for the newest you

i've spent so many nights 

sleeping next to you. 

it's undefined. 

fine. 

held close and protected from daybreak. 

i remember when kissing made it official 

when 15 yr old me defined the terms 

in a coffeeshop surround by nine of my closest friends. 

and here we are now, 

night after night, 

sharing stories,

disclosing bubble-wrapped bombs

between kisses. 

if this isn't intimacy I don't know what is,

tied together in a no strings attached sort of way. 

i want to make you stop hurting. 

i want to be there when you can't catch you breath 

in the middle of the night 

and kiss you 

not like i don't care but more like

i accept you for who you are.

and you care too

when you know i'm not a fragile thing

meant to be mended

but that i still live and want to be held. 

you say you're new to this.

well i'm not new to not knowing what i want. 

all i do know is that i keep coming back to you,

to this

undefined comfort. 

a truth still blurry around the edges.