Before Metaphors

Before the metaphors and metal forged

I sat ignored and lonesome

alone and broken

Groanin' in an ocean of token defeat

rote motions

dead feet

My feats retreat

bleeding dreams and fleeced sheep

eaten lacking wheat

a sheath for elite meat treats and bleep heaps

Driven deeper steeper

hear her cry when satellites fly

I sit outside and mind my own business

but in this bees nest I'm best before checks in reality

I'm a liability

to the masks of sentimental sentinels

brandishing fundamental finality on the mantle of rivalry

Sodden grease and I follow she

all of me

falling free

solemn freeze

I'm free-falling asleep 

Author's Note

Enjoy...!

Reviews

[Arundass TP]

Nicely written poem. Enjoyed reading

[apennylate]

Thank you, I remember this poem... Not AS much my groove anymore, but alas, where would we be if not for the bricks of yesterday.

[Arundass TP]

Welcome friend 😊

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Looks like you could rap that poem. This certainly expresses how in todays world there are so many things that occupy our mind.

[apennylate]

You absolutely can rap it, not nearly as efficiently as say, the lyrics I write nowadays, but I sure was... Persistent.
Thanks very much for the time, and aye, the need to find a way to connect with others during the confusion of today... It is quite important

[Ken Simm.]

There is still a rhythm throughout this free falling write that I find entrancing sticking certainly to the readers conciousness. This piece rises and falls live sea waves

[apennylate]

I certainly feel like I am falling lately, and I wouldnt say it is a bad thing.
I was named after the ocean, and
Bob Dylan, aha, Thanks for the time, Ken.

[Miss Sharon]

Nicely done! ( a sheath for elite-meat-treats and bleep-heaps...) Love the almost tongue twister in these lines. ~Sharon

[apennylate]

Thank you, Sharon, I appreciate the time taken to read and comment!
Tongue twisters are the best, especially Dr. Seuss.

[Thomas W Case]

Powerful work. Fantastic imagery.

[apennylate]

Much appreciated, thank you, Thomas

[emmajoygreen]

You certainly shuffle your thoughts, and yet, somehow in shuffling, create a cascade of liquid gold. I hesitate to read back and back to when first written, and will sit still to keep my own promise but feel that there will be many different observation about the meaning of this or that. Your meter had me reading louder and louder til I'm tempted to say, the walls rocked but.. Obviously the words are laid at someone else's feet,

' I sit outside and mind my own business...
But in this bees nest I'm best before checks in reality
I'm a liability for the masks of sentimental sentinels brandishing fundamental finality on the mantle of rivalry...
Sodden grease and I follow-she.. '

onwards into space, dark and light, dancing through time to your own heartbeat but wrapped- within someone else's reflection. Need read this again

[apennylate]

Thanks very much, Emma Green.
It would certainly not be too much to state the rocking of walls that transpired upon reading.
I am, after all...
Dylan, the Shaker of Walls

[Pete]

nice flow - easy on the tongue but not so on the heart and soul.

for me, this line says it all -

'I'm a liability for the masks of sentimental sentinels brandishing fundamental finality on the mantle of rivalry..'

[apennylate]

Appreciate the time, Pete, Thank you.
I certainly enjoy that line, was a point of evolution for me if I recall.
Cheers

[Anita Frader]

this is really great, reads like a song

[apennylate]

Thanks for the really great appreciation, Anita!
I wish life was a song...

[Anita Frader]

as long as it's not on repeat :)