Igniting the way a shade of light lights the face of lighter tidings, smaller whinings in the dark, stark fumblings in a park.
Stop and start, lying still, her start and go heart rate accelerates drastically.
A gel pill dated by a rascal hassles her tassels, has less than tables served for nickels earned, that rascal burned through all her coin; through all the voices in her head saying don't be turned away from graceful slathering.
A tale of gathering woeful ailments abstractly, ad-lib crazy, exactly.
Yes.
No.
Maybe...
"Yes that a-way", says the master with tails wrapped around Daisy's deadly hide-a-way.
Sapped faster of razed singularity, a depth of depravity wavers, savors the ingenious aroma of genius philosophy.
Layered stones around Daisy's tighter place, stoned moanin' higher paced
My head is running around with this- the beat and musicality and flow of it has taken over my brain-Ha! Driving Miss Daisy to distraction with those "gel pills" until her tassles hassle-...Whaaaat?! I smell the genius aroma of ingenius philosophy" here for real..Excellent Wordage, imagery, all-"Yes, that a-way!" Exactly.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Ooohhh... You found Daisy... One of my more loved creations... She certainly has some tough times be.. read moreOoohhh... You found Daisy... One of my more loved creations... She certainly has some tough times befall her, hah... Exactly... Thanks for the crazy unique review, like always, Annette
"Sapped faster of razed singularity, a depth of depravity wavers, savors the ingenious aroma of genius philosophy."
As always, you use wonderful wordplay. And I struggle to understand hahah 😛
Btw, I think philosophy is genius but.. Only on paper 😉😂
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
The struggle is only as bad as we make it, Yummy. You are the baseline for "understanding"... Do not.. read moreThe struggle is only as bad as we make it, Yummy. You are the baseline for "understanding"... Do not worry if it matches up with other peoples "understandings"... Makes for a dreary world, if we always question ourselves based on another's views... I have to ask... What do you mean by that? Only on paper...? I am confused! Haha... Do you mean that in execution of said philosophy... Things can become... Muddled...?
7 Years Ago
No I think philosophy seems a tad too impractical/theoretical/dreamy/unreal to implement 😉😛read moreNo I think philosophy seems a tad too impractical/theoretical/dreamy/unreal to implement 😉😛
yeah - go you - my pranayama kicked in big time with all those spacings! Nice one Bob.
Sapped faster of razed singularity hey - well that's pretty fast ...
I think Daisy is a very lucky gal, if I am reading this correctly - and she has a master and all - ooh la la ...
Clever like reading an encyclopaedia in Africkaans when you are a true blue Aussie like myself .. well done my friend X
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
I will not even pretend to know what you meant with that last line... As I am a true blooded America.. read moreI will not even pretend to know what you meant with that last line... As I am a true blooded American, and thus, black-blooded, haha... Thanks so much, KWP, Daisy is... A hard-working gal, that is for sure... With not the best streaks of luck... Not all masters are "fun"
Well...you're like a beat poet...very cool! I love the rhythm, the cadence, the feel of your writing. This begs to be spoken word and forces the reader to slow down and say it in their head in a jivy staccato. The formatting lends itself nicely to this style as well. Great work!
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 2 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thanks, KM, that is a very grand compliment, and taken very seriously...! I love beat poetry, and wr.. read moreThanks, KM, that is a very grand compliment, and taken very seriously...! I love beat poetry, and write everything to a beat...
Interesting piece...I am unsure if this is a final draft or if your testing your experimental form on this audience....I think this could be worth further exploration and maybe do a lyrical vignette series ...as you graze the grit here but you could go darker and deeper...in doing so you could have a pretty cool prose piece here..potentially worthy of a poetry mag submission. Thanks for sharing! I love to see this kind of courage....write till your fingers bleed odes!
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
It was absolutely a test at creating an emotional "tie" to a female name... You catch on quick, and .. read moreIt was absolutely a test at creating an emotional "tie" to a female name... You catch on quick, and I am definitely doing to be doing more about Daisy... I am not the best at formatting or presentation... But it is fun to explore... Thanks so much for the wonderful insight and review... I shall!
I am so glad you liked it, Ms. Island... I am overwhelmed by the praise... Thanks, and happy you enj.. read moreI am so glad you liked it, Ms. Island... I am overwhelmed by the praise... Thanks, and happy you enjoyed!