Feels Like Forever...

Woke up this morning, feels like forever since the mourning of your name...

In shame I hid tethered to fame, a blind grain of sand against a slimy flame

I'm gaining momentum like rain, a zany feelin' bein' clean

weaning myself off the draining lifestyle, my grind paid in dreams

My time stood-still, feels like December when your clever weather was stormy

I grew gills and stormed on... 

A starship trooper in September, I ran around in embers

no space vacuum in dust, I grin and shoulder on

In my holster a wand, it sings songs about wrongs

atrocities gonged through the city, a bong hit of infinity

I stare behind me and see her one last time in the rust of spaces left between us

I know she will not see this, I'm just a bleeding creature...

So whisper feels like forever

...Leave it

Reviews

[Chrissie Muldoon]

Oh wow.... 'feels like forever since the mourning of your name...' sets us up perfectly for what you're feeling, and immediately hits as well, because all of us have--- in some way or another--- mourned someone's name and what that name means (or meant) to us.
Just brilliant.

[apennylate]

Thanks, and yes we all have, sadly.

[pia]

Every word here in this poem fits perfectly....has an affect on the writer and glows with emotion. I love it !!

[apennylate]

I do not know if I like the review, or the profile picture, more... Haha, thanks... I always seem to read your name as "Pie"... Kind of disappointing it is actually "Pia"... Haha, I will just keep calling you Piece of Pie, in my mind at least... Lol

[pia]

Ahahahahah
I have deep side and i have my meme side (intentional rhyming )
Lol this dude here keeps calling me pai.....
Yes feel free to call me what ever you want !! Its a free world (leaving out north korea lol)

[apennylate]

ROFL... Oh my... Lololol... Dude, it is just your name... It attracts pie, and aye... I tell everyone that as well, albeit.. I leave North Korea out of it... I do not need any sensory bullshit coming my way... You know how HE gets... Lmao... Ahahahaha...
I am friggin' dying laughing over here...

[pia]

Oh no he may just send more failed missile tests towards "writers cafe"
Lol same im laughing over the name pia
My best friend once made a spelling typo and called me "poa" and like the banter hasnt stopped
I am no more pia to my friends but a poa lol

[apennylate]

Hey, at least you are a Piece Of A*s... That is better than being THE a*s... Aha...

[pia]

I have no idea what you just said !! But imma meme that
HeY at LeAsT yOu aRe a PiEcE oF A*S
Hahahah im a strange person sorry

[apennylate]

Rofl, meme the heck outta it, strange or not, I like it...! I never know what I am saying....

[pia]

We never know what we were saying.....well same here....
I have severe social anxiety....said the weirdest thing to a dude today and scarred him oops my bad

[apennylate]

Scarred or scared him...? Or... Or both... Haha

[pia]

Both :/
Loool ooopss

[Mr.Writer]

I say scared ;)

[pia]

Ahahah loool oh god i came home and went like "why am i like this"
Its ok he thought it was funny so idk

[apennylate]

Lmao, i do that all the time, man... I ask myself... Did I just mentally scar that person...? If so... do i care... haha

[pia]

Same
Usually idgaf
But in this case i totally lost ma chance with a cutie

[apennylate]

A cute dude...!?!? I was not aware men came in the flavor of cute... I wanna be cute...

[pia]

Everyone is allowed to be cute.
You be what ever flavor you wanna be

[apennylate]

...YESH... Yes, then... I am the ultimate flavor of kute... BAR NONE...!

[pia]

Conquer the world with that Kute !!!!

[apennylate]

Lmao, you are killin' me, srsly... I think I cried a little from laughing...

[Mr.Writer]

Don't worry, I cried as well XD

[pia]

I actually look like im laughing but deep down i cry as well xD

[pia]

I think my display picture makes the stuff i say even worse.....like id be damn serious about saying something....and then thered just be my profile picture xD like amazing !!

[Mr.Writer]

Lol xD Yeah

[apennylate]

Shaan... I am super confused... Why are you commenting on my conversation... Acting like nothing happened...? I was beyond courteous to you, and you have ignored me, acting like you did nothing wrong... I apologize for not being able to collab' with you in the style you wanted... Instead of ignoring me, and being passive aggressive, and trying to boss me around with my writing... You could have just said something... I would appreciate that, next time, as opposed to subliminally vying for acceptance by commenting on others conversations... I find that rude, and would kindly ask you to not... Not while behind closed doors... You are quite rude...

[apennylate]

A good profile picture can destroy all preconceived notions of character... Lmao, Pia... Pie...

[pia]

Well that good very sad very quick .__.
Anyway
Its ok i look like a prepubescent 12 year old anyway so ya *cries*

[pia]

This has been by far the most entertaining comment section for me looool

[apennylate]

ME TOO! People say I look 15 on a good day... I am 26... Argh... We will join a sad-sap club... This has been the best comment section EVER... We found out guys can be kute, North Korea censors amazing jokes, and last, but not least... We have identified you as a piece of a*s....

[pia]

I am a 20 year old gurl who likes calling her self a tea cup cuz i am v fragile and smol like lil pupper
I feel u fam
People think im 14 and im like NUUUU BISH IM 20 COME AT ME

[apennylate]

......I thought you were a guy this whole time, what the heck, man... Mind=blown... Lmao, I iz tiny like teeny tot...! Lolol... People be like... Where is your facial hair.... I be like... Bish, i am perfect for allergies, hairless breeds...

[pia]

AHAHAHA I AM A GIRL!!! looooooool dead af
Id probably grow better facial hair than u XD girl stash

[pia]

Pia is a girls name !!!! Im crying

[apennylate]

I live in america, dude... That means Pia... Is A PIE NAME...! Lmfao... Yes, girls often DO grow more hair than I do... At least I have hair on my head... That is all that matters...!

[pia]

Well i have hair on my head too ;_;
What even !!! AHAHAA
Yess as long as u dont have bald spots you are good to go !!!
I live in Pakistan
Its not a common name here either....infact its the name of an airline Pakistan International Airlines (note the initials)
I never hear the end of jokes and banter ;_;

[apennylate]

Oh dear, that would be... You were unintentionally named after an airlines acronym... You win todays saddest-sack award... Hahaha... Edging out me, in second place, as the hairless boy wonder...

[pia]

At the airport
I always deal with the
"Wheres your name"
"Its right there......"
"Oh are you the owner of this airline" *proceeds to laugh like a clown*
And i just stand there with a poker face
Aahh sed life
Hairless boiz > hairy boys eugg so you are good to go !!

[apennylate]

Be like, "yep, why you laughing...?" As DEAD serious as you can f*****g be... See if they start to panic, haha... Sed, sad, shed life... Obviously, have you seen the hair in some of those places...! rhaewfokib5rheluibegliueg... No thank you...

[pia]

I dont wanna get deported ._. So i laugh or fake one....
AHAHAH EW XD
Boys scare me !!! I stand from far away and admire em
They come too close i fkn run like hell naahh

[apennylate]

Deportation imminent... Over a joke... Seems legit... Lmao...
Not all boys are bad, though, girls can be equally "nahhh" inducing

[pia]

Nooo boys r great
What i meant was i have social anxiety af so i end up saying weird s**t and scaring em away xD like last night

[apennylate]

Hmm... Let me offer my advice from the perspective of a boy, then... They do not give a f**k about weird s**t, you are a girl, talking to them... If they are single... That is MORE than enough... Trust me, MORE than enough... Rofl...

[pia]

I think stuff works a lil different in Pakistan :/ idk i guess it does

[apennylate]

...People are people wherever you go, I would almost assure you, aha... BUT, maybe you are just a freak of nature... and un-loveable... Hahaha

[pia]

I am lovable af
Maybe a freak but a fun one xD !!!
Ahahahahahahah

[pia]

I occasionally do bite if someone messes

[apennylate]

Then... What are you worried about...! That all sounds great! Except... Biting can be painful...

[pia]

But its a good self defence xD

[apennylate]

A good ranged weapon... THAT is good self defense... Far to many variables at such short distance...

[pia]

I had to change my display ppl kept thinking i was some weirdo ;_;
(Which i am)

[apennylate]

But... But... Distorted-Spongebob...

[pia]

Distorted spongebob will be back in no time
Gotta relieve ppl from getting scared of me xD
I mean they would if they met me
Im 5ft of horror !!!

[apennylate]

Five whole feet of horror...! You seem to have such an unabashed view of your own debauchery... But how, I wonder, can you view yourself so clearly... I mean, how do you see over the counter-top...?

[apennylate]

My only short joke, I swear, hahahaha

[pia]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL
10/10
Finally someone on this site with a sense of humour

[apennylate]

Lmao, plenty of people with sense of humor here... They just would rather be super serious...! After all, writing is a super serious thing, don't you know... People die on the fields of words...!

[pia]

you should read the stuff i write
Youll be like dafuq a distorted sponge bob can be deep too !!!
I like being both serious and funny !!

[apennylate]

I have, indeed, read some of your stuff... It was your about me, and some of your writing, in fact... That had me CONVINCED you were a guy... Believe it or not, lol... I am never the best reviewing stories... But I DO read them...

[pia]

Looool what made you believe i was a guy i am so intrigued goddammit XD

[apennylate]

Not only deep, economic and financial roots show in the analytical way you construct sentences...

[apennylate]

Because you... You talk like... I do not even know anymore... Lol, stop judging me...!

[pia]

Thanks ;_;
I mean i am studying those subjects at uni !!

[pia]

Ahahahahah i am not judging !!
I never judge (even if u told me u were a serial killer....i mean id be concerned but i wouldnt judge !!!)

[apennylate]

But if I lived next door, there would certainly be some judging... Who wants to live next door to a serial killer... unless the serial killer worked for them... Hmm...

[pia]

Hmmmm interesting
Well if its someone
From the other side of the Earth
Then i doesnt matter at all!!

[apennylate]

EXACTLY... So... Now that we understand each other...

[apennylate]

I am a serial killer.

[pia]

Wonderful
I am a crazy cat lady. Nice to meet you silente (what ever that name is)

[apennylate]

Tis Silent with an e... The "E" is silent... My REAL name is Dylan... But ssshhh, do not tell anyone... Especially anyone readings there news-feed... We will have to combine forces and send out serial killer cats to clean things up... "Clean..."

[pia]

I have 7 cats
All ready to fight a b***h who messes

[apennylate]

Holy... I have two cats... I adore cats... But... SEVEN...? Do you live on a friggin' farm...?

[pia]

LOOOL noo its Pakistan we got alot of stray cats...so i just take care of em
We also have huge gardens so they have a nice lil house made

[apennylate]

Okey... Well I am a bit jealous then... I do not have the space for that... Do you have like, inside cats and ones that just come get fed..?

[pia]

I have one house cat
Rufus
And the rest live outside cux they stray but the have a nice house made for em !! And yeh they eat and go and then they come back

[apennylate]

So... I mean, technically... If we got down to brass tacks... I have more kitties than you... Thus... Making me a crazier cat lady(man)...

[pia]

S**t.
Dont steal my thunder man

[apennylate]

Wait, whut... I wanted to reply with "Stolen."... But I need at least ten characters...?!?!?! UGHread moreWait, whut... I wanted to reply with "Stolen."... But I need at least ten characters...?!?!?! UGH

[pia]

You can always add !!!!!!!! To emphasize the thunder stealing

[apennylate]

..........

[apennylate]

...Ahem...

[apennylate]

!!Stolen!!

[pia]

What a lil bich !!!

[Wajiha Nayeem]

hahaha....damn...am laughing literally and crying as well!...two crazzy ppl together!

[pia]

Crazy is the new funny !! Aah yes

[apennylate]

I am not crazy... I just... I have things going on in my head that require my attention... Almost constantly... Almost always... That was the most elongated reaction, Pie... Oh, this is how you would do it... Oh, ok thank you... No problem... WHAT A LIL' BICH...! Lolol

[pia]

HAHAHAHAHA
This was the most confusing
Amusing and funny conversation ever

[apennylate]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[pia]

Imma call you doolin
To like protect your identity from the scums of this planet.
Perfect start to a friendship

[Mira]

I admire this poem, beautiful work! You are a true poet with a rare quality almost no one has, you make one feel as if they're with you in the poem, and this is so amazing :)
Thank you so much for sharing, I will be looking forward to reading more of your work sometime :D
Love and warm regards,
Mira.
Also, if you wish please do review my work as well, it would be much appreciated. Give any feedback at all!

[apennylate]

Gosh, sorry I missed your review, Mira... I am stunned by your appreciation of my work... You have the rare quality of unabashed enthusiasm in your review, thank you...! Would love to read and give feedback...

[Nora]

This totally deserves to be read , well done, i love it

[apennylate]

Your review totally deserves to be read... Thanks so much...

[Nora]

My pleasure 😊😊😊

[FlatLineBeauty]

I love the way you describe things and how you relate them to things people know well. You really get inside the readers mind and you make it come to life. What really felt like forever was how much I read this. Like I really stopped and just went through it line for line. I really enjoy your style. xo FLB

[apennylate]

Your praise make me blush, FLP... Such intoxication over words is a wonder to hear... I work very hard, line by line... So I enjoy knowing people enjoy it... Thank so much...!

[Wajiha Nayeem]

i love this....wow! you have written this wonderfully and this makes a beautiful poetry i must say!..kepp going manh!

[apennylate]

Thanks, wohman...! For the wonderful insight... I love it, wow...!

[rowan.taylorrr]

this is amazing.. it brought me to tears honestly. it reminds me of my own experiences in the past. losing a loved one hurts, it hurts more than you can imagine until happebs

[apennylate]

I would hope they were good tears, XO... So very honored to have brought such emotion to you... Thank you, and it hurts more than anyone could ever articulate...

[Rubein Geterminah]

The lost of a love one hurts but the memories keep.
And most of the time, we find escape through expressions of our deeper emotional states in such times as writers.
Well versed.

[apennylate]

Thank you, SRG... They do indeed...

[Rubein Geterminah]

Welcome Silente

[The Iron Horseman]

Gritty, dark, sad and desperate would be mt take, Am I right?
The only line that threw me was 'atrocities gonged through the city'. I have no frame of reference; not knowing what city I cannot guess what atrocities are being referred to. Want to help me out with that?
Nice work.

[apennylate]

The reader is always right when translating emotion from word to mind... I would love to help you out, if I had a fixed city, or atrocities in my head when writing this... I am absolutely all about the flow landscape and sounds, more so than concrete meanings... Thank you, Iron... I appreciate your take on this, and the thoughtful question...!

[The Iron Horseman]

You're welcome. Thank you for explaining. I will remember that you are more about the abstract when I read your future work.

[The earth (Titan maphah..]

you nailed this one...no, you kill everything you write...

[apennylate]

Dakalo/Earth... You kill every review you write, thanks again for the support...!

[The earth (Titan maphaha)]

anytime...

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

"Whisper feels like forever"-such well- described grief is compelling and profound. Wordage and style are so original and rhythmic- absorbing and carries you on a wild ride until the end. Stellar.

[apennylate]

Stellar, Higley... Your words are profound themselves... Thanks so much...