Feels Like Forever...

Woke up this morning, feels like forever since the mourning of your name...

In shame I hid tethered to fame, a blind grain of sand against a slimy flame

I'm gaining momentum like rain, a zany feelin' bein' clean

weaning myself off the draining lifestyle, my grind paid in dreams

My time stood-still, feels like December when your clever weather was stormy

I grew gills and stormed on... 

A starship trooper in September, I ran around in embers

no space vacuum in dust, I grin and shoulder on

In my holster a wand, it sings songs about wrongs

atrocities gonged through the city, a bong hit of infinity

I stare behind me and see her one last time in the rust of spaces left between us

I know she will not see this, I'm just a bleeding creature...

So whisper feels like forever

...Leave it

Reviews

[Chrissie Muldoon]

Oh wow.... 'feels like forever since the mourning of your name...' sets us up perfectly for what you're feeling, and immediately hits as well, because all of us have--- in some way or another--- mourned someone's name and what that name means (or meant) to us.
Just brilliant.

[apennylate]

Thanks, and yes we all have, sadly.

[Diane]

Filled my heart with sadness while reading. writing with emotion doesn't mean much unless the reader is feeling it. Thumbs up.

[apennylate]

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while.

[Diane]

no problem, i do the same thing.

[apennylate]

Glad I am not the only one, then

[Fran Marie]

"just a bleeding creature"at the end ..points out the pain and just how intense the emotions truly run .a poignant piece so well expressed and written

[apennylate]

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while.

[Dennis N. K]

I rated it high because I can feel the pain of this poem

[apennylate]

The pain is what spurred it... Thank you, Dennis

[Dennis N. K]

Always welcome

[Kelly Scheppers]

"I stare behind me and see her one last time in the rust of spaces left between us."

Extraordinary line one could get lost in. This is my first of your's, and feel moved to read more.

[apennylate]

Oh, well thank you, Kelly... That means a lot coming from a writer such as yourself... I liked that line as well...

[Fabian G. Franklin]

There was a sad longing written here...but then again the will of a survivor coming through. That seems to be a pervading theme in your work, that you are a survivor. Here's to making it through all the tough times to better days ahead. I enjoyed the read.

[apennylate]

A keen eye, friend... Have certainly had some tough times... But what are tough times but hotter fire to burn more impurities away... Thank you so much for the insight here

[Jiya]

You're gifted silente! I love reading your work

[apennylate]

Thanks ever so much, Jiya...! I love people reading my work! So fancy that...

[Einstein Noodle]

this is one of the most straight forward poems of yours i have read so far...i like that you have mixed your enigmatic flare with the concrete ..i feel the pain of it ...especially engaged by "...a bong hit of infinity" ..fantastic says i! and the seeing one last time in closing is sublime the way you put it ... "i'm just a bleeding creature..." is killer in the vulnerable state of your protagonist ...moves my heart out in empathy :(
E.

[apennylate]

Thank you muchly, Noodle of Einstein... It felt that way when writing it, and am glad to know it evoked a reaction

[Fran Marie]

not a problem..good to see you back..

[apennylate]

Thanks so much

[ROXANE DORSEY]

songs of wrongs. I know how the words go. thanks for the lovely piece.

[apennylate]

Aye, thank you very much for appreciating

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Nice structure and emotions with a strong voice inside your prose,
Forever is a long time...with those gills appearing at the right moment.

[apennylate]

Right? Gills can make for a lasting time in little to no oxygen environments... Thank you, Josie

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Yes! :)
You're welcome.

[Coyote Poetry]

This is so good. I wanted to read more my friend.
"I know she will not see this, i'm just a bleeding creature...
So whisper feels like forever
...Leave it"
The above lines. Strong, logical and perfect. You made the reader feel the thoughts and the emotions. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[apennylate]

You are most welcome, Coyote, but thank you even more for appreciating it...

[Coyote Poetry]

I did like and you are welcome my friend.