the rap quality and rapid fire words with similar sounding ... and bits of word play ..clever and tweeks my mind ... an eternal optimist i love the free fallin' closing ..and as a napoholic as well ..greatly appreciate fallin' is into sleep ;)))
E.

[apennylate]

Superb eye, Einstein... Could not have summed it up myself... Your take is brilliantly on point... Yes, checks in reality can be a harsh additive to a smooth mix... I friggin' love naps... Thank you very much for reviewing, and stay optimistic...!

[Einstein Noodle]

will do :).....................

[CMC]

Oh my goodness that last line, "...and I'm free-falling asleep," it has impact! The rest was phenomenal as well: a man broken before he met the words he could forge, he was falling in and out of reality, and free falling into tomorrow in his sleep. Master-class work.

[apennylate]

Master-class reviewing, as always, Chris... You stun me with your take, and refresh my intake of thought... Thanks so much... Truly

[CMC]

You're always welcome Silente.

[Priyanshi]

Wow, this is an adorable piece....the first few lines i loved the most...even the whole poem is good....keep it up, Silente.

[apennylate]

Haha, even the whole thing is good, eh? Thanks so much, Priyanshi... I loved your first line, but the whole review was acceptable... Lol, you are funny...

[Priyanshi]

That's true...the whole poem was superb.....its always a pleasure reading your work.

[apennylate]

It is always a pleasure hearing such kind words over my work... Thank you again...!

[Priyanshi]

ha ha ha, My pleasure.

[Abhishek Asthana]

all i can say its again a magical wordplay... extremely well written and i wish this magic should be revealed out in front of the whole world in the form of your published book... i'll be the first online buyer i guess... :) :) :) :)

[apennylate]

Haha... Oh wow, Abhishek... You truly humble me with the heavy praise... I will be sure to let you know if that book ever becomes available... Thank you ever so much for the encouragement...

[Psychotic Lily]

Wow amazing, it's really deep. I like how keep the rhyme going. Love your work!

[apennylate]

Rhyming is fun to keep going, that is for sure, love the amazing review... Thank you, Psychotic Lily...

[Joey Nizz]

What I have read is beyond perfection in its words!
Every word you wrote gave me an image as I was reading it.

Well done Silente, an other day and other great job! :)

[apennylate]

Much appreciated, Joey... Another day, another fun review... Thank you...

[Joey Nizz]

Your welcome :)

[Mr.Writer]

The last line makes me feel good...
I enjoyed the adventures this poem took me to...
Keep it up :)

[apennylate]

Thank you, Mr. Writer... I have continued to enjoy your flow as well... Keep crafting and excelling in your form everyday...

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Silente :)
No problem

[Maria]

Loved this piece. Nicely written

[apennylate]

Loved this review, nicely written insight... Thanks, Maria, it means the world...

[Maria]

You're welcome. You have a unique way with words

[apennylate]

I appreciate that, is not me, however who has the way with words... They seem to more-so have a way with me, heh...

[Maria]

Lol. That does make sense, indeed.