Dumped and Ready to Write Spoken Word

 

I was downsized from your heart today.

Cut out from the company of your lips,

denied further access to the parts of me

I left in parts of you.

I could come in one last time but everything

I knew seemed hollow as if you changed the codes

so I couldn’t hack into your system, screw with your decision.

You told me I should understand

that times are tough

and smiles limited and conflicts of interest

made you less interested.

You said I didn’t change, your perception did.

The way that things should be run around here,

should work to a new beat now.

I think it’s already stopped thumping my name.

You let me clear my space but I know you keep copies

and I hate the thought of finding you lonely

looking for bits of me I won’t be showing you again.

(I would if you gave me my position back.)

You said your speech and it was like a recording

of all the right things to say

and that just made me sick not sad.

And the only word I could think of was Proper.

What kind of f*****g word is proper?

Proper is the death of intimacy.

And while you were standing there all proper and I was

wide-eyed and prey-like I could hear my own words fleeing,

the kind of scampering that sounds like running water

or pearls spilling.

I accepted the paperwork of obligatory understanding

and professionally postponed all tears till you were safely

out of splash zone.

I didn’t even know I had the heart to continue working

but being unwanted is like that slideshow that comes out at

weddings.

But instead of sappy strangers I see just the

highlights of you.

Your heavily-flawed self strikingly flawless.

And now I want to be employee of the month.

I was downsized from your heart today

and it really got to my head.